Fell in Love with a Girl
by caanbr
Summary: Tired of girls fawning all over him, Edward Cullen asks his step-brother, Jasper to be his boyfriend at their new school in Forks, Washington. It seems like a fantastic idea, until he sets eyes on Bella Swan. Rating M for language.
1. I Just Don't Know What To Do With Myself

Author's Note and Disclaimer:

I had a decent note typed up, but my beta lost it. I think it went something like this…

This is the first story I've ever written, so please don't be too hard on me.

I suppose I should extent a big thank you to Amanda (my 'beta')…sure she loses things and whatnot, but she also devotes a lot of her work day to helping me research things. Let's hope her boss doesn't find out. :o)

Character names, song titles and lyrics do NOT belong to me. They are the property of Stephenie Meyer, The White Stripes and The Ractonteurs, respectively.

Thank you!!

Chapter 1

*I Just Don't Know What To Do With Myself*

EDWARD

I beg my stepbrother, 'Jasper, pleeease!?!'

'Hell no, Edward. I'm not doing it!'

Ugh...shot down. I try another approach, 'You don't know what it's like man! We can't all be lucky enough to find our 'true love' when we're 16!'

I see his resolve start to crumble, but then Alice, my twin, pipes up from the backseat, 'Why can't Rose just do it again?'

'Fuck no!' Rosalie and I say in unison.

Alice pouts, 'I thought it worked out well last time.'

I roll my eyes at Alice and scowl at Rosalie in the rearview, 'Yeah, it DID work out until she started fucking Josh whatshisname. Then all of the girls wanted a shot at mending my broken heart.'

Rosalie reaches up to pat me on the shoulder, 'I really am sorry about that, Edward. He was so hot though! A terrible fuck, but hot nonetheless.'

'Anyway...' says Alice, '...what am I supposed to do with myself while you guys are off queering it up and whatnot?'

'What do you mean?' I ask.

'I mean...while you and MY man are posing as homosexuals, what the fuck am I supposed to do with my free time?'

Oh...I hadn't thought of that. I stammer, 'Uh...um...chess club?'

Alice's face turns red and her voice goes up a few octaves, 'FUCK THAT!! That's like social suicide!!'

Now I get defensive, 'Chess club wasn't that bad in Jacksonville.'

'Right', Alice says, 'that's where you met Tanya.'

'Yeah, she was...' I'm cut off before I can finish my thought.

'Tanya was so pretty...' Alice trills in a sickeningly sweet voice.

'Tanya was so perfect...' Rosalie chimes in, in the same sickening tone.

'Tanya was a straight-up bitch.' Jasper dead pans.

'Whoa...she wasn't that bad!' I start defensively.

My siblings stare at me in disbelief and I shut up.

I met Tanya when we lived in Florida. She was beautiful. She was charming. She was, in fact, a 'straight-up bitch'. At the time I thought I was so lucky. I had finally found someone to be with.

I had joined the Chess club, instead of trying out for the football team in the hopes of staving off unwanted attention.

Not to sound conceded, but I'm a fairly good-looking guy. At least this is what I've been told. I've also been told that I have a 'good build', a 'beautiful face', 'just-fucked hair' and an 'amazing ass'. Again...this is what I've been told.

Back to Tanya...she was absolutely lovely. She was the only girl I ever actually asked out on a date. We went to a restaurant SHE wanted to go to. We saw a movie SHE wanted to see. This was the precedent for the rest of our dates. I had never been in a real relationship before…I thought that was how it was supposed to be: One person bending to fit the other person's needs. I just happened to be the one bending…and bending…and bending.

You'd think being around Alice and Jasper, or even my father and Esme, would've given me some sort of insight on what a relationship is supposed to be like…

You should have fun together, instead of counting down the hours until you can be rid of them.  
You should look forward to seeing the person, instead of ducking into side hallways to avoid them.  
You should agree on what shows to watch, instead of suffering through ANTM marathons.  
You shouldn't be afraid to talk to your sister for fear your girlfriend will get jealous!!

It was that last one that finally sent me over the edge with Tanya. After three months, I had had it. She gave me a bunch of shit for having brunch with Alice, Rosalie and Jasper and not inviting her along. We were discussing gift ideas for our parents' second anniversary…there was no reason to invite her! Of course, normal human logic didn't work so well with Tanya. I shudder even remembering that conversation.

'You're fucking Rosalie, aren't you?' she accused.

'Um…what? Are you joking?'

She narrowed her eyes at me, 'You didn't answer the question, Eddie.'

I fucking hate being called 'Eddie'.

'Wow…okay…no. I am NOT fucking Rosalie. She's my stepsister.'

'What-the-fuck-ever!! That doesn't stop Alice and Jasper.' she said with a disapproving sneer on her face.

I came to their defense, 'Alice and Jasper are different. We've already discussed this.'

Her tone was condescending, 'Oh yeah. Okay. Sure, Eddie. Whatever you say.' And that was it.

'I'm done.' I got up to leave.

Then came the baby talk, 'Wha? Where's you goin'?'

'Far, far away from you.' my feet couldn't get me to the door fast enough.

'Oh Eddie, weddie…pwease don't go…' How the fuck did I tolerate this for so long?

'Tanya…I'm going to say this one time and one time only: Fuck. Off.'

'ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!' ah…the bitch was back.

'Goodbye, Tanya.' The door was already opened and I had one foot outside.

'FINE! GO! IT'S OVER, EDDIE!!' she screamed at my back.

'K, bye!'

And that was that. She tried to talk to me at school the next day, but I wouldn't give her the chance. I kept Rosalie or Alice by my side at all times to make sure she never had an opportunity to pounce. Three weeks later Dad told us that he was being stationed in San Diego…it was a welcomed move.

Things had been going well in San Diego, until Rosalie, who had agreed to pose as my girlfriend to keep the girls at bay, decided to fuck Josh whatshisname. When word of that got out, the girls were relentless. They called, they texted, they wrote notes, they sent flowers.

Why?

Because I'm cute?

Because I'm a football player?

Really?

Is THAT the only reason?

Ugh…yes…it was.

They didn't even know me. I could've been the dullest man alive. I could've had horrible taste in movies and music. I could've had box of dried skin, ala Goldmember. I could've been some horrible, sick date rapist.

Apparently none of those possibilities occurred to them.

I had to put up with the unwanted attention for six more months. Then Dad retired as a military doctor and accepted a job at a hospital in Bumfuck, Washington. He and Esme, my stepmother, have promised that this will be the last move.

So…here we are, driving to our new home. Dad and Esme are driving ahead of us in the huge moving van, Mercedes in tow. The sibs and I are following in my Volvo, trying not to annoy each other too much.

As excited I am about a fresh start, I'm still really nervous. I don't want this to be like the other schools. If we're going to be here for more than six months, I'd really prefer not to be the object of any unwanted affection.

'Okay, I'll do it.' Jasper says, breaking the silence.

The rest of us join together for a resounding, 'WHAT?!'

Jasper repeats himself, 'I'll do it, Edward. I'll be your boyfriend.'

I am truly beyond grateful. 'For real, man? You'll do this for me?'

Again, Alice needs to put her two-cents in, 'This is a bad idea.'

Fuck, she's annoying. 'Why, Alice?' I snap.

'Well…what if you meet someone? Or…what if Jasper slips up?'

Jasper comes to the rescue, 'I think we'll be fine, love.'

'But Jasper…we'll never have a moment together during the day! It'll suck! Please don't do this.' She starts to pout.

Jasper tries to appease her, 'Baby…just think of it as a whole day of foreplay.'

Alice slowly smiles…clearly liking that idea.

Rosalie gives them a look of disgust, 'Ugh…you guys…gross.'

'Yeah…seriously you two.' I agree.

'Oh, no-no-no-no-no, Edward…if Jasper is going to do this for you, then you're going to have to put up with our lovey-dovey shit.'

'Yeah, but Alice…'

'NO 'buts' about it, Edward. Take it, or leave it.' Alice can be quite the pit-bull sometimes.

I concede, 'Fine…fine…whatever. Lovey-dovey it up.'

Jasper clears his throat, 'I do have some conditions.'

Now I'm curious, 'What kind of conditions?'

Jasper thinks for a second, 'Like…I'm not going to play grab-ass in public with you.'

I'm dumbfounded, 'I don't expect you to!! I wasn't planning on that anyway…ass.'

'I'm just saying. I know I'm hot. I don't want you falling in love with me.' He's wags his eyebrows.

Now I'm just grossed out, 'Oh for fuck's sake, Jasper!! It's only for show. I'm not going to try to hump your leg or anything.'

'I don't know, Edward…we Hale twins are pretty irresistible.' chimes Rosalie, trying to hold back her giggles.

Alice squeals from the back, 'Let's make a list!'

'What kind of list?' I ask apprehensively.

'Ground rules, of course. You have to know each other's limits?'

Jasper and I glance at one another, eyebrows raised. Both of us totally confused.

Alice sighs, 'Like…I'm sure neither one of you is going to be wearing any make up, right?'

Yup…we're still confused.

She goes on, 'I'm sure neither of you are willing to go so far as to kiss each other.'

At that, we both look at her with our noses crinkled in disgust.

'Which one of you will be the butch and which one's the bitch?', she asks.

Now we see where she's going with this.

Rosalie laughs, 'Oh Jasper's definitely the bitch!'

'Fuck you, Rose!' Jasper snaps at her.

'Sorry, babe, but I think she's right!' Alice admits.

'Oh, Mary Alice, not you too!' Jasper sounds defeated.

I decide to put him out of his misery, 'It's cool guys, I'll be the bitch. Jasper is being good enough to do this for me, it's the least I can do.'

Jasper instantly relaxes, 'Why thank you, lover.'

I blow him a kiss, 'Anytime, muffin.'

'Holy shit, you guys are almost convincing.' Rosalie laughs.

'We'll need to go shopping!' Alice says excitedly.

And with that comment, straight Edward and Jasper are back. 'What the fuck for?' we whine.

Alice gives us a look as if the answer's obvious, 'Because if you want to successfully fool people, you'll both need to dress better.'

I don't trust her, 'Oh I call bullshit on that! There's nothing wrong with the way we dress. You just want an excuse to shop.'

She looks to Rosalie, 'Back me up, please?'

Rosalie nods, 'She's right. Not that you guys dress badly, it's just that you don't dress well enough to pull off gay.'

'Okay, whatever.' I shrug.

Alice squeals and claps her hands. She does love shopping.

I try to get us back on track. 'So...what else?'

'Hand holding?' Rosalie offers.

I look at Jasper and shrug, 'I'm game if you are, man.'

He debates for a few seconds, 'I'll allow it. What about dates?'

'What about dates?' I ask.

'Well...we should be seen together outside of school, right? We can't just hope being 'together" during the daytime hours will be enough to keep people convinced.'

I give it some thought, 'I guess you're right. Let's make it appoint to be seen together outside of school at least twice a week. And of course we'll be seen while we're shopping for our bitching new clothes.'

Alice squeals again.

'Oh and you'll be buying all of my clothes.' Jasper says quickly.

I start to argue, but I realize it's only fair.

'Oh, Edward...' Rosalie sounds worried, '...no football.'

My jaw drops and my head whips around, 'Why the hell not?'

'Because if you and Jasper are able to pull this off, everyone will know you're of the limp-wristed persuasion. They aren't going to send you out on a field to get beat down, or allow you into a locker room with a bunch of sweaty young men. Mmmmm…sweaty young men.'

I know she's right, but that doesn't stop me from being majorly disappointed.

'Pet names?' Jasper asks, bringing me out of my funk.

I start grinning, 'What'd you have in mind?'

'Pookie?' Jasper offers.

'Stud?' Alice adds.

Rosalie chips in, 'Daddy?'

What have I started? 'Um...yes...yes...hell NO!!'

There's a few moments of silence and then we all start laughing hysterically. It takes a good fifteen minutes before we're able to pull ourselves together.

Always the one to bring us back to reality, Jasper says, 'So we're really doing this?'

I nod, 'Yeah man...yeah we are.'

As we pull into our new driveway, he wonders aloud, 'Which one of us is going to tell Mom and Carlisle?'

'NOT IT!' Rosalie, Jasper and Alice yell all at once.

'Ugh...' I groan, 'you guys fucking suck.'

---

'YOU'RE GOING TO DO WHAT?!?!' my father shouts.

'I'm going to pretend I'm gay in the hopes that girls won't throw themselves at me.' I explain calmly...again.

His brow furrows in confusion, 'I don't understand.'

I try again, 'Well...ever since I turned thirteen the girls haven't left me alone. At first it was kind of cool, but it's gotten old. I just don't want to be bothered anymore.'

Dad takes a huge gulp of his wine. I can tell he's trying to process this information.

We're all sitting in the new dining room, waiting for Alice to come down, so we can start dinner. I figured now was a good time to drop the bomb.

Esme finally speaks up, 'Edward, sweetie, what will you do if the boys start throwing themselves at you? Surely the girls would be better than the boys.'

'YES!' my father practically screams! 'Good point, hon!'

Jasper clears his throat and all heads turn to him, 'I'm going to be his fake boyfriend.'

Esme spits out her wine, 'WHAT?!'

'Mom...he needs me. Really he does. Girls these days are shameless. No offense, Rose.'

'None taken.' Rosalie smirks at him. She's fully aware of how shameless girls can be.

Esme tries again, 'Well couldn't Rosie be your pretend girlfriend?'

There's a moment of silence as Rosalie and I look at one another.

I answer for the both of us, 'We did that in San Diego. It kind of worked, until she dumped me. I didn't really want to go through that again. Besides, it's not fair to make her sacrifice her senior year. Jasper already has Alice, so it's not like he's going to break up with me.'

Dad sighs, 'Well how does Alice feel about this?'

'Why thank you, Daddy! It's about time someone took MY feelings into account!!'

All of us, with the exception of Jasper, gasp collectively as Alice bounces into the room. Her hair, which was the same color as mine not two hours ago, is now jet black.

'What the hell is going on in this house?! Alice, what have you done to your hair?!' Dad is about to reach his breaking point.

'I dyed it, Daddy!' Alice responds brightly and smiles.

Dad tries to remain calm, 'Yes, darling, I see that. Why?'

'Well I figured if Jasper and Edward are going to be boyfriends, then I could reinvent myself too! I've wanted to dye my hair for a while now, actually. This seemed to be the perfect time!'

I think Dad is catatonic; Esme speaks for him, 'Sweetheart...why now? And why black?'

Alice smiles fondly at her, 'Well, it's the start of a new school year and none of these people know me. They don't know what I looked like this morning, so the fact that they'll see me for the first with this hair will be of no shock to anyone, except for you guys. And I'm over the copper hair. No offense, Edward.'

I smile at her, 'None taken, Al.'

Dad sighs, 'Don't you think it's a bit extreme Alice? The piercings and the tattoo and now the hair? What will people think?'

'Daddy, I don't really care what they think.' Alice answers honestly, 'I only care what you guys think. You all know who I am on the inside. That's what matters to me.'

He sighs again…knowing he's beat, 'Okay sweetie. If this is what you really want.'

She smiles at him, 'Of course it is! Now…about Edward and Jasper. Things will work out just fine. I'm starting to have a good feeling about this.'

Rosalie, sensing my dad still isn't sure, speaks up, 'You know, Carlisle, we didn't really HAVE to tell you about this. We all respect you enough to keep you informed. The last thing any of us wanted was this blind-siding you and mom.'

Esme reaches across the table to take his hand, 'Rosie has a point, darling. Kids don't seem to share anything with their parents these days. Think what the shock would've been if we had heard this from anyone else.'

I love my stepmother…I really do. Besides being breathtakingly beautiful, she loves my father so much. She's also an amazing mother.

Dad gives a half-smile and finally gives in, 'Okay. You're smart kids. Whatever you think is best.' He gives a pause and then asks me, 'What about football?'

I squirm in my seat a little, 'Well…we're not going to make our 'gayness' a secret, so I doubt I'll be able to play. I was thinking I'd focus more on my music?'

He looks disappointed, 'I see. You know how much I enjoy watching you play football.'

I hang my head, 'I know, Dad. Don't you know if there were any other way, I would've thought of it by now?'

Again…he sighs, 'Yes…I suppose you would have.'

I really don't know what else to say to make the situation any better. Lucky for me, Alice does...

'Oh really…it's not as if anyone has died. We're all the same; we're just going to be…acting for a while. Everything is going to work out, Daddy, I promise. Don't be grumpy. We can still go to all of the games. Edward just won't be playing this season, that's all. Now let's eat…I'm starving!!'

And just like that, the conversation was over. We move on to lighter topics and actually have an enjoyable first dinner on our new home.

Two hours later Alice is in my room, helping me pick out an outfit for our first day of school.

'Don't you have a fashionable scarf?' she asks, looking through my closet.

'I have my winter scarves!' I offer, trying to be helpful.

'Uh...no. We're going for Chuck Bass here, not Nanook of the north.' She's starting to get frustrated.

I hold my hands up in defense, 'Gheez psycho, it was only a suggestion. You've never mentioned having a problem with my wardrobe before.'

She smirks at me, 'Well that's when you were dressing like a regular boy, not a gay boy.'

I roll my eyes at her, 'Fine, fine. What should I wear, oh wise one?'

She combs through my wardrobe for another five minutes before pulling out a pair of jeans and a black, button-up shirt.

She hands the clothes to me, 'It's the best I can do. You have some good staples, but you need more things to tie them together. We're definitely going shopping tomorrow, whether you like it or not.'

I smile and pull her into a hug, 'Thank you so much, Al. You don't know how much I appreciate this.'

She hugs me back, 'Oh you're welcome. I'm happy to help. I meant what I said to Dad...I really do have a good feeling about this. I'm so excited for tomorrow!'

She gives me one final squeeze and goes to leave my room, 'Hey...' I call to her and she turns back to me, '...I really like your hair.'

She flashes me a brilliant smile, 'Yeah...it totally suits me.'

After Alice is gone I take a few hours to unpack some of my things. I have all of my CDs shelved and most of my books too, before I decide to call it a night. As I stare up at my new ceiling, I think about what tomorrow has in store for us.

Rosalie is going to fit right in...she'll probably have a boyfriend, or a least a date, before the week is out. Jasper will be the devoted boyfriend I need him to be. Alice will have a new best friend before the final bell rings. As for me...I'm going to enjoy a nice, drama-free year.


	2. Steady As She Goes

Author's Note and Disclaimer:

I'd like to say thank you for all of the positive reviews I've received. They certainly did brighten my day.

I forgot to thank Harrison last time...without her; the story wouldn't even be posted yet. So: THANKS, HARRISON!!!

Also..thanks to my beta Amanda. If she wasn't slacking off today, this update wouldn't even happen. (Amanda...does J-Bird know that you're just sipping lattes and surfing the webbernet?)

Lastly: All character names, song titles and lyrics do NOT belong to me. They are the property of Stephenie Meyer and The Raconteurs, respectively.

Thanks again!!

Chapter 2

BELLA

'Haven't seen the sun in weeks, my skin is getting pale. Haven't got a mind left to speak, I'm skinny as a rail...'

I normally welcome the sounds of the Raconteurs, but right now...

'Ugh...fucking alarm.' My hand lazily searches the nightstand for my cell...

'Light bulbs are getting dim; my interest is starting to…'

Ahh...found it. Alarm now silenced, I snuggle back under the covers.

There's a heavy pounding on my door, followed by my brother Emmett's obnoxiously loud voice, 'BALLS...WAKE UP!!'

No he's really not doing this right now. I pretend that I don't hear anything.

'BAAAAALLLLSSSS!! RISE AND SHINE, MOTHER FUCKER!!' he screeches in what I assume is his best Dane Cook impression.

That's it, 'GO THE FUCK AWAY, EMMERS!'

I hear a low chuckle and the pounding stops.

About a minute later, there's a hesitant knock on my door. No way is it Emmett.

'Seth, it's too damn early.' I whine.

I see the knob turn slowly, before the door inches open and my little brother's head peeks around.

'G'morning, Bells!'

I let out a huge yawn, 'What do you want, kid?'

'It's Monday, Bells! The first day of the school year!'

Awww...he's so excited, how precious...and nauseating.

I decide to bring him down, because that's the kind of bitch I am, 'It's just high school. It's not like you're going to be magically popular now.'

His face falls in disappointment and I immediately feel bad.

Oh hell, why not? 'Seth, you know Em will let you hang out with him. And J loves having you around. You'll fit right in.'

His face splits into a huge smile and I feel myself smiling just as big in return.

'You really think so, Bells? You think J likes me hanging out?'

'Are you kidding? Jacob thinks you're great! You're like his little apprentice...' I hear Emmett's footsteps coming back towards my room and I add loudly, '…besides, you're better off being J's apprentice than Emmers'.'

'Balls, you know I hate when you call me 'Emmers'.' Ah...speak of the devil.

'And you know how I feel about you calling me 'Balls'.'

'Touche.'

Seth tries not to laugh at him.

I'm able to maintain a straight face, 'You mean 'touché.'

'Huh?'

I smile sweetly at him, 'Exactly.'

'Anywho...get up and shower and shit.'

'But I don't have to shit,' I retort innocently.

Seth is now laughing at us out-right.

Emmett on the other hand is getting tired of my attitude, 'Could you not be a bitch?'

I yawn again, 'I suppose, but where's the fun in that, Emmers?'

'Fine. Whatever. James'll be here soon. You know how he is with schedules. Girlfriend or not, he will leave your sorry ass here.'

They both leave my room. I hear Emmett head back to his room and Seth scamper down the stairs. They're such pains in my ass, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I smile to myself and scoot out of bed. He wasn't kidding about James though. If I'm not ready by the time he gets here they will shove off without me. Apparently chivalry really is dead.

I grab my stuff and head to the bathroom. I'll have to double time it if I want breakfast. Unfortunately, my effort is hindered when I have to wait five extra minutes for the water to get hot enough for a shower. This means I won't have time to shave my legs. Eh… whatevs…I just hope James doesn't think he's getting any today.

After my all-too-short shower, I throw on a robe, wrap a towel around my head, and race back to my room. On any normal day I would wear the standard jeans and t-shirt… alas this won't do today. Today is the first day of school and if I show up wearing 'the usual', Mikey will kill me. I go to grab the skirt he made me buy last week and remember my unshaved legs. Looks like I'm going with jeans and a t-shirt after all.

'HA!! I WIN!!' I shout to an empty room. I put on what I hope are a clean pair of jeans and my Dead Weather shirt.

I suppose if I'm going to be wearing my 'Bella-form', as Mikey calls it, I should at least do something with my hair and maybe attempt some makeup. I take my hair down from the towel to start the drying process. On to the makeup. I look at my reflection in the mirror and decide that a little foundation and lip gloss will do. Mikey's going to be so disappointed in me, but there's really no point in doing more. Back to my hair...how much time do I have? Twenty minutes. I could either let it dry naturally, or I can straighten it. I opt for the latter. I head back into the bathroom to plug in the straightener and then I head downstairs to grab breakfast.

Seth's sitting at the kitchen table when I get down there. I start going through the cupboards, looking for something quick to eat when I notice he's got an empty plate in front of him?

'What'd you have, kid?'

He looks kind of nervous. 'Um…bacon and eggs?'

I raise an eyebrow at him, 'You're asking me? You're the one who ate it.'

'It was bacon and eggs.'

'Sweet! Where is it?' I start looking for the remnants, but not finding any. 'Where is it, Seth?'

'Um…well…mom made breakfast.'

'Just for you?'

'I was up really early, so she made me and Dad breakfast before they left for the station.'

Our dad Charlie is the chief of police here in Forks, Washington. Our mother Renee is his secretary. You'd think living together and working together would make them sick of one another, but it's actually had the opposite effect. They really can't get enough of each other. If they weren't my parents, it'd be kind of sweet. They are my parents though, so it's creepy and gross.

'That's fucked up. She pulls this shit all the time. You're clearly her favorite.' I'm pouting now. I get pouty when I'm hungry.

'You know how she is, Bells. It's my first day of high school…she wanted to do something special for me, that's all.' Now HE'S pouting…clearly feeling bad about the situation.

'What about Emmett?' I ask.

'What about me?' Emmett booms, entering the kitchen.

Seth looks at me with wide eyes, pleading with me silently not to mention breakfast.

'I was just asking if you were ready.' I cover. Emmett is poutier than I am when it comes to food.

'Fuck yeah, I'm ready!! SENIORS, MOTHER FUCKER!!'

I roll my eyes at him. 'Emmett, is that really necessary?

'Uh yeah…it is. You're just jealous that you're only a junior.'

'Oh yes…I'm so jealous that I have two more whole years of slacking off, before I have to join the 'real world', as opposed to your one.'

He looks confused. Ha. Mission accomplished. I return to my search for food. Ahhh…Pop Tarts. Before I can even start to reach for them, Emmett pushes me out of the way and grabs the box.

'Emmett, what the fuck!!!??'

He reaches in, smiles and pulls out a shiny pouch, before tossing the box to me.

I open it…yeah…there's nothing in there. 'YOU TOOK THE LAST ONE, ASSHOLE!!'

Emmett just laughs at me and turns to the toaster. It only takes a second for me to cross the kitchen, jump on his back and wrap an arm around his throat. I put all off my strength into trying to choke the mother fucker.

'Balls,' he gasps, 'get off of me!'

He's slapping at my arms, but I'm not letting up.

I try to keep an even tone with him, 'You're going to give me those Pop Tarts.'

Emmett stumbles back a bit, but manages to grunt at me, 'No...fucking...way...'

'Come on, Bella...let him go.' Seth sounds kind of worried.

'Relax, kid. I'll let him go as soon as he backs up off the Tarts.'

Emmett keeps struggling and I can feel my grip start to loosen. Clearly he does too, because he starts jerking around in an attempt to buck me off. I'm starting to have second thoughts about my attack now. He spins around and that's it for me. I slip off of his back and I land on my feet, but my momentum keeps me hurdling towards the back door...this is going to hurt. Right before I make contact, the door opens. Instead of hitting wood and glass, I hit a wall of solid muscle, also known as Jacob. He never sees what hits him and we both fall onto the back porch.

We lay there for a minute, before Emmett says, 'Oh fuck…J are you alright?'

My feelings are kind of hurt. 'Is J alright? What about me, you cock- knocker?!'

He snorts at me, 'Balls, you're always falling down, I'm sure you're fine. J on the other hand needs to be in top form in order to block for my ass Friday night.'

J, who's still on the ground, is actually laughing. 'I'm fine, Em. I was just caught off guard, is all. If you wanted me on my back, Bells, you only had to ask.'

'Ugh... in your dreams, jerk-off.' I punch his arm and climb off of him.

'So...' J says as he's getting up, '...to what do I owe this unprovoked attack?'

'Emmers took my fucking Pop Tarts!' I tell him.

'So you tackle me in retaliation? I fail to see your logic, Bells.'

Emmett chuckles in satisfaction. As if on cue, the toaster goes off.

'Actually, smart-ass, my bear of fucking brother threw me across the kitchen!!' Not exactly true, but whatever.

Finally, J looks adequately shocked. 'Wow...I guess Seth just doesn't know his own strength.'

There's a moment of silence, before the three boys erupt into laughter. I'm really failing to see the amusement here. Emmett, who had been shoving MY breakfast into his mouth, starts coughing...spitting crumbs everywhere in the process.

'I hope you fucking choke.' I say to him.

'You hope who fucking chokes, babe?'

We all turn to see James, my boyfriend, standing in the doorway. I can tell he's taking his first day as a senior seriously. He's wearing his best jeans, a blue striped, long-sleeved, button-up shirt and brown loafers. Fifty bucks says he's got a blazer in the car. I walk over to hug him hello. He hugs me back and I notice his normally shaggy blond hair has been recently cut.

'Emmers, sweetie... he took my Tarts.' I whine.

James actually rolls his eyes at me, 'Gheez, Bella... could you be any more dramatic?'

My mouth drops open in shock. Really? Really. Did he really just say that to me? He always takes Emmett's side, so I don't know why I'm so surprised. Still... it'd be nice if he could back me up once in a while.

'So... everyone ready?' James asks with an impatient tone to his voice.

The boys all give a nod and head out of the kitchen.

'Give me a minute, Jame.' I give his hand a squeeze as move to go up the stairs.

'Why do you constantly have to run late, Bella?' he complains.

'I'll only be a minute.'

'Fine...' he sighs, 'hurry up.'

What the fuck is up his ass this morning!? He hasn't even been here for five minutes and I've already had enough of him for the day. He never used to be like this. We've been together over a year now. Before that we were pretty good friends. I was hesitant to go out with him at first. We have the same group of friends and I didn't want things to be awkward if it didn't work out. He persisted though and eventually he wore me down. I was happy when things worked out for the best. I was even happier when he wasn't intimidated by my crazy family. He actually likes hanging out with Emmett, which is... well... let's face it, it's fucking weird. To each his own though.

I get to my room and glance around to make sure I'm not forgetting anything. Bag? Check. Hoodie? Check. Pencils in bag? Check. Phone? Check. Oh...I have a message. Of course, it's from Mikey.

- _isabella...if ur wearing jeans and a tshirt, imma punch u._

Fuuuuck. I text him back.

- um... exactly how hard will you punch me?!

Before I can even flip my phone closed, he responds.

- _say goodbye to ur ovaries, bitch. ur hair better look good._

Fuuuuuuuuuuck!!!

'BELLA...WE'RE LEAVING!!!' I hear James yell from downstairs.

Shit!! I grab my bag, not even caring if I have everything I'll need for the day. I'm half way down the stairs when I remember I left the straightener on.

'FUCK MY LIFE!' I shout to no one in particular, before I stomp back up to the bathroom. I unplug the straightener and glance at myself in the mirror. I'm pleased to see that my hair doesn't look too bad. Maybe that'll appease Mikey. I need to text him back. Where's my phone? SHIT!! I rush out of the bathroom and head back to my bedroom. There it is, sitting on my bed, flashing with a new message. This one is from Angela...

- _Mikey's on the warpath...be prepared. xoxo_

I love that girl.

- thanks for the warning, pumpkin. see you soon!

I hear the front door slam.

SHITFUCKSHITFUCK!!!

I race down the stairs. When I get there, everyone's gone. I head outside just in time to see the boys driving away in James' car.

NO. FUCKING. WAY.

'ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!' I scream.

I hear a gasp and turn to see our neighbor, Mrs. Anderson, bending to pick up her morning paper. 'Oh... I'm so sorry, Mrs. A!'

She gives me a little head nod and I swear I catch a hint of a smile, but it was too quick to know for sure. I really do like that lady.

I start digging through my bag for my truck keys. In a way I'm glad that they left me. I love driving my truck whenever I can. Sure it's loud and slow and the paint is fading horribly, but it's all mine and that's why I love it so! And it's even better now, since Dad hooked me up with a new sound system. I turn the key and the engine roars to life. I put on some White Stripes and I'm on my way.

A few minutes later my phone starts ringing... it's Mikey.

I hit talk, 'Hey baby!'

_'ISABELLA!!! Thank Buddha you're alive!!'_

'Huh?'

_'The J's and your brothers just arrived and you weren't with them! I thought maybe you fell down the stairs and broke your neck.'_

'Wow... that's pretty dramatic, even for you.'

_'I KNOW, RIGHT?! So... why didn't you ride with them?'_

'I was going to, but they left without me.'

_'O. M. G. Are you fucking joking?'_

'Nope.'

_'Please tell me you're joking.'_

'I'm not joking.'

_'You have to be joking.'_

'Yeah, but I'm not.'

To say that Mikey is gay would be the understatement of the century. To say that Mikey is about ten times gayer than Johnny Weir sufficiently covers it.

_'You swear you're not joking?'_

'On a stack of bibles.'

_'That jackhole!'_

'Yeah.'

_'So you guys are totally breaking up, huh?'_

'What?'

_'Well... I mean... he just left you all high and dry. That's really messed up. You can't just keep taking his shit.'_

'Can we please not have this conversation right now?'

_'Ugh...fine. Where are you? Oh, never mind, I can hear you.'_

'Bitch.'

I hang up, park my truck and take quick glance around the parking lot. Yup...no sign of James, Jacob or my brothers. Those fuckwads! I would never do this to any of them...okay I would. I jump when someone starts banging on my driver's side window. Of course, it's Mikey. He doesn't even let me get out of the truck before he starts in on me.

'Isabella Marie Swan, what in Hades are you wearing?'

I look down at myself, 'Um... clothes?'

He rolls his eyes and for a second I think he might bitch-slap me, but he doesn't. 'Excuse me, but what happened to the skirt we bought last week?'

'I didn't have time to shave my legs this morning.' I admit.

'Isabella...I had time to wax my eyebrows, whiten my teeth and starch my Polo this morning. How is it that you're always running late?'

'Um...just 'cause.' I reply.

'Unacceptable!' he shrieks before turning around and sashaying towards school.

I'm standing in his wake when I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn around and I'm immediately blinded by the flash of a camera.

'Fuck, Angela!! Was that really necessary?'

She smiles at me sheepishly, 'Oh...sorry, Bella. I just wanted some candid shots for the pep rally on Friday.'

I soften a little and smile, 'Aren't there some popular kids you could torture?'

She smiles back, 'You should've seen Emmett. He posed as if he were doing a shoot for G.Q.'

I nod, 'Yup...that sounds like him.'

We start walking towards school together.

'So...are things okay with you and James?' she asks.

I stop walking and look at her, 'Yeah. Are things okay with you and Eric?'

Her smile falters slightly, 'Of course... we're perfect.'

I know she's lying, but she also knows I'm lying. We study each other's faces, debating on whether or not we want to call one another out. She's the first to look away. Ha! Score for the new school year: Bella 1 / Angela 0.

Angela and I have been friends since preschool, but we hit a bit of a rough patch when she tried to steal my boyfriend in seventh grade. I was dating Michael Newton. He was an eighth grader, he was cute, he was popular and he was the best dresser in middle school. Angela wrote him countless notes and flirted like mad. When she started having her older sister drive her past his house, I flipped. I confronted her in the cafeteria. Some food was thrown and we were about to start pulling hair when Michael stepped in. He calmed us down and made both of us promise to leave one another alone and meet him at the park after school. That was the afternoon Michael came out of the closet.

Looking back, I suppose it shouldn't have come as such a shock to us, but it totally did. After being angry with him for all of an hour, I told him that it didn't matter and I would still be his friend, no matter what. Angela felt the same way and we've all been best friends ever since.

There are definite perks to having a gay best friend. They can help you shop. They somehow obtain all the latest gossip. They will honestly tell you when your ass looks fat. Actually Mikey's only downside is his horrible taste in music. He has a love for all things techno and currently he's all about Ke$ha and Lady Gaga. Gaga I can support. Ke$ha...not so much. I've tried to introduce him to the genius that is Jack White, but he refused. Angela on the other hand...

'Nice t-shirt, Bella.' she says, breaking the silence we had fallen into.

I smile hugely at her, 'Thanks!! My good friend and I went to a Dead Weather concert in Portland this summer. They were AMAZING!!!'

Angela's smile gets even bigger, 'Oh my gosh!! I went with a really cool girl I know. It was the best concert I've ever been to... by far!!'

We both start giggling like little girls. I had forced Angela to come to that concert with me when James backed out at the last minute. We listened to their CD the whole way there, so she would know what she was in for. It turned out to be the best time we'd ever had. On the way home, we couldn't stop smiling. At the time I was so annoyed with James for backing out, but hindsight being what it is, I'm SO glad he did. The experience wouldn't have been the same without Angela.

We round the side of the school and see Mikey sitting on the front steps. He gets up and walks towards us.

'And cue the dramatics.' I whisper to Angela. She giggles softly and we put on our best 'serious' faces for Mikey.

He takes a deep breath, 'Isabella... I forgive you.'

Obviously, I have a confused look on my face, because he keeps talking.

'I understand that some people just don't take pride in what they look like. As your friend, I shouldn't judge... I should embrace you for the mess that you are. So, yes... I forgive you for not caring. I won't let it get me down. I will double my efforts to make you the best you that you can be in preparation for a better tomorrow!!'

I must be standing slack-jawed, because Mikey snaps, 'Isabella... gross!! Close your mouth, you're starting to attract attention and not the good kind. That's no way to start the new year.'

Finally, I pull myself together, 'I'm sorry, Mikey. I appreciate your forgiveness. I'll try harder in the future... I swears.'

He looks at me skeptically, as if he's not sure whether or not I'm being genuine. It's Angela that gets us back on track, 'Mikey... you know that's all you can hope to get out of her. Come on, ladies... we shouldn't be late for the assembly.'

Seeming to be satisfied, he starts walking and telling us the latest gossip on the way to the auditorium, 'So... the word is that we're getting four new students from San Diego! Two girls and two boys, if my sources are correct. I am so anxious to meet them. I mean... California... how fantabulous is that? Apparently their dad is the new doctor and their mom does something with interior design... I think? I'm not sure what they're names are or...'

I tune Mikey out as we enter the auditorium, while I try to spot James or the boys. I see someone waving and calling our names, but it's not James...it's Seth.

'BELLA... ANGELA... MIKE!!!' Seth is waving his arms frantically...bless his heart.

I walk over to where he's seated with the other freshmen, some of which I recognize. 'What's up, kid? Where's J?'

'I dunno, Bells. Look... I'm really sorry we left without you. James kept saying we were gonna be late and it's my first day and all... I didn't want to miss anything, you know? Em and J even tried to talk him out of it, really they did!'

He looks like he's on the verge of tears, 'It's okay, kid. I understand. James only wants to follow his own schedule. I'll take it up with him. Emmett totally could've stopped him though.'

He nods, 'You're probably right. Hey Mike!'

I didn't even know Mikey had followed me over until I heard him talk from behind me, 'Oh hey, little brother!! You ready to be a big bad freshman?'

Seth blushes a little, 'Yeah, I think so!'

Mikey actually squeals, 'Oh Isabella... he blushes just like you do! Isn't that just the sweetest thing ever?'

I roll my eyes at him, 'Oh yeah... so very precious.'

I look back to Seth, 'We have to go, kid. We'll catch you at lunch.'

'Kay Bells... see you later.' he waves and turns back to his friends.

We walk back over to where Angela has been waiting and texting, 'It's about time!' she teases. 'Bella, come on, J saved us seats.' She starts to pull me towards where the junior class is seated.

'But what about me?!' Mikey looks hurt.

Angela turns back to him, 'James and Emmett saved you a seat, you big baby. They're somewhere near the front with the rest of the seniors.'

Again, he squeals, 'Fucking-A!!'

'Mikey...' I shout after him, '...try not to flirt with the football team too much.'

He smiles broadly, 'Oh I make no promises, Isabella!'

Angela and I laugh and head to find Jacob, who did indeed save us two seats. As I pass by him to take one, I smack him on his head... hard.

'Fuck, Bells!! What was that for?'

'THAT was for leaving without me!' I yell-whisper at him.

He immediately looks ashamed, 'Oh yeah. Sorry about that.'

It's too easy to make him feel guilty, so I just let him off the hook, 'It's okay, J. It gave me a reason to drive the truck.'

He smiles and starts to reach over to mess up my hair, when Angela flops down in the seat between us. Jacob's smile gets bigger, 'Hey Angie... what's up?'

Angela's face flushes a little, 'Oh same ole, same ole...'

I tune out and let them have their moment. J has always had a thing for Angela ever since he first set eyes on her. Since J's dad is also a police officer, I've known him pretty much my whole life. Angela didn't meet him until kindergarten. We used to chase him around the playground, because that's what you did back in the day.

Even then, J was always very protective. He made sure that no one bothered or made fun of us. It was like having a body guard or another brother. If it wasn't for J, the other guys would never have accepted Mikey as openly as they did...and that's only because Angela convinced him it was the right thing to do. He's always been putty in her hands.

The summer we turned thirteen things started to change a little. J started hanging out with Emmett and James more and more. They would play football or do various other 'guy things' that Angela and I weren't included in. That's when Angela started to notice just how hot J was becoming. I'll be honest; Jacob is a nice looking kid. Not my type at all, but I can totally see the attraction. J's a full on Indian...(the kind with the feathers, not the dots)...so he's got the fantastic bone structure and skin tone. Add a beautiful smile and fantastic hair and you've got yourself a heart breaker. Angela's no slouch herself. To describe her as accurately as I can is to say that she looks just like Rosario Dawson's seventeen year old doppelganger. She's, in a word, gorgeous.

Despite the raging hormones, we've all remained close. I was certain J was finally going go ask Angela out last summer. He kept dropping hints and everything, but Eric Yorkie beat him the punch. Angela, being the sweet person she is, said yes to Eric and they'd been dating ever since. She doesn't talk to him as much as she talks to J though. I bet if I go through her last twenty or so text messages, they'd all be from him...and vice versa.

Even still, he's never done anything to interfere with her relationship with Eric. He truly is a great friend and only wants her happiness. You have to admire that level of devotion.

Speaking of which... I should text James...

- i made it to school safely... in case you were worried.

As I wait for him to respond, I look around at my fellow juniors. It's always fun to see what effect the summer has had on people. Who hooked up... Who broke-up... Who's gone slut... Who's gone emo...Who's new... Wait a tic...

I realize that there are two heads of hair in front of me that I don't recognize. One is short, spiky and black. The other is a fantastic copper. My phone starts vibrating...it's James.

- _i wasnt worried. im surprised u even made it on time_

Ugh... he really is a dick sometimes.

- you really are a dick sometimes.

- _dont get pissy just because im honest_

I opt to ignore him this time and go back to analyzing the heads in front of me. They're definitely new. When you live in a town as small as Forks, you pretty much know everyone by name. Maybe these are the jokers Mikey was rambling about this morning... they must be. I look at the first one. In addition to the interesting hair, she... at least, I assume it's a she... has six piercings in her right ear and three in her left. She also has a Chinese symbol tattooed on the back of her neck. Even though her hair is spiking out every which way, you can tell she took her time with it. Chaotic perfection...I'm not sure why, but this intimidates me a little. I focus on the other head...

I almost have to sit on my hands to keep from touching that coppery hair. It looks as though he... yes, it's most definitely a he... just rolled out of bed and didn't even bother with it, but from this angle, it totally works for him. Something tells me that if I were to touch it, it would be ridiculously thick and soft. Hehehehe...thick and soft. I start giggling at myself and a snort escapes. Copperhead in front of me kind of turns to investigate where the snort came from and I get a nice view of his profile. Oh wow...unless the other side of his face has been left hideously scarred by rabid bunnies, he's quite possibly the prettiest boy I've ever seen. Even his mouth, what I can see of it, is pretty. Hehehehe...now I have that redneck from Deliverance in my head saying, 'He got a real pretty mouth, ain't he?' I start giggling even more and I can't seem to pull myself together.

Angela finally nudges me, 'Bella... get it together!'

'I'm sorry... I'm sorry. I just...Deliverance... squeal!!' I know I'm not making sense, but I can't help it.

'Isabella... calm-the-fuck-down!' Angela says in her authoritative voice. I take a few deep breaths and start to calm down.

'Whew... I think I'm finished. Thanks, Angie.' I smile at her.

'You're welcome, love...' she smiles back, '...and don't call me Angie.'

She turns back around to J, who actually IS allowed to call her Angie, and I'm left alone with my thoughts again. This is not a good thing. I need a distraction. I text Mikey...

- how're things over in senior land?

Luckily, he's quick to text back...

- _fantastic!! im sitting next to helena troy._

- who? is she new?

- _um...no isabella. helena troy. the really pretty girl. the one who launched ships._

- that's helen OF troy, you dumbass.

- _whatevs. shes pretty, thats all i know._

- what's her real name? is she new? she has to be right?

- _yeah...pretty sure. havent caught her name. shes sitting next to a guy whos even hotter than she is._

- ah...2 of the 4 you mentioned? i think the other 2 are in front of me.

- _DETAILS!_

- i can only see the back of their heads!

- _so?_

- oh... well... the girl has short, spiky black hair. multiple earrings and a tattoo on the back of her neck.

- _a tattoo of what?_

- some chinese symbol. i think she's kinda short. either that, or she's slumped low in her seat.

- _i see. interesting. what about him?_

I glance back up at Copperhead and for some reason, I'm hesitant about sharing information about him. I realize it's totally ridiculous on my part, but I can't help it.

- he's got brownish-reddish hair. that's all i can tell you.

- _u suck at details._

- true. what about your 2?

- _shes gorgeous!! hes gorgeous!! they look alike. twins? curly blond hair. hazel eyes. full lips. WELL DRESSED!!_

- names?

- _still dont know. u?_

- not a clue.

- _balls._

- awww...you love balls. :o)

- _mmm...i totally do._

I laugh and put my phone away. The principal just started talking and I don't really want to be disrespectful. I look back to Copperhead. I wonder what his real name is. I wonder if he's single. I wonder why I care.


	3. You're Pretty Good Looking For A Girl

**You're Pretty Good Looking (For A Girl)**

Author's Note and Disclaimer:

Thank you, thank you, thank you to my beta Amanda. Without her, most of my paragraphs would only make sense to me.

Thanks to the readers. More people have signed up for update alerts, so I guess that means they like it. HOLLER!!

As always, character names and song titles do NOT belong to me, they are the property of Stephenie Meyer and The White Stripes respectively.

Thanks again...

Chapter 3

**EDWARD**

I hear a snorting sound behind me and I turn to see where it came from.

I only need to turn around half way before realizing it's her. The girl I saw outside earlier. Correction, it's the extremely beautiful girl who drives the ridiculously loud truck who I saw outside earlier.

I quickly turn my attention back to the front of the room. Evidently I turn a little too quickly, because Alice shoots me a puzzled look. I just shrug and she goes back to texting Jasper. The snorting is still going on behind me as well as some giggling and I hear something about deliverance before a low voice joins the mix and everything stops. I'm tempted to turn around make sure she's still there, but I know she is.

There's a light tapping noise behind me that I immediately recognize as the buttons of a cell phone...texting. Well, if you can't beat 'em...join 'em. I text Rosalie...

- what up, dog?

- _oh wow...you're so 'gangsta'._

- i know. how's it going?

- _okay._

- what's that mean?

- _i think it means okay_.

- rosalie.

- _so... there's a guy._

Wow... she works fast.

- ALREADY!!???

- _lol. i know... i know. i didn't talk to him, i just caught a glimpse when he sat down._

- so?

- o_h football player, definitely! he's tall. and built. fantastic dimples. why am i telling you this?_

- because i sorta asked?

- _oh... right. :)_

- where is he now?

- _he's on the other side of the gay kid sitting next to me._

- jasper?

- _ha! no... not jasper. cute little dirty blonde... his name is mike._

- whose name is mike?

- _the gay kid. i don't know the football player's name... yet._

- i see. and how do you know he's gay?

- _well manicured. the collar is popped on his polo. he keeps eyeing up my bag... and jasper._

- HAHAHAHAHAHA!!

The principal comes out and starts his speech. He welcomes everyone back, greets everyone new and then introduces the football coach, who gets a huge amount of applause. The coach gives the basic, run-of-the- mill 'go get 'em' speech and then introduces his starting line up.

As the coach calls their names and positions, the players make their way to the stage and line up behind him. The applause for them is pretty standard, until he calls up James Myers. There are a few whoops behind me, I'm pretty sure one of them belongs to the beautiful girl. This immediately makes me stop clapping for James. The next name called is Jacob Black and the applause gets even louder... as do the whoops. I stop clapping for Jacob, too. The final name called is Emmett Swan and the entire room erupts into a deafening applause. The whoops are coming from everywhere now. As Emmett appears on stage, I notice that he's huge. He also has very big dimples. My phone vibrates in my pocket. It's Rose...

- _THAT'S HIM!!!_

- obviously.

I lean over and whisper in Alice's ear, 'Rosalie's latest victim.'

She starts laughing, 'Why am I not surprised?'

The applause dies down as Emmett Swan steps to the mic...

'While I was eating my delicious Pop Tarts this morning, I reflected on the past three years I've had at this school. Some memories weren't so good. For instance, I was shoved into a locker when I was a freshman. I had my heart broken by Jess Stanley my sophomore year, during art class. And just six months ago, we stopped having 'Pizza Friday' in the cafeteria.'

There is a significant amount of boos... I guess the pizza was good. Emmett feigns holding back tears and continues...

'Now, now... there were also a lot of good times. As a lowly freshman, I scored my first kiss in the janitor's closet. Sophomore year I made varsity. And just six months ago, we started having 'Pizza Wednesday' in the cafeteria.'

Applause starts up again. Alice leans toward me and says what we're both thinking, 'I can't wait to try this pizza.'

I laugh and nod in agreement and look back to Emmett...

'This year is already shaping up to be the best one ever! I'm a senior. My little brother is finally a freshman, which means I'll have someone at my beck and call at all times. Lastly, the football team is in top form and we're gonna work our asses off to bring the state championship home this year!!'

There is another deafening round of applause and Emmett throws his hands up in the air as if bowing to everyone. He's looking into the crowd and his eyes seem to focus on someone specific. He smirks and before taking his place next to the rest of the players, he steps back up to the mic...

'Oh... and once again... those Pop Tarts were delicious.'

As Emmett heads to his place in line, he's grinning from ear to ear as if very self satisfied. The applause starts for him again. Clearly this guy is well liked.

'He is such an asshole.' a female voice from behind me says bitterly. Once again, I'm fairly confident it's the beautiful girl.

Apparently Emmett Swan is not as well liked as I thought.

As the principal comes back to the mic to close out the assembly, I take a good look at Emmett Swan. I wonder what he did to make the beautiful girl so angry. He looks like a nice enough guy. Despite his size, he wears a goofy grin on his face that makes him appear to be totally approachable. Still... I think back to the tone in which she called him an asshole and I tense up. I feel kind of hostile towards him, which is irrational, I know.

Alice's voice pulls me from my thoughts, 'Edward, are you coming?'

I look over and see that she's standing. I glance around the room and realize that everyone is starting to clear out. The assembly ended and I didn't even notice.

As I stand to leave, I can't resist turning around to steal a glance of the beautiful girl. I try to be casual about it, but when my eyes lock with the biggest brown eyes I've ever seen, time stops. If I thought she was beautiful from afar, I was mistaken. She's absolutely stunning. Her face is heart-shaped. Her mouth is pouty and perfect. Even her nose is lovely. The tone of her skin suggests she's spent a lot of time outdoors. She's not overly tan...she just has a healthy glow. And everything is framed by a gorgeous mane of dark brown hair. I know I'm staring, but I can't find it in me to care at the moment.

I pull my eyes from her face and scan the rest of her. She appears to be about 5'2. She's thin, but still a little curvy. I've never considered myself a 'breast man', but hers are definitely nice and a good size. Am I staring at her tits? Yes. I need to stop. Am I able to stop? Yes…I think so. I stop focusing on her tits and happen to notice the shirt that's covering them. 'The Dead Weather'…I'm not familiar with who or what that is, but I will be soon enough.

I look back at her face and realize that she's been staring at me just as intently. I open my mouth to say something… anything… but Alice starts talking to me…

'Hey Edward, do you have my schedule? I can't find it.'

Reluctantly, I turn around to find Alice searching through her bag.

'It's right here, Al.' I sigh, pulling the schedule out of my pocket and handing it to her.

She claps her hands, 'Oh yay!! Thank you!'

I turn back around, but by that time the girl is gone. Just as well, I don't know what I would've said to her anyway.

'Who are you looking for?' Alice asks from behind me.

'Jasper.' I answer too quickly.

She raises an eyebrow at me and I raise one right back.

Jasper interrupts our staring match, 'Hey guys! Uh... what are you doing?'

'Edward's keeping something from me.' Alice pouts.

'No I'm not! I was looking for my significant other, thank you very much!!' I take a step towards Jasper.

Alice narrows her eyes at me, 'You're not fooling me. You're up to something and I'll get to the bottom of it!'

I maintain an innocent expression.

'Whatever. I'm on to you. I have to get to class.' She turns to Jasper and whispers, 'Bye babe. I'll see you at lunch.'

She touches his chest very briefly, right over his heart and they exchange a quick look that kind of makes me nauseous and envious all at the same time, before she turns and flits off.

'What's really going on?' Jasper asks once Alice is out of sight.

I shrug and play it off, 'I just saw a pretty girl.'

He looks confused, 'Why wouldn't you just tell Alice that?'

I smirk, 'Because it's fun to fuck with her.'

He shakes his head, 'Well played, sir. Come on, let's get to class.'

We follow the crowd out of the auditorium and into the main hallway.

'Should we... um...' he stammers, which is unsettling because Jasper never stammers, '...well... should we be... uh... holding hands?'

'Oh... I hadn't thought of that. I don't think it's necessary right now... maybe later?' I suggest.

He looks relieved, 'Oh... yeah... sure... later. That works. Cool man... I'm heading to trig. I'll see you later?'

'I'm sure you will. Good luck!' I say and start to head to my English class.

'Hey Edward...' he calls out to me and I turn back, '...don't you go falling in love with anyone else.'

He smiles and winks at me before turning into the science wing. I'm left speechless. There are a couple of snickers as I turn back around and continue on my way. I try not to make eye contact with anyone, while I pull out my phone to text Jasper...

- dude... what the hell was that about?!!?

He must've been expecting this because his response is immediate...

- _what? i'm just being the devoted boyfriend you asked me to be._

- yeah, but why was that necessary?!

- _because it's fun to fuck with you._

That asshole. He did that just to get back at me for fucking with Alice. I should be allowed to fuck with her whenever I want! She's my sister, we share DNA!! WE SHARE A BIRTHDAY!! I start to make this argument to him, but it's useless. For Jasper, there is no logic when it comes to Alice. If you fuck with her, you fuck with him. End of story.

When I get to my English class I find Alice there as well. She already has a seat and is talking to a couple of people. I see an empty desk in front of her, so I head over and put my bag down.

'Edward, yay!! I was just talking about you!!' she chirps happily.

I groan, 'Oh well that's never good.'

'Shut your face, I was being nice this time.' she huffs.

I hear laughter and look to where it's coming from. Sitting next to Alice is the girl with the camera who I saw outside earlier talking to my... no... not my... the beautiful girl. Sitting next to me is...

'Jacob Black, you can call me J.' he says, offering a hand to me and smiling.

I shake his hand, 'Edward Cullen, you can call me Edward.'

'Nice to meet you, Edward!' he nods to the camera girl, 'This is Angie Webber.'

She rolls her eyes at him, but smiles, 'It's Angela, actually. He's the only one who calls me Angie.'

'Correction...' he smiles at her, '... I'm the only one you let call you Angie!'

'Sure, sure.' she says and waves him off and then looks back to me, 'It's really nice to meet you, Edward.'

The smile she gives me is quite possibly the most genuine smile I've ever received at a new school. I immediately like Angela Webber.

I smile back at her, 'It's nice to meet you as well.'

'There are two more of you right?' she asks, then clarifies when she sees the confused looks on our faces, 'You have an older brother and sister, right?'

Alice answers for us, 'YES!! Rosalie and Jasper. They're twins, too!! Crazy, right? We're like the Brady Bunch, only we're missing two kids... and a maid... and a cousin named Oliver.' she looks at me, 'DO we have a cousin named Oliver?'

I shake my head no.

'I didn't think so...' she continues, '...oh... and we don't sing. Well... Edward does, but just him. The rest of us can't carry a tune. Well... Esme can, but Esme can pretty much do anything! She's our step mom. She's great...'

'Hey Al.' I interrupt.

'Yes?'

'Breathe, please.' I tell her.

Jacob... J... and Angela start laughing again.

'Wow... you're pretty high-strung, huh?' J asks her.

She smiles shyly now, 'Yeah... I am. I'm sorry. I ramble when I'm nervous.'

J holds up his hand to stop her from explaining more, 'Nah... it's cool. I like it. You remind me of Mikey and Bells. Angie, doesn't she remind you of Mikey and Bells?'

'She totally does! Alice, Mikey's going to love you. I hope I'm not insulting when I tell you that you look like a little Barbie doll. Your hair, your clothes, you bag! Bells and I aren't really fashionistas and it always gets him down. He always drags us shopping against our wills. Granted… we like shopping, but he's all about the all-day-marathon shopping that makes us want to kill ourselves.' she stops talking and laughs, 'I guess it was my turn to ramble.'

Alice picks up right where Angela left off, 'Oh my gosh, I LOVE to shop!' She pauses and adds, 'So do Edward, Jasper and Rose! We're going tonight, actually. YOU SHOULD TOTALLY COME!!'

If possible, Angela's smile gets even bigger, 'That would be so much fun! I'm in. I'm totally in. I'm not sure about Bella, but Mikey will be in definitely. Oh... that is... if it's okay if we all come.'

Alice looks at her as if she's crazy, 'Of course it's okay, crazy!!' Alice claps her hands, 'THIS IS SO EXCITING!! I love plans!'

I try to make an effort, 'So do I. This is perfect. I really need some things for the new year. I have a lot of good pieces, but I need something to pull them all together.'

During this conversation, J has been quiet. I guess shopping isn't his thing. Angela notices his lack of participation as well and looks over. Seeing that he has dirt on the back of his shirt, she starts to brush it off.

'J... how did you get dirt all over your back?'

J's eyes go wide as if he's just remembered something, 'Angie., did Bells tell you that she almost choked Em out this morning?'

Angela looks confused, 'Um... no Changey McSubject, she didn't.'

'I'm not changing the subject, I swear...' J tells her before going on, '...so apparently Em took the last of the Pop Tarts this morning. She got pissed... you know how she is when she's hungry... jumped on his back and tried to choke him out!'

Angela starts laughing hysterically, 'Tell me you're joking!'

'Not even! So... Em starts spinning around, trying to get her off and she finally loses her grip and lets go, but she can't get in control of herself so she goes barreling towards the back door...'

Angela is now crying, she's laughing so hard.

'Of course, my luck being what it is, I pick that exact moment to open the door and I'm fucking tackled to the ground before I can even step a foot inside!! And that, my dear, is why there's dirt on my back.

The end.'

His story finished, J turns around to look at Angela to find her with her head in her hands and her body shaking with silent laughter. His face turns serious, 'Angie... are you okay?'

Angela looks up and she still has tears streaming down her face, but her smile is still there, 'Yes...I'm totally okay! Oh my gosh, J... that's one of the best Bella stories ever! Did Em tell you this?'

J relaxes and smiles, 'Nah... that's all Seth.'

'Awww... I love that kid.'

Throughout J's story, Alice and I have been silent, watching the whole spectacle. It was rather entertaining, which is saying something, considering we don't even know the parties involved.

Angela notices our silence and apologizes, 'Guys, I'm so sorry that you had to listen to all of that. I swear, if you knew them, you'd be laughing just as hard.'

'Well then, I can't wait to meet them!' Alice says for the both of us.

J nods, 'You'll love them. Everybody loves them. Even the teachers love them. They just don't love each other.'

Angela smacks him arm, 'They do too! They just annoy the shit out of each other, that's all.' She looks back at us, 'There really isn't a dull moment when the two of them are in a room together.'

'So you guys have been friends for a while?' I ask.

J nods again, 'Yup... our whole lives. Well... I've only known Angie since kindergarten, but yeah... a while.'

'That's really nice that you guys are so close. We've never really been anywhere long enough to make decent friends, you know?' I'm the only one who catches the hint of sadness in Alice's voice as she says this.

'Well you're here now, we'll help you make up for lost time!' Angela offers to her.

'Hells yeah!' J adds, 'The more the merrier!!'

Alice does her little hand clap, 'Yay!! Friends!!'

'So... is there no teacher for this class?' I ask, just noticing that there doesn't seem to be an authority figure in the room.

'First day of school.' Angela and J say together.

'JINX!' Angela whoops in victory, 'I totally win that one!!'

'Fine, fine...' J concedes, '...what do you want?'

'Hmmm... I think I'll let you buy my lunch today.' she says to him smugly.

He gives her a little bow, 'Your wish, my command.'

Angela blushes a little and turns back to me, 'To answer your question: Yes, there is a teacher for this class. The assembly ran long this morning. Even though second period is a lost cause, they wanted us to come here anyway to keep us busy until third.' She pauses, then adds, 'They're probably still in the auditorium, taking turns talking about what they did during summer vacation.'

The bell rings and students start heading out, chatting idly.

'What's everyone's next class?' J asks.

'Algebra...' I start.

'... two.' Alice finishes.

'Sweet!' he smiles, 'That's where I'm heading. Angie?'

'I have history this period.' she sounds disappointed.

J frowns, 'Oh man...that sucks. I'll see you at lunch though, right?'

She looks as him as if he's crazy, 'Um..yeah. You're buying my lunch, remember?'

He smiles widely at her, 'Cool...I'll see you then.'

Angela looks back to us, 'I leave you in J's capable hands. I'll see you both at lunch, hopefully, if not before.'

We part ways with Angela and follow J towards our next class. As we walk though the halls, J says hello to nearly everyone he passes. As per usual, everyone looks at us with questions on their faces. The questions being, 'Who are they?' - 'Where did they come from?' - 'How do they know J?' Alice and I give our obligatory smiles, but don't say anything to anyone.

'J! Hey man!' a kid shouts as we pass.

Maybe 'kid' is the wrong word to use. He's nearly as tall as I am. He's not big, but he's not scrawny by any means. He's got shaggy, dark hair and a very friendly face.

J actually stops walking to talk to him, 'Hey kid.. how's it going so far?'

The kid exhales dramatically, 'I think I'm lost.'

J just chuckles and asks, 'Where are you trying to get to?'

'English?'

'Easy... you just keep going the direction you were going and turn left.' J smiles at him.

'Oh great... thanks J!' the kid says gratefully and then notices Alice and me.

'Shit... sorry. Kid, this is Alice and Edward Cullen. Alice and Edward, this is Seth... aka, the kid.'

The kid, Seth, smiles warmly, 'Nice to meet you, both! Welcome to Forks!'

Alice and I both smile and offer our hellos.

'Well kid, we have to get to class... good luck and we'll catch you at lunch.' J says, leading us away.

'Sure thing, J... and thanks again.' Seth calls after us.

'I love that kid.' J says as we're walking. 'Really... the whole family is awesome. Even their parents are cool.'

Alice face brightens up, 'He's the one who told you about his brother and sister this morning, right?'

J nods, 'The very same.'

'Wait... isn't he a freshman?' Alice looks confused.

J nods again, 'Yup.'

'Well then how did he know we were new? He welcomed us to Forks.'

'Our group is pretty tight. Seth knows all of his brother's and sister's friends. He didn't know you, so he knew you were new.'

'Ah... I see...' Alice says, '...it really is nice that you're all so close.'

J seems to think about this before responding, 'For the most part, yeah. It's really cool knowing that people have your back, but say goodbye to privacy.'

I finally speak up, 'I hear ya, man. Try having a twin and two other siblings in your business 24/7.'

Alice punches me in the arm and J laughs, 'You have quite the temper, don't you?'

'What can I say?' Alice shrugs and smiles, 'He knows how to push my buttons.'

'Yup,' J grins at her, 'You guys are going to fit right in.'

We arrive at our classroom and find seats close together. While Alice asks J about the school and the town, my mind wanders. I think about how different this school is from all of the others we've been too. Most of them were twice the size of this one. It was easy for us to get lost in the crowd. That's not going to be an option here.

Here everyone is going to know everything about us, probably before the week is out. I suppose that's a good thing. Maybe that means that the awkward stares won't last as long. Maybe that means everyone will get over our 'newness' sooner. Eh...one can hope, right?

'Hello everyone. Welcome to algebra two...' the teacher announces as she enters the room, '...for those of you not familiar, my name is Ms. Jones.'

As she starts to check attendance, I glance at the clock, which is unnecessary since the class just started. A few more minutes tick by and I find myself thinking of the beautiful girl again. I hope I have at least one class with her, if only so I can learn her real name.

Oh who am I kidding? I just want to look at her again.


	4. Astro

**Astro**

Author's Note and Disclaimer:

Thank you so much to everyone who's been reading, or has signed up for update alerts, or has added me this to their favorite stories list…it's really very flattering. It also lets me know that I'm apparently doing something right. *lol*

Amanda, I'm only this funny because YOU'RE so very funny…furrurl.

Most character names and all song titles and lyrics do NOT belong to me; they are the property of Stephenie Meyer and The White Stripes respectively.

Thank you, again!!

Chapter 4

**BELLA**

Edward. His name is Edward.

This is pretty much the only coherent thought I've had since leaving the auditorium.

The name came courtesy of the spiky-haired girl he was sitting with. If Mikey's details were correct, that would've been his sister... not a girlfriend. I smile to myself.

Um... earth to Bella... you have a boyfriend. Oh yeah... I do, don't I? Funny, I had totally forgotten about James. I'm a horrible girlfriend. I never even texted him back from earlier and it's already third period. I dig through my bag for my cell. I have a message, not from James though, from Emmett.

- _BALLS!!!_

I really don't think he's matured past the age of thirteen.

- yes emmers?

No use in even putting my phone away. He'll respond in a matter of...

- _im in trouble._

- what happened?

- _you promise not to laugh?_

- no.

- _fair enough. i think im in love._

He's so dramatic. He wasn't kidding during his speech when he said that Jess Stanley breaking up with him was a bad time. He made me help craft at least a dozen notes, asking her to take him back. In the end, she never got any of them. I convinced him she wasn't worth it. Nothing against Jess, my brother just deserves better.

- _bella?_

Huh? He never calls me Bella unless our parents are around.

- okay... i'll bite. who is she?

- _rosalie hale. isnt that a perfect name?_

- she new?

- _yes. shes HOT!_

- blonde, curly hair?

- _youve seen her?!?!?!_

- no. mikey told me about some gorgeous blondes earlier.

- _i love her. what do i do?_

- introduce yourself?

- _what do i say?_

- how about - 'hi, i'm emmett swan.'

- _then what?_

- you have a conversation with her, emmers.

- _what if she doesnt like me?_

- then she obviously has half a brain.

- _im serious._

- so am i.

- _:o(_

Oh gheez, first my real name and now a frowny face? He must really have it bad this time. I decide to go for the 'sister of the year' award.

- em... everyone likes you. if she doesn't then she's not worth your time. worry not.

- _thanks, balls. lunch is on me!_

- good luck.

I put my cell away. What was I even doing before I pulled it out? Oh yeah. Edward. His name is Edward.

Edward is tall. Edward has fantastic copper hair. Edward has the most vibrant green eyes I've ever seen. Edward has a great nose. Edward has a delectable looking mouth.

Edward. Is. Beautiful.

Bella. Is. Crazy. Really, I am. I shake my head, hoping to clear it a little and try to focus on the teacher. English is good. English is the language I speak. Edward speaks English.

Ugh! I'm hopeless right now. I've seen cute guys before, I have. Hell...James is pretty damn cute!! I groan to myself when I realize I never texted him. I start to pull out my cell, but the bells rings for fourth period. I collect my things and make my way to world history. I'm barely out of the classroom when someone grabs me and pulls me into their arms. I start to struggle.

I hear James' voice, 'Calm down, babe!'

I relax a bit and look up at him, 'A little warning would be nice. You know I don't like being grabbed like that.'

He lets go of me, 'Sorry.'

He's not sorry, so I decide to be a bitch, 'Want to explain why you left me this morning? And don't you dare give me the shitty excuse of not wanting to be late!'

He rolls his eyes at me for the second time today, 'Bella, how long have you known me?! You know I don't like being late. You obviously didn't have any problem getting here. I don't see the issue.'

'The issue is that you had no way of knowing whether or not I would walk out of the house with my keys. I could've locked the door on my way out and I would've been screwed!'

'Then you would've used the spare key hidden in the flower pot to go back in to get your truck key.' he says matter-of-factly.

I take a deep breath, 'So... let me get this straight. It's okay that you left me, because even if I walked out of the house without my keys, I still would've been able to get back in the house to get them. Therefore, I shouldn't be angry with you?'

'Exactly!' he smiles as if he's relieved I finally understand his logic.

I don't say a word as I step around him to go to class. I don't want to be late after all.

'Bella.' he calls after me, but I keep walking. I'm in no mood to deal with him right now.

I'm nearly to history, when something massive bumps into me. I turn around and see that it wasn't some-THING, but some-ONE.

'Balls, give me a pencil.' Emmett demands.

'Seriously, why is it you never have a pencil?' I ask as I search my bag for an extra one.

He shrugs, 'I dunno, I guess I just know that you'll always hook me up.'

'Here you go, ' I hand one to him, 'try not to lose this one for at least a couple days. How'd it go?'

'Thanks! Uh, how'd what go?' he looks confused.

I roll my eyes, 'The girl, Em. Did you talk to her?'

'Well no...' he says as if it's obvious, '...I haven't even seen her.'

Now I'm the one confused, 'Wait, I thought you had last period with her and that's why you were asking for help.'

'Nah, I just saw her this morning at the assembly. I'm hoping I get lucky later and she'll be in one of my classes.'

I can't believe him, 'So you've only seen her once and you haven't even spoken to her, but you're in love.'

'True. On all counts.' he grins at me, 'Later Balls, thanks.'

I let out a deep sigh as I watch him walk away. Oh that brother of mine.

The remainder of my journey to class goes uninterrupted. Unfortunately, by the time I get there, only two empty desks are left and they're in the back row. I go grab one and then start fishing a notebook out of my bag. A slight hush falls over the room and I look to see what's caused it. There, in the doorway, is the spiky-haired girl I saw earlier with Copperhead... er, Edward.

She is a sight to be seen because, other than the hair, she's wearing a short, black leather jacket, a black top, a black and grey striped bubble skirt, black calf-length tights with ruffles around the bottom and ankle boots complete with bows on the back of them.

She's pretty much the most adorable thing I've ever seen. And she's so tiny that I half expect her to sprout wings and flutter off to hang out with her woodland friends. Instead though, she spots the open seat next to me and heads over.

Once she sits down, she pulls her cell out and shoots off a quick text then puts it away. Well, since we're going to be sitting next to each other for the foreseeable future, I might as well introduce myself.

'Hi. I'm Bella.' I say as friendly as I can muster.

The girl looks at me and I'm stricken by her vibrant green eyes. I've only ever seen one other person with eyes like that. They're actually kind of dazzling. Besides the eyes, her nose is beautifully straight and in perfect proportion to the test of her features. Her lips are also lovely and are currently formed into a smile as she returns my greeting.

'I'm Alice!'

Her voice is even cute. She speaks again...

'Well, Mary Alice Cullen, to be precise. My family just calls me Alice, except for Jasper, who calls me Mary Alice, but he's the only exception really. My brother calls me Al, but not all of the time.'

I'm trying to process the information she's just given me, but she starts talking again...

'Bella. That's a pretty name. It's Italian for 'beautiful' right? You're so pretty, it makes perfect sense. Are you Italian? My stepmother is half Italian. My Granny Cullen claims that her mother was Italian, but I think she was just saying that.'

'Alice.' I finally say.

'Yes?' she smiles brightly.

I smile back at her, 'Breathe.'

Her smile gets even bigger, 'My brother's always telling me to breathe. I don't know why I ramble so much when I'm nervous. It's kind of embarrassing.'

'I know what you mean. I do that kind of thing all the time.' I ramble a bit to make her feel comfortable, 'My full name is actually Isabella Marie Swan. Most people just call me Bella or Bells. My older brother calls me 'Balls'. A very select few call me Isabella. Oh...and I think you inferred I was pretty...thank you.'

'Wait a second. Bella. Older brother Em, younger brother Seth?' she asks.

How does she know that? 'Um, yeah.'

Alice starts laughing hysterically, then she shouts, 'POP TARTS!'

When I give her a puzzled look, she goes on, 'Oh my gosh! That was him this morning at the assembly. Emmett, right? When he said he had delicious Pop Tarts? I can't believe it didn't dawn on me earlier!'

I feel my face turn red, 'Oh no! How did you hear about that?'

Through her laughter, she explains, 'We have English with J and Angela second period. When Angela asked J how he managed to get dirt all over his back, he told us the story. Apparently he heard it from Seth.'

I throw my hands up in the hair, 'That kid'll tell anybody anything!'

'Oh please don't be mad. I'm only laughing now because I have a complete visual of the whole thing. Emmett looks like such a big guy and you're pretty small. Just the thought of you on his back, trying to choke him...' Alice stops talking and continues her giggling.

'Yeah... well... that mother fucker took my Pop Tarts. I'm still hungry.' I say and as if to prove my point, my stomach growls.

She straightens her face somewhat, 'At least lunch is soon, right?'

'Yup, right after this class!' I smile in anticipation.

'So,' I try to get the subject off of me, 'you have brothers and a sister, right?'

'Yes. Edward is my brother, my twin, actually. Jasper and Rosalie are my step brother and sister. They're twins as well.' she explains.

Before I can stop myself, I chuckle and sing, 'Maybe Jasper does the Astro, Astro!'

Alice looks at me as if I've lost my mind, 'Excuse me?'

'Sorry... I couldn't help it. It's a song by The White Stripes. I love Jack White. It's my thing.'

'Ah, gotcha!' she says smiling again.

'Wait, did you say you're a twin and that your step brother and sister are twins, too?' I ask, sure that I didn't hear her right.

'Yup!' she smiles proudly.

I'm fascinated, 'How does that even happen?'

She opens her mouth to answer, but the teacher chooses this moment to make his appearance, 'Hello class, good to have you here! My name is Mr. Grantham and we will be taking this journey through history together.'

As he starts to check attendance, Alice whispers, 'By the way, you're coming shopping with us tonight.'

I start to ask when this plan was formed, but I hear my name called.

'Present.' I say.

The teacher asks the inevitable, 'You're Emmett's sister, right?'

I've been asked this by nearly every one of my teachers since third grade, but I still smile sweetly, 'Yes, sir.'

He looks at me as if he's sizing me up, 'I hope you're not going to be the handful that he was.'

I feel myself go a little red, but again my smile stays sweet, 'Not at all, sir.'

He chuckles and moves on to the next student on his list. I hate blushing! It normally only happens now when I'm embarrassed about something. I've pretty much learned to control it when I'm angry or when someone pays me a nice compliment, there are always exceptions though.

Alice and I don't get a chance to talk much during class, but once the bell rings we pick up where we left off.

As we prepare to leave the classroom I ask, 'Alice, when did I agree to go shopping with you tonight?'

'Oh you didn't!' she smiles, 'Angela agreed for you earlier.'

Well that makes sense, 'Ah... that sounds like something she'd do.'

She turns to me, 'I have to go find my brothers and sister. See you soon?'

'Sure thing.' I wave goodbye as we part ways.

After stashing my books in my locker, I head to the cafeteria. I see Emmett in line already with James, so I go to join them.

'You still getting my lunch, Em?' I ask after cutting in front of him.

'Yeppers. Anything you want.' he offers.

James comes to stand next to me and takes my hand, 'Bells, I don't want to fight with you anymore.'

I tilt my head and look at him, 'Well if you weren't such a douche, we wouldn't fight.'

I hear Emmett snort and say under his breath, 'Ooh sick burn.'

James looks kind of hurt, but it's not my fault that he can't handle the truth. I decide to ease up a little though, 'James, I don't want to dwell; I just want to fucking eat, okay?'

He nods and leaves the conversation at that, thankfully. I start putting food on my plate. Chicken salad sandwich? Check. Tater Tots? Check. Fruit Cup? Check. Chocolate Milk? Check.

'You sure that's all you want, Balls?' Emmett sounds concerned. He's got twice as much as I do on his tray and _HE_ actually had breakfast.

I appraise my food, 'Yeah. I think I'm good. Maybe I'll take a candy bar afterwards, but I'm cool for now.'

'Sweet!' he pays for the food while I head to our table with James.

Angela and Eric are there already.

James and I sit down across from them, 'Hey Eric.' I nod, acknowledging him, before looking at Angela, 'Where's J?'

She looks kind of bewildered, 'I'm not sure. He should be here; he's supposed to buy my lunch.'

'I'll get it for you, Angie.' Eric offers getting up.

'No, J said he would. You can go ahead and get a tray if you want.' she says without really looking at him. 'And please don't call me Angie.'

Eric just nods and heads off to stand in line. Part of me feels bad for him, but he knew what he was getting himself into when he asked her out.

'Finally!' Angela exclaims when she sees J walk in before getting up to meet him in line.

Emmett plops down next to me, looking a bit shell-shocked.

I frown at him, 'What's wrong?'

'It's her. In line with J. It's her.' he's totally shaken.

'It's who? Angela?'

He looks at me as if I'm crazy, 'The girl, Balls!'

I look over to where J is standing with Angela. Not only is Mikey with them, but there are two extra people I've never seen before. One guy, one girl, both blonde.

The guy is tall and lean. He's very reminiscent of Brad Pitt circa Thelma and Louise. His hair is quite glorious. It's a lovely golden color and more wavy than curly. I take this to be Jasper.

The girl, who I can only assume is Rosalie, is very striking. Leave it to Emmett to find the most modelesque girl in the school to lust after. Her hair is the same shade as her twin's, but it's longer and curlier. If I didn't know she was a new student here, I would be wondering why a Victoria's Secret Angel is hanging out in our cafeteria.

'Stop staring, Balls!' Emmett hisses at me.

'I'm not. I was just trying to get Mikey's attention.' I lie.

'Why?'

'You want them to sit here, don't you?'

'Oh...' he looks nauseous, '...I guess?'

This can't be my brother. Something's wrong with him. He seems nervous. He's never nervous.

'She's not _THAT_ pretty.' James says from out of nowhere.

Emmett leans forward to look around me and sneer at him. I swear I hear a growl.

James immediately looks down at his food, 'Hey man, I'm just saying.'

When Emmett looks back to me, his face softens a little, 'Bells will you?'

I take pity on him, 'Sure thing, Emmers!' I squeeze his cheek as I get up and walk over to where Angela, J, Mikey and the wonder twins are standing.

Mikey spots me coming before the rest of them, 'ISABELLA!! I was just talking about you!!'

Pretty much everyone within ear shot is now looking at us. I just wave at everyone stupidly and give an unenthused, 'Oh yeah. Bella Swan here. In the flesh. Be amazed.'

Everyone laughs, save for a few people who look kind of confused. Mikey, on the other hand, rolls his eyes at me, 'Honestly Isabella!'

I throw my hands up in exasperation, 'You put me on the spot. Was I supposed to fucking curtsy or something?'

'Anyway...' he ignores me and gestures to the wonder twins, who have been laughing at our banter, '...Isabella, this is Jasper and Rosalie Hale. Jazz, Rose, this is Isabella Swan.'

I suppress a groan and smile at them both, 'It's Bella, actually. Very nice to meet you.'

Jasper is the first to talk, 'Bella, I'm afraid that Mikey's told us quite a lot about you. I must say, he scarcely did your beauty justice.'

I think I detect a little bit of a southern accent in his speaking and against my will, I blush. Sure, I'm immune to the perfunctory compliments that most people offer, but this guy is quite attractive, southern and better yet, he seems sincere.

'Awww, thank you.'

His sister now takes the opportunity to speak, 'He's not kidding, Bella. I think we know your favorite color, your shoe size, your first kiss and the way you take your coffee by now.'

Oddly enough, she doesn't have an accent, but still I blush even more and Mikey squeals, 'See guys? Didn't I tell you she blushes when she's embarrassed?'

Attempting to get back to the reason I walked over, 'So, I just wanted to make sure that you invited your new friends to sit with us, Mikey.'

'Of course I did, Isabella. I'm not rude.' he says in a fake outraged tone.

'Great. I'll just go back over and make sure there's room for everyone.' I turn and walk away before I'm embarrassed any further.

I get back to the table to find a spiky-haired pixie sitting in my seat next to Emmett. I stride up behind them and look for my food.

Emmett sees me lurking, 'Oh Balls, I moved your food over there.' He points to the side of the table opposite him, 'I wanted to get better acquainted with my wee friend here.'

Alice looks at me apologetically, 'Sorry Bella, I didn't want to take your seat. He insisted.'

I smile at her, 'No worries, man. So long as I get to eat, I'm good.'

I go to the other side of the table. I pick up my tray to move beside James, but I see that he's in deep conversation with Eric, so I decide to stay put.

Emmett is grilling Alice about her family, 'So Tiny, where did you live before San Diego?'

'Jacksonville,' she answers, 'and before that...'

I tune out as I dig into my sandwich. When Angela and J arrive at the table, she takes a place beside Eric and J sits next to her, which is also next to me.

J bumps his shoulder into mine, 'Hey Bells. I feel like I haven't seen you in forever.'

'Hhhhuuua Jaaa,' I reply, because my mouth is full. He smiles and practically dives into his own food.

'Balls, did you... um... take care of that thing for me?' Emmett asks with a hopeful look on his face.

'Uhhhhuuuuh,' I nod.

'Alice,' I hear Angela say, 'I'd like to introduce you to my boyfriend Eric.'

I glance at Alice and she looks confused. For a moment as she looks from Angela, to J, back to Angela, before she flashes a smile at Eric, 'Good to meet you, Eric.'

I can't hear what Eric says, nor do I care, I'm focused on my tater tots.

'Rose, you can sit right there next to the big guy. Don't worry, he won't hurt you!' I hear Mikey practically yelling.

I look up at Emmett and he looks scared. My mouth is full, so I can't offer wise words, I just try to communicate with my eyes that everything will be okay. He seems to get the message, because he relaxes just a little. Two seconds later, Rosalie sits down next to him.

Mikey sits down on Rosalie's other side and, still yelling, introduces them, 'Big guy, this is Rosalie Hale. Rose, this is the big guy or Emmett, if you prefer.'

Emmett attempts to say hello and I swear he goes full on Peter Brady, 'Hi...' he squeaks and then recovers, '...um... hi. Nice to meet you, Rosalie.'

If it's possible, she's even prettier when she smiles, 'Nice to meet you too!'

'And this is Jasper!' Mikey says, yelling again.

Emmett tears his eyes of Rosalie long enough to nod in Jasper's direction, 'Hey man.'

Jasper, who's taken the seat across from Mikey waves, 'Oh hey, Emmett! So nice to meet you!'

Huh...maybe Jasper really DOES do the astro, astro.

Before I can think about this too much, J asks, 'Bells, where's the kid?'

I shrug, but Alice answers, 'He's getting food with Edward.'

'Stop talking about me, Al.' I hear a smooth, yet gravelly and very nice voice say.

Edward walks up to the table with Seth and places a tray in front of Alice. He starts to sit next to her, but she stops him, 'Can Seth sit here? I want to ask him about something.'

'Uh, sure. Seth, have at it.' he says and steps back.

The kid kind of blushes and takes the seat next to Alice.

'Oh Eddie...over here!!' Jasper waves him over, indicating the last available seat.

Edward walks over and takes the seat next to Jasper, which also happens to be the seat to my left.

'Eddie, have you met Bella?' Jasper asks him.

'No, I can say that I have.' he answers him tightly.

Jasper nudges his shoulder, 'Well say hello, silly!'

Edward turns to me, 'Hello. I'm Edward Cullen.'

I smile and attempt to act like he's not the most beautiful boy I've ever seen, 'Bella Swan. Good to meet you, Edward Cullen.'

Edward Cullen. His name is Edward Cullen and he's sitting right next to me.

*****NOTE:**

Some people believe that the song 'Astro' refers to bisexuality. For the purpose of my story, that's the meaning I'm going with.

Apparently someone heard Jack White say in an interview that 'the Astro' is just a dance that you do when no one is watching. This could be true, as this song is uber-fun to do a silly dance to. But the true meaning remains a mystery to everyone except Mr. Jack White (aka: God's Gift).

Oh…and if no one has caught on by now, the title of the story and all of the chapters names are song titles of either The White Stripes, The Raconteurs or The Dead Weather. Amanda wanted me to tell everyone. She also wanted me to urge everyone to check out these bands. They are fantastic… they are amazing… they all involve Jack White, who, by the way, is better than sliced bread. I LOVE YOU, JACK WHITE!!


	5. When I Hear My Name

Author's Note and Disclaimer:

Amanda... you my boy! Okay...you're not a boy, you're a girl, but 'you my boy' is more fun for me to say, so deal with it!! WINKIE FACE!!

Also...due to a special request from SarahxEmmett, and because she digs my taste in music, the apostrophes have all been updated to quotations. Sarah, my beta thought the same thing, but she failed to mention it to me. In fairness to her though, she just looked over it because she's used to it from me. It's just how I do. :o) Thank you for the positive feedback!!

Again, most character names and all song titles do NOT belong to me, they are the property of Stephenie Meyer and The White Stripes respectively.

Thank you all so much and I hope you guys keep enjoying the story!!

**When I Hear My Name**

Chapter 5

**EDWARD**

"Bella Swan. Good to meet you, Edward Cullen." the beautiful girl says in her equally beautiful voice.

I don't think my name has ever sounded so good. No... I know my name has never sounded so good.

Here she is. The girl I've been obsessing about all morning. Am I staring? I'm probably staring. Should I say something else? I should say something else. I open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes to mind. I need to say something though. It's the only way she'll say something back. Before I can think of anything she turns her attention back to the food in front of her and the moment is lost.

"Hey man, I'm Emmett Swan." there's a hand in front of me, waiting to be shook. I take it and introduce myself to him as well.

He releases my hand, "So, you guys are all brothers and sisters?"

Rosalie and Alice both nod and open their mouths for further explanation, but Jasper beats them both, "You are correct, big guy! Rose and I are twins, as are Alice and Eddie." he pauses for a moment before flicking his wrists and adding, "Isn't that just perfect?"

I cringe a little at the use of my nickname. Jasper knows how much I dislike it. I'm not sure if he's still getting back at me for messing with Alice earlier, or if he's just getting back at me for asking him to be my boyfriend in the first place. Whatever his reason, it's clear that he's fully committing himself to the role I've asked him to play.

Emmett's been staring at Jasper, not quite sure how to respond. He gives it a try though, "Uhh yeah, I guess. How did your parents meet?"

Again, Jasper is the first to answer, "Oh my gosh, that's a fantastic story!"

Instantly I tense up, "Jasper, let's not bore everyone."

"Nonsense, Eddie, they'll be anything but bored!" he says, smacking my arm playfully.

I look to Rosalie and Alice for some sort of assistance, but they're both wearing similar looks of amusement. Fucking traitors.

"Well, Rose and I were living in South Carolina with our mom. That's where we're originally from. Anyhow one day I was studying at this little café a few blocks from where we lived. It had started raining... like total downpour raining. I heard the bell above the door ring and looked up as any nosy person would do and standing there, soaking wet, was this guy." he pauses to give my arm a squeeze, "He looked so upset, so I asked him what was wrong. The poor thing had gotten lost. I asked him where he lived and it turned out he had just moved one street away from me! It was like it was meant to be. Ever since then, we've seen each other pretty much every day."

Throughout his story, the entire table has gone quiet and is now listening to him rather intently. Jasper, though normally very stoic, is a great story teller when he chooses to be. Of course, the silence could be due to the fact that he just revealed our 'relationship' rather nonchalantly.

It's Seth who breaks the silence, "So, um... how did your parents meet?"

"Oh... well since Eddie and I were hanging out so much, mom and Carlisle thought it would be a good idea to meet one another. I'm not exaggerating when I say that the first time they met we all knew they were meant to be together forever!"

Jasper glances at Alice when he says this, but not noticeably. This is actually their story he's been telling. The day they met, everything changed... for everyone. Once Dad realized that Al was spending all of her free time at Jasper's house, he insisted on meeting his mother. A dinner was arranged for our birthday and Jasper and his family were invited. The second he and Esme shook hands we all knew something monumental was happening. Two weeks later, Dad told us he was being transferred to a naval base in Mississippi. Three weeks later, they were married. The strange thing is that none of us questioned it. It was just how it was supposed to be.

J's the one to break the silence this time, "Wow, so you weren't kidding when you said you guys are like the Brady bunch!"

Everyone at the table chuckles and goes back to their lunch and individual conversations. Jasper is talking to Mike and trying not to look at Alice too much. Alice is talking to Seth, J and Angela... trying not to look at Jasper too much. Rosalie and Emmett are totally immersed in each other. He's asking about her favorite sports and she's asking about his favorite cars. Even the two guys at the end of the table are speaking animatedly. In fact the only people not talking are myself and...

"So, are you like the quiet one in the family?" a soft voice asks from beside me.

I look to my right and I'm instantly lost in those brown eyes again. Somehow I manage to speak, "Believe it or not, Jasper's usually the quite one."

"I find that very hard to believe," she laughs and it's one of the loveliest sounds I've ever heard.

I smile at her, "It's true! He's so quiet at home. When he gets in front of a crowd though, watch out!"

She graces me with another laugh, "He'll fit right in here. This gang of jokers never shuts up. Em especially."

Em? Bella… Bells? Oh my gosh. _SHE'S_ the one who was upset about her Pop Tarts. No wonder she sounded so bitter this morning. I chuckle a little.

"What? What's funny?" she asks with a slight smile on her lips.

Uh-oh… probably not a good idea to mention her morning exploits, "Nothing."

She cocks her head at me and raises one of her perfect eyebrows, "Tell me."

Here goes, "Well, J was telling Alice and me earlier about how you nearly choked your brother out."

She signs deeply and turns to elbow J in the ribs.

J yelps, "Fuck Bells, what was that for?"

"Oh you know what it's for!!" she snaps at him.

I can tell by his face that he clearly does NOT know what it's for, but he apologizes anyway, "Sorry."

She turns back around to me, "In my defense, he deserved it. I was there first. He totally pushed me out of the way and grabbed the box. The whole thing would've been avoided had mom made us ALL bacon and eggs this morning."

"Mom made bacon and eggs this morning?!?" Emmett asks, breaking out of his conversation with Rosalie.

Bella's eyes flash to Seth for a split second in panic and then she seems to recover, "Um… no asshole. I was thinking about Kevin Bacon's legs this morning. I was listening to Footloose. You know, when I was driving MYSELF to school."

Emmett looks away guiltily and resumes his conversation with Rosalie.

Bella leans over to whisper in my ear, "He's a bigger baby than I am when it comes to food. I hate to see what he would've done to me if I had..." she pauses, "Are you okay?"

_AM_ I okay? I'm not quite sure. My whole body is suddenly covered in goose bumps. This has never happened before and I'm sure Bella Swan is responsible for it. She asked me a question, didn't she?

"Yeah, I'm good. Thanks." I manage to say. I try to keep the conversation going, "So, have you lived here your whole life?"

"Yup. My life is a boring one." she smiles as she says this, as if she's totally content with her 'boring' life. "When your dad is the police chief, it kind of limits the amount of fun you can have. J's dad is an officer too, so he sympathizes."

"And Angela?" I ask nodding in her general direction.

Bella leans over as if to share a great secret, "Ah, well we tricked her into being our friend during kindergarten. She'll never escape us now. Besides, if she were to try I'd have old Papa Swan toss her in jail until she rethinks that decision."

I lean a little closer to her, "That's quite the diabolical plan you have there, Bella."

She winks at me and puts her finger up to her mouth, "Shhh..."

I laugh at her and make like I'm zipping my lips. She smiles and goes back to her food, as do I.

The rest of lunch passes all too quickly. As the bell rings everyone gets up and heads to their next class. I notice that Bella walks over to one of the guys who were sitting at the end of our table. I'm pretty sure I saw him this morning at the assembly, but his name escapes me now. They seem to exchange a few words and she eventually walks away with an indifferent expression on her face. Eh... none of my business, right? I head to biology.

As soon as I walk in the room I thank whatever lucky stars I have. Bella Swan is in this class, and there's an empty seat beside her. She's fiddling with her iPod, so she doesn't see me as I make my way over.

"Are you stalking me?" I ask her.

Her head snaps up and she graces me with a smile, "You got me. Sorry, I stole a look at your schedule while you were feasting on tater tots. Sneaky, I know, but it was necessary to my cause."

I laugh and point to the empty seat, "Okay if I sit here?"

She seems to think about it for a few seconds, "Well, I suppose it would aid in my stalking, so why not?"

"Very sound thinking, Ms. Swan."

She looks very smug, "Yeah, I'm pretty much a genius. Try not to be intimidated."

"I'll do my best." I promise.

As the teacher, Mr. Banner, starts greeting everyone, I think of a question I've had since this morning. I pull out a piece of paper and write three words and pass it to Bella.

"The Dead Weather?"

She glances at me and gives me the biggest smile yet. She writes quickly and passes it back to me.

"_YOU KNOW THEM?"_

When I look at her she has the most hopeful expression on her face. I shake my head no and her face drops a little. She starts writing again.

"_How do you feel about Jack White?"_

I take the paper back for a moment.

"The White Stripes? He dated Renée Zellweger, right?"

She actually groans out loud when she reads my comment, then she starts writing again, this time longer.

"_Please don't use the 'r' word... __ever__. Anyway, he's not just in The White Stripes. He's a member of The Raconteurs and The Dead Weather. Angela and I saw them in concert this summer, they're amazing. He's amazing."_

Her excitement is practically palpable right now.

"Sorry… I only know The White Stripes."

She shakes her head before she writes back and I'm kind of nervous to read what she's written.

"_That is something we shall have to remedy."_

I look over to see that hopeful expression of hers back in place. I smile and nod, before whispering, "Definitely!"

She smiles back and puts the note away, before we turn our attention back to Mr. Banner.

Before I know it, the bells rings and class is over. I start packing my things back into my bag and I notice that Bella is waiting for me.

"Gheez, Cullen, hurry the fuck up!" she says playfully.

"Don't boss me, Swan!" I reply.

She laughs and then her face kind of goes serious, "So, you and Jasper... you're pretty close, huh?"

Wow, how did we get on this topic, "Yeah, we are and have been for a while."

She turns and we start walking out of the room, "I just wanted to give you the heads up. Mikey's on the prowl, I think. He doesn't really get a chance to be around other lovers of the rainbow, so he's pretty overwhelmed right now."

Ah, she's warning me, how sweet of her. How do I explain that it's not really something I'm worried about?

"Oh I think Jasper is just as excited to have someone to pal around with. He's so used to being around just the girls. And me, of course." I attempt a giggle, "Same difference, I suppose."

She cocks her head at me, "I wouldn't say you're girly, Edward."

"Well thanks, that's what I keep telling Jasper, but he doesn't seem to listen." I joke.

She laughs and we continue walking in what seems to be companionable silence. She slows to a stop when we get to the math hall.

"This is me. Algebra." she says.

I try to hide my disappointment, "I've got history."

"Oh, have fun taking that journey." she laughs.

"Excuse me?" I ask, confused.

She just smiles, "You'll see." She turns and walks away.

I'm left standing in the hallway alone, staring at her back... which is pretty hot too, what with the way her hair hangs down and comes to an end about six inches above her ass. Man that's a nice ass. I shake myself out of perv mode and continue on to history.

I look around for a familiar face when I get there, but come up empty. Oh well. I take a seat a wait for class to start. A few moments later the teacher walks in, "Hello class, good to have you here! My name is Mr. Grantham and we will be taking this journey through history together."

So that's what she meant. I chuckle to myself. That Bella Swan is a funny girl.

This day is certainly shaping up to be more interesting than I thought it would. I was counting on a drama-free year. Jasper seems dead set against allowing me to have that. In a way, I guess it's fair. His final year in high school is being spent posing as my boyfriend; I get his need to lash out. Still though, I wasn't kidding when I told Bella that he was usually the quiet one. He totally is. That's why he and Alice are so perfect together. He's able to add a little calm to her high-strung personality. Now that he's high-strung, at least for the public's benefit, she's going to be out of control. I didn't count on this.

I also didn't count on being accepted this quickly. The crowd we've fallen into seems to be pretty tight knit. From what J said this morning, the Swans are well known and well liked. And Emmett made that speech this morning. Does that mean he's the captain of the football team? I'll have to ask Rosalie later. No doubt she's found out by now.

If that's the case then we've really lucked out, socially speaking. The best part of the whole thing is that they seem to be genuinely nice people. Despite his loudness, Mikey seems to be accepted without a second thought. Seth's a freshman and there was never any question about where he was going to sit. And they allowed four new kids, who they knew nothing about, into their circle. It wasn't necessary, but I'm glad they did.

The bell rings to signal the last class of the day... gym.

I am so not looking forward to this. Under normal circumstances, I'd be all for it, but I'm not sure how I'm supposed to behave. Should I be as aggressive as I would normally be, or should I appear to be uncoordinated? I make my way to the gym. On the way, I run into Alice who's also on her way there. She notices my look of concern.

"Awwww, what's wrong, brotha?" she asks in her best, which is also her worst, Scottish accent.

"Gym." I answer simply.

Her nose crinkles in confusion, "That's silly, you like gym."

"Yes, usually. I'm supposed to be gay, remember? Not that gay guys aren't good athletes, but they're kinda few and far between. How am I supposed to act in here?" I vent to her.

"However you want to." she answers.

For some reason, the simplicity of her statement calms me.

I throw an arm around her shoulder as we continue walking, "Thanks Al. Since when did you become the voice of reason?"

She smirks at me, "Probably about the same time you thought it'd be a good idea to be gay. One of us has to act like we have the sense God gave us."

"Hey!" I give her hair a little yank, "I still have good sense."

She laughs, "Sure you do, Eddie."

"Ugh, I'mma kill your man if that shit catches on. And what the fuck happened to me being the bitch!? That's what we agreed to, damn it!"

"Oh calm down. Jasper simply stepped up when he saw that you weren't pulling your weight."

I'm still pouting, "He still could've ran it by me first."

"You're such a baby" she huffs as we walk into the gym.

It seems that my worries were for nothing, at least today. Everyone is currently lounging on the bleachers.

Our names are being called, "Alice! Edward!"

We look up to see J and Angela. Sitting next to them is Bella, fiddling with her iPod again.

Alice and I climb up to them and sit down.

"Edward man, I was starting to miss you." J says. He and I had been in classes together all morning.

"Well I'm here now, so you can relax." I say to him.

He makes a big deal out of wiping imaginary sweat off of his brow and leaning back on the bleachers, "Thank God."

Angela bumps her leg into his, "You're such a dork."

The two gym teachers make an appearance and tell us what to expect for the year. We have a week to purchase our official gym clothes. Today they're letting us slack off, but for the rest of the week we'll be playing light sports, whatever that means. After they leave everyone goes back to talking.

"So, how's everyone's day been?" Alice asks.

J and Angela start to answer at the same time and then laugh. As they take turns sharing their days with Alice, I notice that Bella's still concentrated on her iPod. I scoot closer to her.

"Whatcha doing there?" I ask.

She gives me a sideways smile, "I am working on something for you actually."

I'm slightly taken aback, "For me?"

She laughs, "Yep! All for you."

"May I ask what exactly?" I am all kinds of hopeful.

"You may." she smiles, "It's a playlist. Of Jack White songs. I'm burning you a CD tonight."

I've never had a girl want to make me a CD before. On one hand I want to express how excited I am, but on the other I feel as though I should play it cool.

I go with the latter, "And why is he so great again?"

Her eyes flash for a moment and I have a feeling she giving serious thought to slapping me. Instead she calls Angela in for assistance.

"Angela..." she waits for Angela to look at her before continuing, "...could you please tell this joker why he should never question the greatness that is Jack White?"

J's eyes widen, "Uh oh, man. What did you say?"

I shrug, "I just asked why he's so great."

J just shakes his head and Angela says, "That wasn't the smartest thing to ask, friend."

I'm so lost right now, "Okay, now tell me why."

Angela looks at Bella, "You should do it. You're more passionate than most."

Bella takes a deep breath, "He's great because he opted not to go into the seminary because he didn't think they would let him take his new amp with him. He's great because he used to have his own upholstery business, during which time he would sometimes write lyrics into some of the furniture he was restoring. He's great because he has so much faith in Meg's drumming even though she's never been properly trained. He's great because when she needed a break, he let her go and rest while he started rocking with The Raconteurs. He's great because music legends want to work with him. He's great because he can play like a billion instruments. He's great because he just is. I could seriously go on and on, but I'm gonna let his music speak for itself."

During her speech, she's turned the most delicious shade of pink. I have to admit, her rant did have an effect on me. Mentally and physically. I find myself feeling like a perv again and try to get back to the issue at hand.

"Okay, you've convinced me. Make the CD tonight and I'll gladly give it a listen."

Alice gasps, "No! Not tonight! Tonight we shop, remember?"

Bella starts to argue, but Alice is having none of that, "Nope, you're coming too, Bella! This is non negotiable."

Bella sighs, giving in, "Fine. Where? Who? How? What? When?"

Alice is puzzled, "Huh?"

Bella rolls her eyes. Not at Alice, but at the general lameness of her own response, "Where are we going? Who will be going? How are we getting there? What are we going for? When will we be home?"

We all sit there in silence, then Bella shrugs and speaks again, "What can I say? My dad's a police chief."

"Oh! Well that makes perfect sense then! I'll have the answers for you soon, love!" Alice says before pulling out her phone to text someone... probably Jasper.

I lean over to whisper in Bella's ear, "You know if you let her have her way, she'll just expect it all the time."

She seems to tense up slightly, but she nods and whispers back to me, "Trust me, I know what I'm doing."

The goose bumps are back again and I find myself unable to stop staring at her mouth. She licks her lips and I start to wonder what those lips might taste like. Before my thoughts get too carried away, Alice clears her throat.

"We're going to Port Angeles. It'll be me, you, Angela, Mikey, Rose, Jasper and Edward, for sure. We still have to iron out the driving arrangements. We're going for shopping, of course. Gym clothes at the very least. Estimated time of departure… Five o'clock? Estimated time of return… Ten? Thirty? Ish?"

Bella nods, "Sounds good, but you better give me your cell number. That way I can get instant clarification should Papa Swan need it."

We all pull our phones out and take turns swapping information. Afterwards, Alice and Angela start making a game plan of stores to hit while J keeps interrupting them just to be a pain.

I turn to Bella and nod toward her phone, which is sitting next to her, "Send me a text, make sure you have my number right!"

She smiles and picks up her phone. She types something out quickly and shuts it. About three seconds later my phone vibrates.

- _testing. testing. b-dizzle here. i'm still going to try to make you that cd tonight. no promises though. :o)_

I raise an eyebrow at her, "B-Dizzle?"

"It's my gang name." she says quite seriously.

"Oh my." I act concerned, "Are you still in this gang?"

She looks to her left and then to her right, as if making sure no one is listening, "Not anymore. I was rehabilitated and planted here by the Feds. We think there's some organized crime going on up in this piece. I'm trying to infiltrate."

"Whoa, that's some straight up '21 Jump Street' shit." I say as if I'm impressed.

"Mmmmm... Johnny Depp." she pretends to wipe drool from her mouth.

I laugh, "Alice is actually convinced he's an alien."

She seems offended by this, "Uh... why?"

"She thinks that anyone who ages that well must be some sort of alien or robot or alien robot. He's too perfect or something? I don't remember all of her reasoning."

She nods, "I can see where she's coming from."

I laugh, "Sooner or later, everyone does."

Bella opens her mouth to say something else, but just then the bell rings.

We all start to make our way down the bleachers. Alice claps, "I'm so excited. I'll be in touch to let you know the 'how', okay?"

Bella smiles at her, "Yup, sounds good."

Once we get to the parking lot we go our separate ways. Alice and I go to the Volvo go wait for Jasper and Rosalie, while Bella heads off with J to find her brothers and James? At least I think that's the name I heard. Angela goes with them to find Mikey.

It starts to drizzle a little, so Alice and I wait in the car. As soon as she has her door shut...

"What the fuck was that about?" she accuses.

"What the fuck was WHAT about?"

She's narrowing her eyes at me again, "Oh you know."

I frown, "Most times I do, but not so much now."

She rolls her eyes, "Um, how about the fact that you were totally eye-fucking Bella Swan?! Or the fact that you were damn near on top of her, before I had to step in! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE GAY, EDWARD!!"

I defend myself, "Calm the fuck down, Al! Nothing happened! You're forgetting, no one knows us, no one knows we're acting, so no one can attest to what kind of behavior is 'normal' when it comes to us. Bella Swan is just a nice girl I met today."

She turns too look out the window before saying more to herself than to me, "Yeah, and Jasper's just a boy."

"What does he have to do with this?" I ask, but she won't answer.

"Al. What the fuck did you mean by that?" Still nothing.

"Al?" I try again, nicer this time.

I jump as the back doors open and Jasper and Rosalie slip in.

"Hey you t... whoa, why does it feel so serious in here?" Rosalie asks, seeing our faces.

Alice turns to her and smiles, "It's nothing, Rose. Really."

"So..." Jasper drawls, "...how was my honey-bunny's day?"

I look at Alice and she looks at me, neither one of us sure where to begin.

I hear Jasper chuckle from the backseat, "Wow... that good, huh?"

In the end, I opt to just start the engine and drive us home.


	6. Cash Grab Complications on the Matter

Author's Note and Disclaimer:

Amanda… thank you for helping me work through this one. I'm glad I went back and edited. :o)

Character names and all song titles do NOT belong to me; they are the property of Stephenie Myer and The White Stripes respectively. The story is all mine though… I swears.

Thanks so much!

**Cash Grab Complications on the Matter**

Chapter 6

**BELLA**

"Run that by me again?"

I sigh, this is the third time my dad is making me tell him this, "I'd like to go shopping in Port Angeles with Angela, Mikey and some friends that we made today. It's just general shopping, but I figured I could swing by work to at least order new gym clothes while we're there. I plan on driving my truck. Angela and Mikey will be riding with me. We figured we'd leave around five-ish and be back before eleven."

I'm sitting at the table with my dad. He's drinking a beer and reading Guns and Ammo. This is a typical Monday in the Swan household.

Dad looks up at me from his magazine, "And who are these friends you made today?"

"The Cullens. Well, I'm not sure if they're all Cullens or not. Alice and Edward Cullen. Their dad is the new doctor. HALE! That's their step-brother and sister's last name. Rosalie and Jasper Hale. Mikey says their mom is an interior designer or something, but I'm not sure." I stop rambling.

Dad sighs, which isn't a good sign, "Bella, you can't just expect me to let you go off to Port Angeles with a bunch of kids I haven't met."

I try to reason with him, "Dad, seriously. You know Mikey and Angela. Besides, the whole group met them today and we all think they're cool. Well, James doesn't, but James never likes anyone right away."

"Why doesn't James like them, sweetie?" my mom has finally decided to join the conversation. She's been washing dishes quietly until now.

I throw my hands in the air, "Who knows? He's been a jerk today."

She scoffs at this, "What's his problem?"

"I wish I knew, Mom, really." I look back to my dad, "So?"

"Emmett met them?" he asks.

I nod, "Yes. So did Seth. So did J. They're nice, Dad."

"Well, I'll want to meet them." he says finally.

I smile, "No problem."

"Tonight." he amends.

My smile gets bigger, "They'll be here in about a half hour."

He smirks, "And Emmett goes too."

"WHAT?" my smile has totally evaporated.

"You heard me. I want your brother going too. Someone needs to look out for you."

"I can look out for myself. I'm not a little girl!" I stomp my foot, which I'm sure doesn't help my argument.

I try another angle, "Daddy, pleeeeeese. This is just supposed to be a nice fun shopping trip with the girls. Emmett hates to shop. He'll be miserable and complain the entire time. That's not fair to either of us."

He looks at me skeptically, "The girls, huh? Isabella, you just told me that two of your 'new' friends are boys."

"Well yeah, but they don't count as boys, anymore than Mikey does." I say, hoping he catches my meaning. He does.

"Ohhh. Really?" he looks shocked for a minute, "Both of them?"

I nod, "Yeah. Mikey's in heaven."

"'Bout time that kid got a break." he laughs.

Mom sits down at the table with us, "Oh how sweet! I'll have to contact their mother and invite her to lunch or something. It's hard being new in town."

Dad snorts, "Renee, you were born in Forks."

She ignores him, "Maybe she could help us redo the kitchen?"

"I still think that Emmett should go with you," Dad starts up again.

"You think I should go where?" Emmett asks, entering the kitchen.

I look at my father, "Dad, please no!"

Emmett looks at all of us, "What's going on?"

Dad turns around to look at him, "Your sister is going shopping in Port Angeles tonight. I thought you should go along."

"Fail. No way, Dad. I hate shopping." Emmett argues.

Dad sighs again, "Well then, what can you tell me about these new friends of yours?"

Emmett seems to blush a little, "They're cool. They're really cool. Nice. Funny."

Mom cocks her head at him, "Emmett, darling, are you blushing?"

"NO!" he practically shouts.

Dad starts to chuckle, "Yes, he is!"

Emmett blushes even more, "Please stop."

"Who is she, Em? Is she pretty? I bet she's pretty. What's her name? Who are her parents?" Dad could go on like this for hours.

Emmett looks at me, "Bells, please?"

I try to steer the conversation back to where it was, "So Dad, can I go? Without Emmett?"

He finally gives in, "Sure Bells, but I want the mobile phone numbers of everyone going."

"Ugh... fine." I say as I leave the kitchen and head to my room. On my way there, I text my address to Alice and tell her that they can come any time. I also text Angela and Mikey, telling them to head over as well.

I get to my room and I turn on my computer. While it's booting up, I take a look in the mirror. I'm still wearing the same shirt from earlier. Mikey will probably be wearing something different. Should I change? I debate for a few seconds before I decide. Fuck it. I'm not changing. I do run to the bathroom to brush my hair and teeth though.

By the time I return, my laptop is ready to go. I plug in my iPod and start browsing through the playlist I was working on in gym... the playlist I've decided to title 'Edward's Education.' I've made sure that it includes songs that I feel best represent Jack White's awesomeness. I wonder just how familiar he is with The White Stripes. Eh... it doesn't matter. I'll be shocked if he's heard more than three of the songs on here. In fact, the only way I'd be more shocked is of someone were to tell me that Edward is gay. Oh wait...

It had taken every bit of strength I had not to let my jaw hit the table when that little tidbit of information came to light at lunch today. That's just one thing I was not expecting. I don't even know why I was caught off guard. An insanely hot guy like that is bound to be gay or, at the very least, in a relationship. Ha... what do you know, this guy's both! Is it too much to ask for a straight guy friend who I _haven't_ known my whole life?

I actually ranted about this to Angela this afternoon. Her response was ultimately: "What does it matter, Bella? You have a boyfriend."

EXACTLY! I have a boyfriend, so why is this bothering me so much? I don't know. Maybe it's because he is so incredibly handsome. Maybe it's because he seems to have a decent sense of humor. Maybe it's because of the way he was looking at me in the auditorium. Maybe it's because his whisper in my ear earlier caused a tingle in my girlie parts. For as long as I've been with James not once has he ever caused any tingling. I wonder what that means.

"UUUGGGHHH!" I groan to myself as I look for a blank CD to use. I find one and start burning process. While that's happening, I flop back onto my bed, stare at the ceiling and think some more.

What would I do in this situation if Edward weren't gay? Well that's easy... I wouldn't do anything. I'd make friends with his sisters, he'd make friends with Emmett and the rest of the boys and that would be that. It's not like I'd disrupt the balance of everything to try to date him. Would I? Nah. At least, I _think_ I wouldn't. Eh, the point is pretty moot, so why dwell? Because I'm an idiot, that's why.

Before I can groan again my laptop dings, letting me know that the CD is finished burning. I get up to retrieve it and start writing up a list of the songs and bands on there. I add in a few personal notes as well. As I peruse the list, my bedroom door is thrown open and Mikey barges in, Angela on his heels. He takes one quick at my clothes.

"Isabella, you are not wearing the same thing that you did to school!" he sounds outraged.

"Uh, I most certainly am." I answer, "I don't have anyone to impress, Mikey."

"It's not about impressing people, it's about exhibiting common decency!" he seethes.

I blow him off, "Oh, chill the fuck out. No one cares if I wear the same thing."

He persists, "Yes they do!"

"Angela's wearing the same thing!" I fire back.

He pauses for a moment and looks at Angela, "Well she's different."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Angela and I respond together.

He rolls his eyes at us as if the answer is obvious, "Because Angela actually dresses like she gives a damn, unlike you."

"Whatevs, I'm not changing." I pout.

He opens his mouth to complain, but the doorbell rings before he has a word out.

Mikey claps his hands, "Yay! They're here!"

Before I can even think to move, Mikey bolts out of my room and down the stairs.

Angela laughs, "I guess he's just a little excited. You coming?"

"Yup, I'll be down in a minute. I want to make sure I have everything." I tell her.

She nods and heads downstairs. I grab a case for Edward's CD and a jacket for later and make my way down to the kitchen where everyone has convened. They all seem to be getting along. Knowing Mikey, he's already made the necessary introductions. I'll have to thank him later for making it easy on me.

He's currently by the sink with Jasper and the both of them are talking my mom's ear off. Alice seems to have made quick work out of charming my dad. He's actually put down his magazine. A very good sign. Emmett's discussing football with Rosalie and she doesn't even look bored. Edward's in the corner with Angela. This bothers me for a split second until I hear him ask...

"Where's Bella?"

There's goes that tingling again. Stop it, Bella. You've got a boyfriend. HA! So does he! I shove these thoughts out of my head and walk over to them.

"Hey," I say to him, because I'm obviously very articulate.

He smiles is wide as he turns to greet me, "Hey Bella!"

I smile back at him, but I seem to be at a loss for words. This is what happened at lunch. He said hello to me and other than saying hello back, I was perfectly stumped. The most beautiful boy I had ever seen was talking to me. I didn't know how to handle that. Of course, after Jasper announced their status, I managed to get a hold of myself. He's just another Mikey, I kept telling myself over and over. And that is how I was able to break the silence and finally talk to him. That's what I do now.

"Did you have any trouble finding the place?" I ask.

He shakes his head, "Nah, the GPS brought us right here."

I gesture to everyone and look at Angela, "Mikey did the introductions, I take it?"

She smiles, "Of course he did. He loves to play hostess, you know this."

"You're just so beautiful!" I hear my mom gush to Rosalie.

Rosalie smiles at her warmly, "Oh, thank you so much, Mrs. Swan."

"Please, call me Renee." Mom tells her.

I shake my head in amusement and listen in on Dad and Alice, "What does your father do?"

Alice answers, "He's a doctor, sir. He just recently retired from the navy after twenty-five years."

Dad's eyes light up a little at that, "Ah, navy brats."

Alice smiles proudly, "Yes sir."

"I thought about joining the service, but I wanted to follow in the old man's footsteps." he looks at my mom, "Besides, Renee couldn't live without me"

My mom blushes and I take that as my cue to step in.

"Dad, please stop." I beg.

He laughs at me and then asks, "Bell, did you tell them about the book?"

I look at him with pleading eyes, "Do I have to?"

He gives me a scowl and I have my answer.

I sigh, "Guys, my nut-job father would like to have all of your cell numbers."

Mikey comes to Dad's defense, "Oh Isabella, Papa Swan just wants to make sure his little girl is in good hands. That doesn't make him a nut-job."

"Why thank you, Mikey." Dad grins at me.

"Where would you like us to write the information, Chief?" Jasper asks, stepping forward.

Dad turns to Mom, "Renee, can you hand me my book?"

'The book' in question contains the name and number of every person Emmett, Seth or I have ever left the house with since the day we were born. Be it grandparents, friend's parents, friends or even bus drivers. Dad lives by the code of 'better safe, than sorry'. It's a good way to live, but it's a bit embarrassing when you just want to go to shopping with your friends. Mom grabs the book out of the drawer and passes it to him. He flips through over half of it before he comes across an empty page and gives it to Jasper.

"That page is good. If you could add your mother and father's contact information that would be great."

Jasper gives him a little salute, "You got it, Chief!"

My mom speaks up again, "Rosalie dear, do you think your mother would mind if I call her? I'd love to invite her over for tea or something."

Rosalie graces her with another stunning smile, "Absolutely not, Mrs. Sw…Renee. I'm sure she'd love it actually."

Mom claps her hands together, "Fantastic! I'll call her tonight!"

Jasper hands the book back to Dad, "Here you are, Chief. I filled out the information for all of us."

"Great! Can we go now, Dad?" I ask him.

Dad sighs, "Yes, yes. You can go now. It was a pleasure meeting you all. Don't be strangers."

"We definitely won't. It was so nice to meet you both." Alice gives him a brilliant smile.

I don't think I've ever seen my dad blush before, "I... well... you guys be careful. Bell, back by eleven."

"I know. Love you guys. Bye!" I say as we all turn to leave.

"Love you!" they say together.

"Well they were very nice..." I hear my mom start to say before I slip out of the front door.

As we walk across the yard, Alice says, "Bella your parents are so adorable!"

I smile at her, "You only say that because they're not your parents."

She laughs, "Trust me… I know just how embarrassing parents can be. They weren't bad at all."

"Well I guess that's comforting." I say to her, before turning to Edward, "Do you know where you're going?"

"Well, I have the GPS, but I'll probably just follow you." he answers.

I grimace, "Um, so you know, my truck isn't the fastest."

He chuckles, "No big deal."

"Bella..." Rosalie says, looking towards the other side of the yard, "...whose truck is that?"

I don't have to turn to know that she's looking at a faded green monstrosity of a truck, "It's Emmett's."

Her eyes widen, "Oh, it's so..."

"Obnoxious?" I finish for her.

She smiles sweetly, "Yeah, something like that."

"It's his pride and joy. He's kind of obsessive when it comes to that truck."

"Oh, how interesting." she says. It could just be me, but she sounds kind of breathless.

I laugh, "Yup, that's one word for it. Everyone ready to roll?"

They all nod and we hop in our vehicles. As soon as I start my engine, Mikey leans over to take charge of my iPod. I want to fight with him, but it's easier to just let him have his way. It's either listen to something I want to listen to and hear him complain, or listen to something he wants to listen to and he'll leave me alone. Besides, it's _my_ iPod. It's not like I don't like the music on there.

"Mikey, what are you looking for?" Angela asks him as he scrolls through the songs.

His brow is all furrowed as he answers her, "Who sings that one about looking psychotic in a balaclava."

She laughs, "Vampire Weekend."

"Score!" he says, finding the song and attempting to sing along.

I start to get hopeful and think that Mikey's just going to allow us to listen to the music in peace, but the second I have this thought, he starts talking...

"So, Jasper's pretty hot."

"So, Jasper has an equally hot boyfriend." Angela responds.

"So, they're ALL freaking gorgeous." I chip in.

"Isabella, I'm having that little Alice help you shop tonight. You really need it." Mikey says to me.

I roll my eyes at him, "Um, no. I don't need help. I just need gym clothes and maybe some CDs."

"I don't think so. You need new shoes and some new tops and possibly a haircut." he fires at me.

"Excuse me, Miss 'I-Know-Everything'; if I don't want to buy something, I'm not going to." I can feel myself starting to pout.

Angela steps in to diffuse the situation, "I think Emmett's really into Rosalie."

Mikey nods, "Yes, and I think Rose is really into him too. Do you think Jasper's bored with Edward?"

"Where did that come from?" I shoot him a confused look.

"It's just a question, Isabella. I wonder if he's happy with him."

"Why wouldn't he be?" Angela asks.

He thinks a moment before responding, "Well, Edward seems so quiet and stuffy and Jasper seems so..."

"Gay?" Angela says.

"No." he shakes his head.

"Faggy?" I offer.

"No." he sighs.

"Homosexual?" Angela tries again.

"Ugh, NO!" he's getting annoyed.

"Queer?" I ask.

"Oh fuck you both." Mikey says before crossing his arms and looking towards the road.

I look at Angela and she looks at me and we try to suppress our laughter. We turn our attention to the road. After ten minutes, Mikey breaks down and starts talking to us again. As he's discussing the shade of Jasper's eyes with Angela, I take the opportunity to think about things. And by 'things' I mean 'Edward'.

Maybe the fact that he's gay is a good thing. It'll take the awkwardness out of hanging out with him. I won't care whether I look perfect or not, because he won't really be looking. It's not that I don't adore Mikey; he can just be a little too much to handle at times. Edward seems a lot more sedate and low key. I think he'll be able to offer conversation other than which shoes are in this season. I know I can rely on Angela for decent conversations, but if she's not with Eric, she's with J, or she's taking pictures for the school paper. I need a pal. And no, James doesn't count as a pal. He's just my boyfriend. I like the kid, but we don't see eye to eye on a lot of things. The day he told me he didn't want to listen to any of Jack White's music was the day I almost broke up with him. However, I did realize that not everyone gets it. I really hope Edward gets it.

I take a glance and my rear view to make sure he's still back there and smile when I see that he is.

"What are you smiling at, Isabella?" Mikey asks, bringing me out of my thoughts.

"I... huh... what?" I ask.

He never gets to ask his question again because a large, black Lexus SUV cuts me off and I have to slam on my brakes.

"HOW 'BOUT YOU USE A BLINKER NEXT TIME, YOU FUCKING CUNT RAG!" I scream.

"Whoa! Bell, I don't think she can hear you." Angela says, trying to calm me, but I can't be stopped.

"GO BACK TO MARYLAND AND LEARN TO FUCKING DRIVE, DICK FACE!"

I'm seething right now. Seriously? What the fuck is a Maryland driver even doing in Washington State? They have no business driving like that in my state.

"Isabella, baby, I think you need to breathe." Mikey says softly.

I take a few deep breaths and check behind me to make sure Edward's car is still there before I apologize to Mikey and Angela.

"Sorry guys. I just hate when people drive like assholes in my fucking state."

Angela laughs at me, "It's okay, crazy. Just calm down and try not to get us killed."

"After that, I'm not making any guarantees." I wink at her.

We arrive at the outlets without further incident. I park close to a group of restaurants and step out of my truck. Edward pulls into the spot next to me. There's brief discussion about whether to eat before or after shopping, we all opt for after and allow Mikey, Alice and Jasper to lead us to the first store.

Upon entering, Mikey and Jasper each take one of my arms and pull me along with them. Resistance is futile. A quick look back shows me that Edward has been swept off with Alice, Angela and Rosalie. Once we get to the desired department, they start pulling clothes off of the racks.

"Oh my gosh! Honey, this'll look great with your skin tone!" Jasper says, holding up a royal blue mini skirt.

Mikey gasps, "Jazz, that's amazing! Isabella, go try it on."

"I'm not wearing that." I tell them.

Mikey shoots me a venomous stare, "Isabella, you will try on that skirt."

"The fuck I will!" I snap at him.

Jasper just smiles at us both, "Oh ladies, let's not fight. Put the claws away. Bella dear, please try on the skirt. It'll make Miss Jazzy happy."

I try so hard not to laugh, but I can't help it. That has got to be the faggiest thing I've ever heard.

Tears are running down my face as I ask, "Did you honestly just refer to yourself as 'Miss Jazzy?'"

He puts one hand on his hip and with the other he snaps at me, "Oh don't hate, baby girl, appreciate."

"Jazz look at this, it's fabulous!" Mikey squeals, referring to the ruffled shirt in his hand.

Jasper squeals too, "O-M-G! Bella, you NEED this in your life!"

"That is the ugliest fucking shirt I've ever seen!" I say, turning my nose up at it.

Mikey looks totally disgusted, "Isabella, this is Michael Kors."

"I don't give a fuck if Gianni Versace rose from the dead and designed it himself, it's hideous." I argue.

Both of them gasp and cross themselves.

"Oh, give me a break." I groan at them.

"Isabella, that's blasphemous." Mikey whines.

Jasper tries to calm him, "I'm sure she didn't mean it. She just doesn't understand."

Mikey sniffles a little, but manages to pull himself together, "You're right. Isabella, I forgive you."

Ugh, again with the forgiveness. I decide to take the easy way out, "I'm sorry. Give me the shirt. I'll try it on."

He immediately perks up, "Yay!"

They push me towards the fitting room, shove me and the clothes into a stall and sit and wait outside for me to model the outfit for them. As soon as I have it on, I regret giving in to Mikey. I don't even think Britney Spears would be caught dead in this outfit and that's really saying something. I begrudgingly step out and I can tell that the guys are at a loss of words for a few seconds.

Jasper's the first one to speak, "You look like a pirate hooker."

"You look like a cast off from Paris Hilton's BFF show." Mikey adds.

Jasper offers more feedback, "You look like a cocktail waitress at Vegas' Treasure Island."

Mikey starts laughing uncontrollably, "Hey Bella, Lady Gaga called, she wants her outfit back."

Jasper joins in the laughter and I'm still standing here, looking like a douche.

"I told you this was a bad idea." I huff at them and practically sprint back into the fitting room.

What was I thinking coming here? I hate shopping. The only thing I hate more than shopping is being forced to watch Grey's Anatomy. I can't believe that show is still on the air. Honestly... Arrested Development was cancelled, but Grey's Anatomy hasn't been? Something is seriously wrong with this country.

By the time I return to the boys… well girls, the rest of our group has joined them. We head to another store and once we're there, Alice announces that it's her turn and she pulls me towards the racks, bringing Edward along with us.

As she starts pulling random things for me to try on, I open my mouth to tell her not to bother, but Edward leans over to whisper in my ear.

"It's a lost cause, save your breath."

I immediately stop where I am and pretend to look at the rack of clothes nearest to me. Not because I see anything I like, but because of those damn tingles again. I think I'm physically unable to move right now. Of course, Alice notices when I'm not following her anymore.

"Bella? Do you see something you like?" she asks.

I look at the rack and pull out the ugliest shirt I see. This is a trick I learned to use with Mikey. Alice will either love it, or give up on me all together. I'm crossing my fingers for the latter.

I hold it up for her to see, "I thought this looked fun."

Behind her, Edward crinkles his nose and shakes his head, but her eyes light up.

"I love it!" she says excitedly.

Of course she does. After we have a reasonable pile of clothes, we head to the fitting rooms. Apparently Mikey must have warned her about my tendency to not actually try things on, because she comes in the stall with me. She instructs me to try on the ugly shirt and then turns to take off her own shirt in order to put on a dress she picked out. I get a good view of the tattoo on her neck.

"Alice, what's your tattoo mean?" I ask.

Her hand flies to the back of her neck and her eyes meet mine in the mirror, "You know, I never asked. I just walked in and picked the first few symbols I liked."

She laughs, but it doesn't seem genuine. I have a feeling she's not being honest, but I can't be sure. At least not now. I drop the subject and try on the ugly shirt. It looks horrible. Thankfully, she agrees. I try on a few more things, but nothing seems to work. I leave Alice in the fitting room while I go to hang up the clothes.

Edward is looking at himself in a three-way mirror when I come out.

"What do you think of these, Bella?" he asks, referring to the skinny jeans he has on.

Now I'm not a fan of skinny jeans on guys... at all. But Edward pulls them off well.

"They're great. Really. Now you just need a pair of Chucks and you'll be good to go.' I answer him.

"Awesome!" he nods to the clothes in my hands, "How'd you do?"

I groan, "Not good. I suck at shopping."

"You just haven't found the right shopping partner, that's all. Stay right there." he says and then disappears back into the fitting rooms.

When he emerges he smiles at me and grabs my hand. "Come on, I'm sure we can find something that'll suit you."

He catches me off guard and I have no choice, but to allow him to lead me where ever he wants. We leave the store and start walking.

"Where are we going?" I ask.

He looks at me and smiles, "I'm not sure, but I'll know it when I see it."

He's still holding my hand. This should feel awkward since we just met today, but it doesn't. I hold hands with Mikey all the time, it's no big deal. Granted, holding Mikey's hand doesn't cause my stomach to do flip-flops, but that's neither here nor there.

"What you thinking about?" Edward asks, giving my hand a little squeeze.

I look up at him, "I'm wondering if we should let the others know where we are."

He shakes his head, "Nah, I told Al. She'll let everyone else know."

"Ah, cool then and thanks. I felt like I was about to break out into a cold sweat in there." I tell him.

He laughs, "I could tell. You looked so lost."

I nod, "I felt lost."

He stops in front of a vintage clothing store and smiles, "This looks promising."

The second we step inside, I see things I like.

I release his hand and start going through the racks of clothes. He selects a few things for me and I'm surprised when I actually like what he chooses.

I smile at him, "Mikey never brings me here."

"Well I'm not Mikey." he says and smiles back.

No, he's most certainly not. We talk about various things as I fill up my arms, and his, with clothes. We even talk as I'm trying on the clothes. Edward sits outside of the curtain and patiently waits for me to come out to model everything. He's actually honest and tells me when he thinks something is ugly, but he's sweet about it. I end up leaving with three t-shirts, two pair of nicely ripped jeans and a dress. This is the most productive shopping trip I've ever been on and I had fun to boot!

"Where to next?" Edward asks as he takes the bags from my hands.

I point him in the direction he should walk, "Newton's. We need gym clothes."

ABBA's Dancing Queen starts playing out of nowhere. Edward looks confused.

I laugh at his expression as I pull out my phone to show him where the music is coming from, "It's Emmett's ring tone. He hates it."

I answer, "Yes, Emmers?"

_"Balls, where ya at?"_

"I'm shopping, dink. What do you want?"

_"Well I'm at Newton's with your man. I figured we could meet your crew for dinner, if you haven't already eaten."_

"My man? James is with you?"

Edward gives me a puzzled look.

"My boyfriend." I mouth to him.

His mouth forms into a silent 'oh' and he just nods.

_"Yeah. Dad wanted me to come check on you."_

"What the fuck? Why doesn't he ever trust me?"

"_He just worries, Balls. You know this."_

"Whatevs. We're walking in now."

"_We?"_ he asks hopefully.

"Edward and I."

"_Oh."_

I hang up because I'm right behind him now.

"Hey Emmers!" I say loudly and laugh when he jumps in surprise.

"Fuck! Totally unnecessary, Balls!" he complains and then recovers and nods to Edward, "Hey man."

Edward nods back, but doesn't say anything. He's too busy eyeing up James as he approaches. Apparently Edward and I have the same taste in men.

James comes to wrap an arm around my shoulder, "Hey babe, how's shopping?"

"Really good! Edward helped me pick out a lot of good things." I say happily.

James holds a hand out to Edward, "Hey man, we haven't met yet. James Myers."

Edward shakes his hand, "Edward Cullen. Bella's told me so much about you."

I try not to smirk at him, because I never even mentioned James to him.

"Edward, we need gyms clothes. Guys, we'll see you in a few?" I say, pulling Edward away with me.

When we're out of earshot, Edward asks, "Why didn't you tell me you have a boyfriend?"

I shrug, "It just slipped my mind."

"Bella, while we were in the vintage shop you told me about your old dog Sammy, your love for My Little Ponies and your favorite Kevin Spacey movies, but you forget to mention a boyfriend?"

I sigh, "I know man, I'm weird."

He laughs and seems to accept this reasoning. I lead us to the uniform section of the store. Proper gym attire consists of blue basketball shorts and a yellow t-shirt with our last name and a number of our choosing written in blue.

I let myself in behind the counter to start filling out a special order request. Edward looks confused.

"Um, they just let anyone behind the counter here?"

I shoot him a smile, "Yup! Especially when they work here."

"You work here?" he asks gesturing to the store.

I nod, "Yeah. So does Emmett. Seth probably will too. It's Mikey's parents' store."

"Ah, so Mikey works here too?" he assumes.

I snort at that, "Um, not so much. Sports and outdoors activities aren't really his thing."

He laughs, "Yeah, I guess I can see that."

After I have our orders filled, we walk back to Emmett and James, but they're not alone. J and Seth have joined them.

"What the hell are you jokers doing here?" I ask.

"I needed gym clothes and the kid was good enough to ride along with me." J answers.

"Gotcha. Have you guys eaten?" I ask.

They all shake their heads 'no', "Good, 'cause I'm fucking hungry."

I pull out my cell to text Angela, but J cuts me off...

"They're already at Finnegan's waiting for all of us." he says smiling. He knows me too well.

I clap my hands in excitement, "Sweet! Let's go!"

We walk together to the restaurant and I really hope they score us an outside table, the evening's too pretty to be inside. When we arrive, I see our group is sitting on the patio. I'm all smiles when we get to the table.

Mikey notices, "My goodness, Isabella. You look happy."

"So? What's wrong with me being happy?" I snap at him.

He laughs at me, "Calm down there, killer. You just aren't normally that happy on shopping trips, that's all."

"Oh yeah, I guess not." I admit.

We all take our seats. Emmett takes a place next to Rosalie, I grab the seat next to him and expect Edward to take the seat next to me, but James snatches it up first.

What the fuck? I wanted to sit next to Edward. Will it be too strange for me to tell James to move? I realize that I'm being ridiculous. James is my boyfriend; of course he wants to sit next to me. It's only natural. Besides, Edward's just a nice new friend who helped me shop. He's not that great.

I sigh... right Bella, keep telling yourself that.

***I am aware that there aren't really any outlet shops located in Port Angeles. For the sake of my story, I'm pretending there are. :o)

Also…if I offended anyone with the use of the 'c' word, I apologize. I truly believe that sometimes it's the only word that will express just how foul you think a person is. Besides, when you have the friends I do, it's bound to pop up in daily conversations at least once or twice.


	7. Hypnotize

Beta's Note:

This go 'round Carrie has given me the privilege of writing the note; which is AWESOME because I get the opportunity to rant about how much I love this chapter! For me, this chapter is the best so far - I mean srsly hysterical... Oh, Carrie know. I was seriously in tears because I was laughing so hard. Carrie, you're as hilarious as an author as you are in person. I think everyone needs a Carrie in their life! Also, let me take a second to apologize for the delay - this would have been up sooner, but real life has just been a whirlwind recently.

To the reviewers: Thank you for reading and reviewing - I hope you're enjoying this story as much as I am - and oh, the things to come! eeeee!

SarahxEmmett: I think I heart you. Your reviews make me (and Carrie) smile (and giggle).

Disclaimer: Character names and song titles do not belong to caanbr. They are property of Stephenie Myer and The White Stripes respectively.

**Hypnotize**

Chapter 7

**EDWARD**

Check out this mother fucker... _check out this mother fucker!_

Did he honestly just cut in front of me to sit next to Bella? Of course he did, because he's her boyfriend! Why didn't she tell me she had a boyfriend? She said it slipped her mind. I'm not sure how that's possible. Alice normally can't contain the fact that she has a boyfriend. Maybe that means that James is of little importance, or maybe it means she's just really forgetful. Hopefully it's the former.

I take a seat next to Seth and glance around the table. Emmett is already joking with Rosalie. I've really never seen her so attentive to a guy before. It's interesting. Next to Rosalie is Mikey. He and Jasper are talking about Lady Gaga, Jasper's guilty pleasure. Alice is sitting next to Jasper. Her right hand is mysteriously absent from the table, no doubt on Jasper's thigh. She sees me smirk at her and sticks her tongue out at me. Beside her is Angela, who is telling J about the shoes she just bought. J hangs on her every word. Seth is sitting on J's left, waiting for a topic he can actually participate in.

Everyone looks so excited and happy. Up until a few seconds ago, I was excited and happy as well, then that fucker had to take my seat.

"Edward, you okay?" Alice asks, concerned.

I nod at her and smile, "Yeah, I'm good, Al."

She furrows her brow, not believing me, and brings her missing hand back to the table. Bereft of Alice's hand, Jasper turns to investigate the cause. When he sees the way she's looking at me, he decides to get involved...

"Eddie, love, is everything alright?"

I look over at him, about to respond in my usual smartass manner, when an idea strikes me. I give him a slow smile and he can tell I'm up to something.

"Oh yes precious, I'm fantastic. I mean, just look at this lovely man sitting next to me." I say, patting James on the shoulder.

James flinches a little bit, but still manages to smile.

"Bella girl, you better keep a tight grip on your sweetie there, my Eddie's quite the charmer." Jasper winks at her.

I bat my hand at him, "Oh Jazzy, you know I only have eyes for you. This one is just fun to look at."

I run my hand down James' bicep and I feel totally creepy about it, but it has the desired effect.

"Babe, can you switch me seats?" James says, scooting his chair back, "I forgot there was something I wanted to talk to Em about."

Bella gets up from her chair, "Absolutely sweetie, not a problem."

FUCKING SCORE!

James shifts over to take her seat and Bella sits down next to me. All is right with the world. I shoot a quick nod to Jasper, thanking him or his assistance. He nods back at me and winks. He really is good at this 'being gay' thing.

"Looks like my stalking can continue as planned," Bella says as she's settling into her new seat.

I laugh, "I guess so. If you're going to sit here, you better entertain me."

"Fuck a buncha that! I'm the one stalking YOU. That's a lot of work, therefore it's your job to entertain." she smiles at me sweetly.

"Okay. And how would you like me to entertain you?" I ask.

She thinks for a moment before answering, "I'm not sure yet, but I'll think of something."

"I can't wait to see what you come up with." I respond.

I feel as though I'm staring at her again, so I force myself look away and start studying the menu.

She isn't able to analyze my actions, because the waitress chooses this moment to take our drink orders. After she leaves, Angela calls out to her.

"Bella, did you end up buying anything?"

"Oh my gosh, yes. Edward took me to that vintage shop you guys never let me go to." she answers.

I hear Mikey groan, "Oh Eddie, you didn't!"

Bella quickly comes to my defense, "He did and you will not make him feel guilty about it."

I glance at Alice. She's wearing a very self-satisfied smile. It was, in fact, _her_ idea to take Bella to that store. When I had gone back into the fitting rooms to rid myself of the dreaded skinny jeans, I told Alice I was taking Bella outside. She reminded me not to lose my gay and told me to take Bella to the vintage store a few doors down. I'll have to thank her for that later. Bella was so excited to be in there. She looked like a kid who just got their first Big Wheel.

"So what did you get, love?" Alice inquires.

Bella smiles at my twin, clearly still very happy about her purchases, "I bought three t-shirts, two pair of jeans and a dress."

Mikey spits out his water, "Isabella, did you say you bought a dress?"

She smiles serenely, "Yes."

"You picked it out yourself?" Angela asks.

Bella's smile tightens a little, "Mmmhmm."

James cocks his head at her, "So, Edward didn't even suggest it to you?"

Bella huffs at that, "I picked out the fucking dress myself. Edward only offered an opinion. Now, if you bitches keep on, I'll take the shit back."

"No!" Mikey and Angela shout at once.

"Isabella, you've never wanted to by a dress before, this is just a surprise, that's all." Mikey says apologetically.

"Well maybe it's because you guys never let me pick out things on my own." she says to him before picking up her menu, effectively putting an end to the conversation.

During their exchange, she's started blushing again. Damn that blush is hot. I wonder if she blushes all over. I'm staring again aren't I?

As if in answer to my silent question Alice starts talking to me, "I picked up those skinnies for you, Edward."

I smile at her gratefully for helping me get my eyes off of Bella, "Thanks Al."

She smiles back at me, knowing exactly what I'm thanking her for. I pick up my menu to keep myself occupied. I already know what I'm going to order, but I keep looking at the menu anyway to keep my eyes off of other, more attractive, things. Unfortunately, Bella doesn't want to make it that easy for me.

"What are you getting?" she asks.

I answer without looking at her, "I'm pretty sure I'm going to go with the mushroom ravioli."

"Good choice." she says, "I'mma rip me up a cheese steak. You wanna share some fries?"

Now I turn to her, "Um, I don't think ravioli goes with fries."

She looks at me as if I'm crazy, "Everything goes with fries."

"I'll share some fries with you, babe." James says from her other side.

He reaches over to hold her hand and they start talking quietly to one another. I'd be lying if I said this didn't make me more than a little angry. I don't even realize my hand has formed a tight fist until Alice starts talking to me again...

"Edward, did you buy anything?"

As annoying as she is sometimes, she really is my savior.

I unclench my fist and nod, "Yeah, I bought a blazer and an old concert t-shirt Bella told me I needed."

Alice grins at her, "Good call, Bella. He needs to spice up his wardrobe."

Bell looks up at the mention of her name and smiles at Alice.

The waitress delivers our drinks and takes our food orders. After she leaves, it occurs to me that other than giving his drink and food orders, Seth hasn't really been talking.

I turn to him, "Hey kid, how was your first day?"

He looks grateful to have something to talk about, "Well, when I wasn't getting lost, the day was great. My teachers are cool so far. And I've got football practice tomorrow, so that's exciting."

"Football, eh? What position do you play?" I ask.

Seth smiles, "Fullback."

"Ah, I was a tight end myself." I tell him.

"You certainly were." Jasper says laughing, Mikey joining him. I had no idea they were listening.

I'm normally not the blushing type, but that pushed me over the edge. That really wasn't necessary. Alice shoots me a look as if to say 'calm down', but it doesn't help.

"Where did you play before, Edward?" J asks.

I smile at J, happy that he's able to keep the conversation going, "I played in San Diego. I wasn't the best, so I decided to give it up when we moved."

J nods to Seth, "I bet good money that the kid here makes varsity next year. He's pretty awesome."

Seth is beaming, "You really think so?"

J slaps him on the back, "Hell yeah! Em's not gonna be around and we'll need someone to wear that 'Swan' jersey."

They start talking football and I pull away from the discussion.

"Alice," Angela starts, turning away from Seth and J, "your hair is so much fun. What do you do to it?"

"Oh, I just did this last night." she says, smiling proudly. "I wanted to do something different. My natural color is just like Edward's."

Angela's eyes go wide, "You are so brave. Really. I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to color my hair, but I always wuss out."

Alice tilts her head to the side, giving Angela a good look, "Honestly, Angela, if I looked like you, I wouldn't do anything to myself."

"See, Angie? I told you, you're perfect the way you are." J says, taking a moment from his conversation with Seth to make Angela blush.

"You can't be serious." I hear Rosalie say and direct my attention to her end of the table.

Emmett is smiling hugely at her and holding a hand up in the air, "My hand to God. I never kid about such things."

Her mouth drops open in shock. This is a something I've never seen from her before.

"A Powerstroke?" she's practically drooling.

Emmett is still smiling, dimples in full force, "Yup!"

Ah, it makes sense now. Rosalie is a huge gear head. In fact, the only time she doesn't complain about visiting her dad in Detroit, is when the car show is in town. Emmett has just revealed to her that he drives one of her favorite trucks, a Ford F350. If she doesn't start dry humping him right here at the table, I'll be surprised.

"I knew when I saw your truck earlier that it was something special." Rosalie is still kind of drooling.

"When I got her, she was in pretty bad shape. J helped get her in the near pristine condition she's in now." Emmett divulges.

Rosalie's eyes snap to J, "J, seriously?"

J, who's still discussing football, looks up at the sound of his name, "What'd I do?"

"You helped Emmett with the Powerstroke?" Rosalie asks, nodding towards Emmett.

"Heh heh heh, I know someone who can help me with a 'powerstroke'." Jasper says, wagging his eyebrows at me.

Rosalie sighs, "Jasper."

"Yes, Rose?" he says sweetly.

"Knock it the fuck off!" she snaps.

Jasper opens his mouth to reply, but she's already picked up where she left off with J, "Where did you even start? Did you use spare parts or order new ones? How did you learn to do all of that?"

"I will be more than happy to answer, but here comes our food." J says pointing over her shoulder. He smiles at her, "Later, I promise."

This must appease her, because she doesn't persist in her normal 'Rosalie' manner. The waitress distributes our plates. Once we have everything we need, she leaves us and we all dig in.

Bella was right, the ravioli was a good choice. I look over to tell her this, but I'm struck silent by the sight if Bella shoving a cheese steak in her mouth. I'm definitely staring. My mouth is most certainly open. I should be appalled at her table manners, I'm anything but. It's not even the fact that she can get her mouth open that wide... and believe me, it's wide... it's the look of shear enjoyment on her face. It's as if that's the best thing she's ever eaten.

She finally notices me staring at her.

"Whaa?" she asks, her mouth still full.

I smile at her, "Nothing. I was just admiring your love for that cheese steak."

"Uttssooguud." she says.

I can't help, but laugh, "Yes, I see that."

"Bella!" James says sharply, "Could you not? Some people are trying to eat."

She puts a couple of fries in her mouth, then mutters, "Sooowy."

Emmett snorts with laughter, "Balls, try to make ma proud, kay?"

She finishes chewing her food completely, before responding, "No problem, Emmers."

He furrows his brow at her, but doesn't say anything else.

She looks back at me, rolls her eyes in regards to them and continues eating. When James reaches for a fry, she nearly stabs him with her fork.

"Fuck Bella, I thought you wanted to split fries!" he whines.

"Actually, I wanted to split fries with Edward. You just offered when he didn't respond. I never really committed to sharing, so proceed at your own risk." she says matter-of-factly.

James studies her face, trying to determine how serious she is. He decides to take a chance and reaches for a fry. Bella brings the fork down and he flinches and pulls his hand away. This happens about three more times, before he gives up.

Bella smiles and pushes the fries towards him, "I'm just fucking with you, man! Have some!"

He reaches for a fry and Bella bring her fork down again, making him flinch. Emmett, Seth and J, who have been snickering to themselves, start laughing uncontrollably. Somehow I doubt this is the first time Bella has fucked with James like this. The thought makes me feel all warm on the inside.

"I swear, Isabella, if I haven't actually seen your girlie parts, I'd think you were a boy." Mikey says.

"Hey Mikey…" Bella says in an excited manner, before her expression changes to a look of annoyance, "Shut the fuck up and let me eat in peace."

J leans forward to get my attention, "See? I told you she gets cranky when she's hungry."

"You totally did." I laugh.

"I have no clue what you're talking about." Bella says dismissively to us both and then continues to shove food in her mouth. Mmmmmm… her mouth.

"Edward, how's the ravioli?" Alice asks from the other side of the table.

"It's good, Al. How's yours?"

"Really fucking good!" she says.

I really will have to do something nice for Alice for keeping me on point in regards to Bella.

When we got home from school today I was so pissed at her, I didn't even stop in the kitchen to talk to Esme; I just stomped up to my room and started unpacking more of my stuff. About a half hour later, there was a tiny knock on my door.

"Come in, Alice." I sighed.

She came in, shutting the door behind her and went to sit cross-legged on my bed. She watched me unpack in silence for nearly five minutes, before getting to the point of her visit.

"She's special, Edward." she finally said.

"Who's special?"

She rolled her eyes at me, "Bella, you dipshit."

"Well duh. She's beautiful and funny and beautiful. Smart."

Alice nodded, "Yes, and I suspect there's much more to her than that. I like her. I want to be her friend. In fact, I like everyone we met today. They seem like a really great bunch."

I nodded back at her, "I couldn't agree more. I'm really excited that they seem to be taking us under their wing, so to speak."

"Don't mess this up for me, Edward." she said seriously.

"Don't mess _what_ up?" I asked, confused.

"EVERYTHING!" she shouted, clearly exasperated with me.

Before I could even open my mouth to ask her what she meant by that, she continued, "Edward, I want friends. I want to fit in. I don't just want to be one of the 'new kids'. I want to be invited to parties. I want to have girlfriends, other than Rose, to shop with. I want to go know my friends' parents, so when I go over to their house I can be like 'How was work today, Mrs. So-and-So?' I WANT A CONFIDANT THAT ISN'T A MEMBER OF THS FAMILY, DAMN IT!"

"Breathe, Al. Please breathe." I told her.

She went on, "It's not that I don't love you guys, because I do. I just want friends. I know they've never been high on your priority list and I understand why, but you have to have to see where I'm coming from, don't you?"

"Al, of course I see where you're coming from! Don't you think I want friends too? Shit, why do you think I stayed with Tanya for so long? It's not because I was in love with her. It's because I wanted someone in my life who was just mine." I confessed to her.

She looked surprised, "Whenever we would move, you'd never attempt to socialize. I don't understand."

I tilted my head at her, "I never thought it was necessary, because I knew we'd just be moving again. It's not that I didn't want to; I just didn't see the point. It was upsetting for me to see you so disappointed every time we would have to leave. I didn't really want to put myself through that too."

"Oh. Well. That's makes a lot of sense actually." she conceded.

I sat down on the bed next to her, "Al, I promise, I won't do anything to jeopardize any of your new friendships."

"Edward, I saw the way you were looking at Bella. You like her and I'd bet money that she kinda likes you. She has a boyfriend though, as do YOU. Sure you can stop the whole 'gay' charade, but what do you think is going to happen? She's going to breakup with her man just for you? And even if she did, what happens if it doesn't work out? Then we'd be known as the kids who came in and blew everything to shit!"

I smirked at her, "You're being a little dramatic don't you think?"

She shook her head, "No, I really don't think so. You heard them this morning; they've been friends their whole lives. Those are bonds not meant to be broken. Not to mention, even if something happens and their group isn't blown to shit, where do you think that would leave the rest of us?"

"Oh for the love of God, Alice… we _just_ got here. I think you're jumping the gun a little bit. I talked to a pretty girl all of ten minutes and you already see me ruining everyone's lives. I really dig everyone we met today. I'm actually excited to go out shopping with them tonight and you know I hate shopping. I feel like we could belong here. Believe me; I don't want to mess this up."

She smirked back at me then, "You really think Bella is 'just' a pretty girl?"

"Um… yeah. Just a pretty girl… who has no qualms about trying to choke her brother out, or driving an old beat up truck, or cursing like a sailor. Eh, she's nothing special." I'll admit that I didn't believe myself when I was saying it.

"Mmmmmhmmmm… I knew it." she said, still smirking.

I sighed, "Whatever you _think_ you know doesn't matter. I told you, I'm not going to do anything to mess this up for any of us. I promise."

She hugged me tightly, "Thank you, Edward."

"This doesn't mean that I'm going to stay away from Bella, because I'm not." I tell her.

She pulled back from the hug and opened her mouth to argue, but I cut her off.

"Al, I like her. She seems like a nice girl and I'd like to be her friend. Besides, we've already established a rapport. If I stop talking to her now, it'd make me look like an asshole and I'm not cool with that."

She narrowed her eyes at me, "Fine, but I'm going to make sure you stay in line. It's one thing to joke around and talk music with her; it's another thing entirely to stare at her like you're Heidi Montag and she's a bag of saline!"

"Ooooh, she scares me." I shuddered.

"As she should! If your sorry ass gets out of line, she won't be the only thing scaring you!" she stated seriously.

"Yeah, yeah Al… I get it." I patted her on the head.

"Oh… my butt is vibrating." she exclaimed, pulling her phone out of her back pocket. She looked at and smiled, "It's a text from Bella!"

I tried to grab her phone from her, "What is it? What does it say?"

She jumped deftly off of my bed and headed for the door, "It's just her address 'Heidi'. We're leaving in five."

After she left, I sat on my bed for another five minutes, trying to figure out how I was going to keep my promise to Alice. If definitely isn't going to easy, but I'm going to do my best, at least for her sake.

My thoughts are suddenly interrupted by a very large belch emanating to my left.

I glance over in time to see Bella covering up her mouth with her napkin, before squeaking out a dainty, "Excuse me."

"Isabella, was that necessary?" Mikey complains.

Emmett starts laughing, "Oh it absolutely was. Nice one, Balls."

"Thanks man." Bella smiles shyly before taking a sip of her Coke.

Everyone is nearly finished, so the various conversations have picked up again. I'm about to ask Seth how his dinner was, when I hear James scolding Bella in a hushed tone.

"Can we ever have dinner with people without you acting like an ass?" he hisses at her.

She defends herself, "It's no big deal, Jame. People thought it was funny."

"Emmett's the only one who thought it was funny. That's not saying much." he sounds infuriated. It was just a belch.

"It was just a burp, calm down." It sounds like she's starting to get angry now.

He scoffs at her, "It was disgusting… and unnecessary… and embarrassing. Yeah, it's embarrassing. This is why I never ask you to stay for dinner at my house. Your table manners are so nonexistent; you'd make a fool of yourself."

Oh no he fucking didn't! This time, I'm fully aware that my hand is clenched into a fist. In this moment, I don't care if I blow the gay front; I just want to cause serious physical pain to him. So fucking what if she belches in front of her friends, it's not like she's having dinner with the President.

I shift in my seat and I'm about to open my mouth, but Bella starts holding her own again.

"James, seriously, knock it off. It's not like I'm dining with the Queen fucking Mother. I'm eating dinner with my friends and I'm pretty sure if you polled the whole fucking table, they wouldn't give a shit. Hell, they probably expected it. You need to get over yourself and stop being such a dick."

He opens his mouth to respond, but by this time the waitress has reappeared and asks cheerfully, "Can I get anything else for you guys?"

James decides to speak for the table, "I think we're good. If you could bring our checks, that would be great."

As far as I know, no one has discussed being ready for the checks. Man this guy is such an asshole. How did he and Bella even start dating in the first place?

The waitress nods and starts to say something, when Bella, never taking her eyes off of James, speaks up, "Actually, I think I'll have some dessert."

"Bella, you don't need any dessert." James snaps.

Fuck. Him.

"Actually, I think I'll have some dessert too." Jasper says.

My eyes snap to his and I know in that second that he's been listening to the exchange between James and Bella too. This is why I love my brother. His gaze moves to my hands and I look down and see that my fists are still clenched tight.

"Eddie… don't you want dessert too? I know how much you love apple pie." Jasper drawls.

The waitress apologizes, "I'm sorry, we actually only have apple crisp."

I flash a smile at her, "That's even better. Bella, what are you having?"

Bella finally gives her full attention to the waitress, "I'd like a fudge sundae, please. Can I have that with chocolate ice cream, no vanilla?"

"Absolutely." She smiles at her and turns to Jasper, "And for you?"

"Well, I think the banana cream pie will tickle my pickle quite well," he responds.

"You got it. Anyone else?" she looks around the table.

"Actually," Rose says, her head poking over the menu, "I'd like the triple layer chocolate cake. Two forks, please."

The waitress smiles at her, "No problem. I'll be right back with those."

The a slight shuffle next to me and I realize that Bella has shifted her chair a little closer to mine, "The apple crisp is really good."

I give her a half smile before saying, loudly enough for at least James to hear, "That burp was pretty impressive."

She smiles brilliantly at me, "Yeah, I thought so too. It's a side effect to growing up around my dad. It's not that I don't have manners. He's just always reminding us not to take ourselves so seriously. Really, if the police chief is telling me not to take things too seriously, who am I to argue?"

"Oh I do like the way you think, Miss Swan." I offer.

She bows her head at me, "Why thank you, Mr. Cullen."

"Here we are!" our waitress announces as she starts handing out the desserts.

As she sits Bella's sundae in front of her, I find it impossible not to say, "Oh wow, that is huge!"

"Ha! That's what he said!" Jasper quips.

The table erupts into laughter, except James. He's being an asshole though, so no one cares.

Bella was right again, the apple crisp was amazing. Judging by Jasper's empty plate, the banana cream pie was good too, though I suspect that Alice helped him finish it off.

"Oh hell no, that last bite is mine." Rosalie grabs Emmett's fork away to take the last bite of chocolate cake he was attempting to steal.

Bella, who made a considerable dent in her sundae, passes the rest along to Seth. Before she sits back in her chair, she leans over and whispers in my ear.

"Oh, this is going to be fun."

I don't even get a chance to ask her what she means by that, because as soon as the words are out of her mouth, she belches even louder than she did the first time.

I think I love this girl.

*** I know, I know, James sucks. he's horrible and whatnot. I promise he will go away… … …eventually. ;)


	8. Call It A Day

Author's Note and Disclaimer:

Here we are again...

To all of the readers / reviewers: Thank you so very much! I love your feedback. :o)

To my fantastic beta (who's now a proud homeowner): You're the best! And you know that I'm not just saying that. Thank you for keeping me on task… and writing the note last week. I say again... you're the best.

To Jack White: You're amazing. I love you. Please, please, please lie on top of me.

Just to reiterate: Character names, song titles and lyrics do NOT belong to me, they are the property of Stephenie Meyer, The Raconteurs, The Dead Weather, the unknown writer of 'Wayfaring Stranger', The White Stripes, and Dolly Parton respectively. The story, as always, is mine.

Keep reading, friends!

**Call It A Day**

Chapter 8

**BELLA**

Despite what some people think, I do have manners. I just chose not to employ them when I'm in the presence of my friends. You know, because these are the people who are supposed to accept me, bad manners and all.

Man...fuck James. Actually, the only thing that kept me from pummeling him about the face with the breadbasket was common courtesy for my fellow diners. One could say that is an offshoot of manners, but what do I know? My manners are nonexistent.

We're currently on our way to the vehicles. I'm not really looking forward to the ride home. If I know my girls as well as I think I do, there'll be a lot of talk about boys and clothes. Those are two topics that I don't want to speak about.

"What's wrong?" an unexpected voice says to my right. I look to see Edward walking next to me. When did that happen? Angela was just there a second ago.

Confused, I ask, "Where did you come from?"

Now _he_ looks confused, "Um, I saw Angela veer off to walk with J, so came to keep you company."

"Oh." Well I guess that does make sense. I appreciate the thought. Let's be honest, better him than James. I'm still liable to karate chop that mother fucker's neck if he were to get close to me. He was smart enough to walk as far away from me as possible, putting Emmett between us. Asshole. James, that is. UGH! Wait. Edward asked me a question, didn't he?

"Nothing's wrong. I was just thinking." I finally answer.

"What about?"

Gheez, he's nosy. "Um, just stuff and things. Oh hey, I made that CD for you."

He's instantly excited, "Really? That's fantastic! Where is it?"

I can't help but smile at him, "It's in my truck. I'll give it to you before we leave."

The smile he gives me is so striking, I have to look away. Luckily, I don't have to struggle to find something to say, because Angela strolls over to us.

"Bella, it's cool if I ride back with J, right?" she asks, already knowing what my answer will be.

I act disappointed, "Ang, really? You're gonna leave me with Mikey tonight? For real?"

Her face falls, "Oh, you're right. I'll tell J I can't."

She starts to turn away, but I grab her arm, "Don't be a dink, friend. You know I don't care."

"Oh yay! Thanks, Bella!" Angela gives me a hug as we come to a stop in the parking lot.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatevs." I say, trying to shrug her off.

"Oh wow, she's even prettier up close!" Rosalie exclaims.

We turn to see her stroking the hood of Emmett's monster. Ewww, that's not right.

"Yup, that's my Lucille." Emmett is absolutely beaming as he stares at Rosalie, or is he staring at the truck? Hard to tell.

Her eyes are practically sparkling when she asks, "What's a girl have to do to get a ride?"

Holy shit, she works fast! Emmett is in so much trouble. He opens the passenger side door for her.

"Hop on in, ma'am."

Without even giving a word to her family, she climbs into the cab. As Emmett's walking around to get in the driver's seat, James stops him. That probably isn't the smartest thing for him to do.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! You're my ride, man!"

Emmett glares at him with a look that can only be interpreted as, 'Fuck off!' and James promptly shuts up and walks away.

Emmett presents us all with a dimpled smile and waves before hopping in next to Rosalie, starting his engine and driving away.

"My sister is such a friendly girl." Jasper says once they're out of sight.

Edward snorts, "I think that's the understatement of the year."

Jasper bats a hand at him, "Oh don't start, you."

Edward turns to me, "The CD?"

"Right this way, sir." I lead him to my truck, open the glove box and present him with the CD. He chuckles when he reads the title.

"Edward's Education, huh?"

"Yup. Now, you are to listen to these songs _in order_. I beg you to not deviate from the pattern until you've been through them at least three times." I tell him seriously.

"Yeah, no problem." he responds.

I don't find him convincing, "I'm really fucking serious."

"I can really fucking tell." he says furrowing his brow, looking adorable and HELLO tingles, I was wondering where you were.

"Okay. I guess I'll trust you. I expect a full status report in the a.m."

He gives me a salute, "Sir, yes sir!"

I laugh and shout to where Mikey is standing with the others, "Mikey, you ready?"

He skips... yes, he actually skips... over, "Sooooooo. Isabella, I'm riding back with Alice, Jasper and Edward."

"Man, what the fuck? I don't wanna ride back by myself." I pout.

James, who had been standing off to the side sulking since Emmett left, steps forward, "I'll ride back with you, babe."

"Oh, fuck no!" I snap and he actually looks shocked, "Um, you really thought that I'd want to be trapped in a small truck cab with you after you were such a cockstain at dinner?"

He opens his mouth to argue his side, but he must realize he's pretty much screwed because he decides not to say anything.

I walk over to everyone else, "So, everyone has abandoned me. Kid? Ride home?"

"Uh, sure." Seth says and I detect a twinge of disappointment.

Jasper gasps, "I have the best idea ever!" he pauses, "Eddie! You can ride back with her!"

"Excuse me?" Edward and I respond as one.

"Well it's perfect idea! Mary Alice will drive the Volvo with me and Mikey as her copilots. Seth can ride with J and Angela. That will give you and Bella time to converse about Mr. White. FABULOUS!" he sing-songs.

Edward glances at me and shrugs, "Works for me, if it works for you."

Oh, it TOTALLY works for me!

"Uh, um, yeah. I mean, if you want to, that's cool." I mutter.

"What about me?" James huffs.

I turn to J, "It's cool if James rides with you, right?"

He looks slightly taken aback, but manages to nod, "Sure man, hop in, Angie has shotgun though."

James touches my arm lightly before walking over and getting in the backseat of J's V-dub.

The rest of us exchange goodnights then we all climb into our vehicles and it's away we go!

As soon as Edward has his door shut, I turn to him, "So, rules of the truck: Number one, you must wear a seatbelt."

He reaches across his shoulder and wastes no time strapping himself in, "Check."

"Number two, until you've earned the right, you do not touch the radio, or my iPod."

He makes a big production out of sitting on his hands, "Check."

"Number three, I'm fully aware of how loud and slow my truck is; I don't need to hear comments about it."

He nods, "Check. You want I should tape my mouth shut?"

"Nah, that won't be necessary, but remember, you've been warned," I advise.

"Alright, I have been so warned." He flashes me a big smile, "Are we ready to go now?"

"Well, those are the only rules, so I suppose we are," I say, smiling back.

I start the engine and I swear I see Edward jump a little at the sound, but he keeps his mouth shut. Smart guy. As I pull out of my parking spot, I start rooting around in my bag.

"Would you like some help?" Edward asks kind of nervously.

"Nope. I got this." My hand finally clamps down on what it's been searching for and I pull my iPod out of my bag. I make quick work out of connecting the cord and then search for a song.

"You know, we could just listen to this," he suggests, waving the CD at me.

"I know we could, but we're not going to." I answer simply. "I want you to listen to that on your own. We're still going to listen to some Jack though, don't worry. Ah, this'll be a good start."

I push play and the opening chords of '60 Feet Tall' fill the cab. Edward opens his mouth, but I hold my finger up to keep him quiet. The music continues and then Miss Alison Mosshart starts singing:

"_You're so cruel and shameless_  
_But I can't leave you be_  
_You're so cold and dangerous_  
_I can't leave you be_  
_You got the kind of loving_  
_I need constantly"_

I sigh, "Edward, this is Alison."

He chuckles, "Nice to meet you Alison. What's this song?"

"'60 Feet Tall'. This is The Dead Weather, Mr. White's third band. He likes to do things in threes."

"And when does he start singing?" he asks.

"Oh…he doesn't on this one, but that's him on the drums."

He nods and then remains silent, just listening to the music. I start to relax. This has been quite the eventful day. I was abandoned this morning. I made new friends. I actually enjoyed shopping. This was not a typical day in the life of Bella Swan. This better not become the norm, I don't think I'd get used to it. The song comes to a close and I start talking again.

"Well?"

"Eh, not too bad." he answers, "What else you got?"

I hear a banjo and smile, "Wayfaring Stranger."

He listens for a few seconds, "Why does this sound familiar?"

"It's a pretty old song, no one is really sure if its origins. Jack recorded it for Cold Mountain. He was in that movie, you know?"

He laughs, "Yeah, I think I knew that."

"He's very talented." I insist. We fall into silence again and the music fills the void. The song ends and 'Top Yourself' starts. I giggle nervously and quickly skip over it. I'm not ready to share that one yet.

"How does James feel about Jack?"

Now that's a question I wasn't expecting, so I just reply with the first thing that comes to me, "Fuck James."

He offers fake sympathy, "Aww, they don't get along?"

There are three beats and then a slow guitar plays, I smile at Edward.

When Jack starts singing, so do I, "Sugar never tasted so good, sugar never tasted so good, sugar never tasted good to meeeeee, yeah."

I giggle and clap my hands at the fantasticness. Edward's eyes go wide when he sees my hands leave the steering wheel. This makes me giggle even more.

"Sorry man, I couldn't help it. He's just so screechy and fantastic in this song."

"Well it definitely doesn't suck, I'll give you that," he laughs.

"He's not always a dick," I say. When I see that he's confused, I go on, "James. He's not always a dick. He tried to like Jack White, but he said it got old. Usually, if I'm with him, there's an unspoken 'No Jack' rule."

I feel him staring at me, "Well that's not really fair to you, is it? I mean, shouldn't he give a little? Especially when it comes to something you're so passionate about?"

"I suppose he should, but that's not really his style. He's not the 'anything for you, babe' type. He's more the 'this is how I want it, of course your happiness matters somewhat, but in the end I'm looking out for number one' type. He's never really pretended to be someone he's not. It's definitely annoying at times, but kinda refreshing at others."

Edward groans, "Please don't tell me you're into the whole 'bad boy' thing."

I laugh heartily at that, "James is totally not a 'bad boy'. Far from it, actually. He's very into appearances. Like, we were fighting tonight, but only because we were with our group. If we had been at school, or in mixed company, he would've been quick to forgive the burping. He would've excused me and made a charming joke about how he needs to feed me more regularly, so I don't eat so fast. We went to his father's country club once... oh my gosh, it was if I had stumbled into the town of Stepford, everyone was so perfect and nice."

The next song starts; I hear a few chords of 'Catch Hell Blues' and flip past it, "Oh, it's too soon for that one."

"What do you mean 'too soon'?" he asks.

Thank god it's dark in here or he would see me blush, "It's too soon in the relationship to share that one with you."

"Too soon in whose relationship?" he persists.

"Too soon in your relationship with Jack… duh."

I look at my iPod, see what's next and I hit pause quickly. I'll need to give him a disclaimer on this one.

"Um, so this next one makes me want to drive erratically. Don't be alarmed, I won't actually do it. It's a totally fair representation of The White Stripes though. With that said, I give you 'Black Math'."

I hit play and immediately have to tell myself not to jerk the steering wheel back and forth.

"Ah, I see what you mean about wanting to drive erratically. It's interesting."

"Exactly! Some of these songs actually bring on physical and emotional responses. It's amazing that a simple song can make you feel so many things. I get so frustrated with Mikey, because he just doesn't get it. I'd like to see Ke$ha make him feel like Jack White makes me feel when I hear him sing something like 'Apple Blossom'."

Edward doesn't say anything, so I take my eyes off of the road long enough to make sure he's still awake and I'm caught off guard when I see that he's looking at me intently.

"What?" I ask, concerned that something's wrong.

He shakes his head, "Nothing. I just admire your passion, that's all. So, what were you saying about the country club?"

"Huh?" It takes me a few seconds to realize what he's referring to, "Oh! Yeah, totally Stepford. I can't believe people like that actually exist in the world. I mean, I'm all for people being nice, but they were too polite for my taste. Fuck a buncha that! I can open my own fucking car door!"

"You don't like having doors opened for you?"

"If someone is in front of me and they want to hold the door for me, fantastic. What isn't fantastic is when someone, namely a guy, feels it's necessary to take a step forward to open my door when I have two perfectly good arms that are capable of performing feats of strength like that. Don't get me wrong, there are exceptions to this, but that's it for the most part."

"Your thought process is truly fascinating."

Aww, that's sweet, "Thanks, man!"

He gets back to the main topic of our conversation, "So what were you doing at the country club?"

"Oh, well we played a round of golf with his dad and uncles. I don't think you could've found a more devoted boyfriend in all the land that day. He really is decent when he's not being so cuntish."

Edward barks out a laugh, "I'm sorry, did you just say 'cuntish'?"

I smile, very proud of myself, "Indeed, I did!"

"I'm going to have to use that one sometime soon!" he says excitedly.

I giggle, "Knock yourself out, friend!"

"I will. So you play golf?"

"Not well." I confess, "I'm pretty much a spaz when it comes to anything physical like that. Granted, that doesn't stop me from trying, but make no mistake, I suck. I'm fully aware that I'll never be on the WPGA Tour and I'm okay with that."

He chuckles, "At least you can admit it."

"I know, right? I'm such a grounded person! So, is it weird living with someone you're dating? Wouldn't that be kind of smothering?" I've been dying to ask that question.

I see him nod in my peripheral, "Yeah, it can be a bit much at times, but what's better than being around your best friend 24/7?"

"I guess you have a point," I admit, then I come up with another one. "How long did you're parents know each other before they married?"

"Two weeks." he states.

"TWO WEEKS?" I shout.

He laughs, "Two weeks."

"H-how? And, and, and _Why?_" I stammer.

"You'd be better off asking them, but I think what it came down to is that they didn't want to live without one another. A week after they met, Dad got the word that he was being transferred again. He and Esme decided that they didn't want to spend even another day apart, so marriage was the natural solution. The fact that we get along well together was an added bonus for them."

He pauses for a second, "What are we listening to?"

"Ah, this would be 'So Far From Your Weapon', you like?"

"I really like," he confesses.

I can tell by his tone that he means it and I give a mental high-five to myself. I knew he was special. Something told me he'd be into this. I love being right.

"What's with the smirk?" Edward asks, calling me out.

"Oh I was just being proud of myself for being right about you." I say, truthfully.

"About what? Me being 100% super-awesome? If that's the case, I agree. I'm pretty fucking cool."

He's also pretty fucking adorable, but it would probably be a bad idea to tell him that, "Anyway... how do your parents feel about you and Jasper?"

He takes a minute to think about his answer, "I think it caught them off guard. I mean neither one of us really dated anyone. I met him when I was fourteen. They thought it was just young love and the fascination would die off. When they noticed it wasn't dying, but intensifying, they started taking it seriously. It took some getting used to, no doubt, but we all adjusted."

I offer a smile, "I think it's really cool you guys are so close, considering you're step-siblings. You hear all sorts of horror stories. You lucked out."

He chuckles, "Well, beings that two of us are dating, we had no choice really. It was either get along or be miserable. None of us are good at being miserable. That one was fun."

That last sentence was directed to the song that was just playing.

"Yes, it's totally fun." I agree, "That was 'Hotel Yorba'."

A drum starts, followed by a bass guitar, "'Steady As She Goes'."

"I know this one!" he sounds excited.

"This is the first appearance of The Raconteurs. They're fantastic." I inform him.

"I've played this on Guitar Hero. It's awesome! I've always wanted to learn it for real, but I never got around to it."

Wait, wait, wait... did he just let on that he plays the guitar?

I have to ask, "You play the guitar?"

"Sure do." he answers.

"For reals?" I'm practically drooling now.

He laughs, "Yeah, since I was five. I stopped for a while when I started playing football, but I plan on taking it up again."

Before I can stop myself, I say exactly what I'm thinking, "Holy fucking shit, that's hot!"

Oh my gosh, did I really just say that out loud? How mortifying!

I try to cover my ass, "I mean, I'm not saying _you're_ hot, I'm just saying, guys who play instruments are pretty hot. Well, except Kenny G. And Keith Richards. And that dude from Mötely Crüe. And I'm pretty sure I heard somewhere that Beethoven had the syph… nooo thank you!"

"Bella, it's okay. You think I'm hot. I mean, I can't help that I'm so damn sexy. It's the eyes, right? The ladies love my eyes. Shoot, these bitches be trippin'."

For a split second I think he's serious and I'm almost tempted to stop the truck and bid him fucking adieu, but I realize he's messing with me.

"Bitches be trippin'?" I ask, dryly.

He smiles, "Too much?"

"Little bit."

The next song starts, "Two, three four..."

I smile, more to myself than at him, "This is a live version of 'As Ugly As I Seem'."

"Sounds promising."

I don't respond, I just listen to the music and sing along quietly. My mind is still reeling at the fact that I kinda said he was hot. I mean, he totally is, but that doesn't mean I wanted him to know that I think he is. He's really awesome and the last thing I want is for there to be any awkwardness between us. Edward was just joking about his eyes, but they really are dazzling. They make you want to look at them forever. That goes for his lips, too… and his nose... and his jaw... and his brow... and his hair. Every inch of the guys is absolute perfection.

Nah, that can't be right. He has to have a flaw somewhere, I wonder what it is. I'll find out. I need to. Oh wait… he's got a boyfriend, BECAUSE HE'S FUCKING GAY! Right… I knew he was too perfect. This is a good thing though. I need to focus on that. He is not perfect. He is not available. He is not the most beautiful human being I've ever laid eyes on. Okay, that last one was a lie. He's totally beautiful. If our lives weren't in my hands right now, I'd be trying to stare at him instead of the road. I've been trying not to notice the tightness that has started to set in below my waist, but it's only getting worse.

Oh snap the fuck out of it, Bella! You've managed to get through most of your teen years without being a hormonal mess, there's no reason for you start this shit now. Besides, the only reason you're being like this is because James was being a dick today. If he had been on his best behavior, you wouldn't even be having these thoughts... at least I think you wouldn't. Nah, you totally would. Ha! Wow, self, thanks for that pep talk, or lack thereof. You're welcome. I snort at my ridiculousness.

Of course, Edward catches it, "What was that for?"

"What was what for?" I say in what I hope is a confused tone.

"I thought heard a snort or something."

I play it off, "Musta been the truck."

"Blackpool Lights." a voice says from the speakers. I squeal in excitement.

Mr. Jack White continues, "I heard George Harrison say The Beatles used to go and see Blackpool Lights, what is that?"

Edward interrupts, "And this would be?"

"Um, only the greatest cover of any song EVER!"

He laughs at me, "Still not answering the question."

I hit pause before I responding. There's no way I'm going to let him miss this, "You're familiar with Dolly Parton's 'Jolene', right?"

"I think? How's it go?"

I don't really like singing on my own, but fuck it, it's for the greater good. I take a breath before singing a little of the chorus, "Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Joooleeene."

"YES! I do know that one!" he shouts triumphantly. "My grandma is a fan."

Fucking-A! I knew he would know it, "Good. This is The White Stripes' take on it. You ready?"

"Is this something I have to mentally prepare for?" He obviously doesn't get it yet.

"Uh, yeah! You need to be sure you're ready to handle the perfection that is this song!" I realize that I probably sound psychotic, but I don't give a fuck, this is 'Jolene' we're talking about.

He takes a few deep breaths, "Okay. Hit me."

I push play and let Jack plead with Jolene. Not that I don't love and appreciate Dolly Parton, but in my opinion this song didn't exist until Jack sang it. You don't notice the fact that he's a man, pleading with a woman not to take _his_ man; you just notice the desperation in his voice as he's begging that bitch not to steal his reason for being. I don't think I was being too dramatic when I referred to it as perfection, because it totally is. I'm so fortunate that I downloaded this particular version when I did, because according to Angela it's not available on iTunes anymore, which is a tragedy, because this song is totally fuck-awesome!

I really hope Edward likes this one. Okay, that's a lie. I hope he _loves _this one. Of course, I can't imagine anyone not liking this song. Hell, I even made Emmett a believer after he listened to it. I just want Edward to recognize the greatness, or at the very least appreciate it. I'm fully aware that Jack White isn't everyone's bag, but damn it, no one can deny the man's talent.

"Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene...pleeeeeease don't take him... ... ...even though you can." the final chord is played and the song ends.

The cab is silent, then I hear Edward say quietly, "Can we listen to that again?"

Oh yeah, I was totally right about him and I think the tingles are setting up permanent shop in my girlie parts.

**The track list for Edward's Education CD**

1 - I Cut Like a Buffalo  
2 - Apple Blossom  
3 - Many Shades of Black  
4 - Icky Thump  
5 - Blue Orchid  
6 - The Union Forever  
7 - Broken Boy Soldiers  
8 - Hello Operator  
9 - Ball and Biscuit  
10 - Salute Your Solution  
11 - One More Cup of Coffee  
12 - When I Hear My Name  
13 - Red Rain  
14 - The Nurse  
15 - Dead Leaves and the Dirty Ground  
16 - Rag and Bone  
17 - Carolina Drama  
18 - Will There Be Enough Water?

Yeah… good stuff! :o)

Beta Note: Please, do yourself a favor… watch the song she speaks of: http:/www . youtube . com/watch?v=4m5KrPXL4wI&feature=related


	9. We're Gonna Be Friends

Author's Note and Disclaimer:

Sorry for the delay in posting... this one needed a lot of tweaking. :o)

Amanda… remember how you let me use George on Friday night and I didn't accomplish shit? Yeah... I'm lame. I guess it still worked out though... I was able to cyber stalk that I.T. guy, so yeah... good times. Thank you!

THANKS to all of the readers! :o) You guys are awesome!

Most character names and all song titles and lyrics do NOT belong to me; they are the property of Stephenie Meyer, The White Stripes, Miss Parton and The Raconteurs respectively.

Again, thank you all so much and please keep enjoying the story!

Beta Note: Sorry you're getting this alert again - ffn wasn't having the way a part of the dialog was spelled out... it's fixed now!

**We're Gonna Be Friends**

Chapter 9

**EDWARD**

- what exactly does he mean by 'cut like a buffalo'?

I flip my phone closed and wait for a response. I'm just now starting the CD Bella made me. When I got home last night Alice gave me the third degree. By the time I made it to my room, I was too tired to focus on anything, so I didn't even attempt it.

It's currently 6:30 in the morning. Although I'm wide awake, I don't want to get out of bed. I just want to lie here and reflect on the drive home last night. In the end; we listened to 'Jolene' three times. The third time was her idea, though I wasn't about to complain. I was kind of bummed when I saw that it wasn't on the CD she made for me, but she promised I could come over soon and put the video on my iPod.

My phone vibrates.

- _wtf, man! it's only 6:30!_

- lol. sorry, I figured you'd be up doing whatever girls do in the morning.

- _not so much. sexual prowess._

- excuse me?

- _many people think he's referring to his sexual prowess. meaning - I fuck like a buffalo. meaning - very forcefully._

- oh. interesting.

- _other thoughts are that he's claiming he's a force to be reckoned with. either way, the song's kick ass._

- yeah... it's not bad.

- _now leave me alone, i'mma go back to sleep for 7 minutes. ;)_

Before I can even put my phone down, it vibrates again.

- _you're just NOW listening to it?_

- sorry. I didn't get to my room until after 12. blame alice.

- _excuses, excuses. now really... leave me alone. I only have 5 minutes left._

I smile. I wonder what she expects to gain from just five more minutes of sleep. The next song starts. It's a fun little tune. I look at the track list she gave me, 'Apple Blossom'. I think she might've mentioned this one last night. I'm contemplating finally getting out of bed, when Alice strolls in uninvited.

"You're not even out of bed yet?" she questions.

"Um, I think the answer to that is fairly obvious, considering you can clearly see that I'm not."

She rolls her eyes at me, "Whatevs. We're leaving soon. Go. Take a shower. I'll pick out something for you to wear."

I crawl out of bed and grab the CD from my stereo. On my way past, I pat Alice on the head, "Thanks, Al."

When I get to the bathroom, I put the CD in the player and start with 'Apple Blossom'. This one is kind of catchy. I brush my teeth and hum along with the tune as I wait for the shower to get hot. I think about shaving, but decide to let it go for another day. The shower is warm enough and I step in, still humming. As I finish shampooing, the next song begins. It starts with a guitar and I'm immediately into it. Good thing I don't know the words... I've never met a shower I didn't want to sing in. Somehow, I'm able to resist the urge to make up my own words. I finish up as the song comes to a close and I head back to my room. I see that Alice has laid out my clothes: Skinny jeans and the blazer and shirt I bought last night shopping with Bella. She even pulled out my Chucks to wear with it. God love her.

I get dressed and check my hair in the mirror. Messy... just the way I like it. I grab my bag, swing by the bathroom to get my CD and make my way to the kitchen for some breakfast. Esme's already there, which means I'm guaranteed something decent.

"'Morning, sweetie! What'll it be?" she asks, smiling at me.

I return her smile, "Hmmm, scrambled eggs? Bacon?"

"You got it, tough stuff! Have a seat!" she gestures to the stools sitting at the island in the middle of the room. I take a seat.

She starts whisking the eggs, "So, you got back so late last night and then Alice kidnapped you, I didn't get to ask how your first day went."

"It went well. We made some friends; did the others tell you?"

She chuckles, "Good Lord, yes. Rosie hasn't stopped talking about this boy Emmett. Apparently he has a nice truck?"

I nod, "Oh yes. A Ford F350."

"Ahh, well that would explain it. Marcus always wanted one of those. I think it rubbed off on her."

Esme doesn't speak of her ex- husband often, but when she does, it's always in a fond manner. Her kindness knows no bounds. It's just one of the many reasons why we adore her.

"I also hear that Emmett has a sister," she says as she searches the fridge for bacon.

"I'm sure you did," I offer.

"I hear she's really pretty."

She's about as subtle as a monkey flinging feces.

I smirk at her, "Eh, if you like that long hair, big boobs kinda thing, I guess she's okay."

She turns and raises an eyebrow at me, "Just okay?"

"Oh Esme, you know I don't notice such things. I only have eyes for Jasper." I say innocently.

She turns back to the stove, "Sure, sure. Be that way. I'll just ask Alice. I'm sure she'll give me details and won't embellish a bit."

I groan. She totally knows how to get information from people, "Oh fine. She's gorgeous, Esme! She made me a mix CD. She's funny and she seems smart. She's not afraid to be herself. She likes to participate in sports, even though she sucks at them. She drives this old beat-up truck that's so loud, it's scary. Her smile is... well, it's amazing. It lights up her whole face. Emmett calls her 'Balls' and it doesn't faze her at all. She's like one of the guys."

I stop because Esme is now staring at me, slack jawed. Maybe I said too much. I couldn't help it though. Esme is just one if those people you always end up spilling your guts to. She had Rosalie providing the details of her first sexual experience just by offering her a cookie. The woman has a gift.

She finishes up my breakfast, sits the plate in front of me and finally asks, "So, where does this leave things?"

I take a bite of food to bide some time before answering. I'm not even sure myself where his leaves things. Something Bella said about James last night keeps popping up in my head, 'He's never really pretended to be someone he's not.' This doesn't bode well for me.

"Edward?" Esme's still waiting for an answer.

I shrug, "It doesn't leave anything anywhere. Things are still going according to plan."

"Edward, are you su..."

I cut her off, "Esme, this is delectable! Really, thank you so much."

She knows I'm finished talking about Bella. Being the fantastic woman that she is, she doesn't push the subject.

"I'm glad you like it, sweetie. No one else ever wants breakfast." she says that last sentence loudly, as my step-brother and sister walk in the room.

"Mom, you know I don't like to eat in the morning. I end up feeling bloated for at least half the day." Rosalie says, hugging her mother as she passes by.

"Ma, did you get fruit?" Jasper asks, kissing her cheek.

She beams at him, "Of course. There's a huge bowl of berries in the fridge."

Alice skips into the room and immediately comes over to steal bacon from my plate.

I push her away, "Get off, thief!"

"Edward, don't push your sister. Alice dear, if you want bacon, I'll fry you some." Esme says.

Alice smiles at her sweetly, "I'm good. I just wanted that one piece of Edward's. He'll get over it. Won't you, Eddie?"

I flip Alice off. Esme tries not to laugh, "Edward, those kinds of gestures should be reserved for bad drivers and small children."

I snort, "How is it that you were found fit to raise kids?"

"People are easily fooled by my charm," she winks.

Alice manages to steal another piece of bacon, "Everybody ready?"

We all nod. I put my plate in the sink, thank Esme again and join the others as we make our way out. When we get in the car, I start the engine, put the CD in and skip to where I left off.

Alice and Jasper are taking full advantage of their time together in the back, so Rosalie is sitting up front with me.

"So, how'd things go with Bella last night?"

I back out of our drive, "Um, she drove me home. We listened to some music. That's about it."

I can practically hear her rolling her eyes at me, "Come on, Edward. Spill."

"There's nothing to spill, Rosalie. She and I are going to be friends."

"Friends?" I can tell she doesn't believe me.

"What's wrong with that?" I ask.

"Well nothing I guess, it's just a little boring, that's all."

She sounds disappointed.

I decide to direct the conversation elsewhere, "Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you, Miss Hale. How did things go with Emmett?"

She practically bounces in her seat, "Fabulous! He's just… he's so… he's really… well, he's everything!"

"Meaning?" I'm going to need her to specify.

"He's just everything. He's cute. I mean those dimples are amazing! He's a football player, which is great! I'm thinking I might try out for the cheerleading squad. He's so funny! I can't remember the last time I laughed that hard with someone. He's just a genuinely nice guy. He's nice to everyone! Then to top it all off, there's that truck. I'm just… I… I… well, I've never met anyone like him."

I can't decide what's more disturbing: The fact that Rosalie wants to try out for the cheerleading squad, or the fact that she's at a loss for words. Rosalie has never expressed a desire to do any sort of physical activity, well unless it has to do with a hot guy and a dark room… or car… or closet… or stairwell. And she's never been the type to have to search for her words. Looks like Emmett Swan has had quite the effect on her.

"Say something, please." she begs.

"I don't know what you want me to say. I mean, I think it's great that you dig him so much."

"But…" she urges.

"Are you really sure you want to try out for cheerleading?"

"Edwaaaaard!" she whines. "I give you _ALL_ of that and the only thing you focus on is the part about cheerleading?"

Jasper comes to my rescue from the back, "I'm with Edward on this one. The only part of your rant that stood out was that sentence."

"See? This right here is the reason why neither one of you could ever really be gay!" Rosalie huffs.

Alice tries her hand at diffusing the situation, "Rose, I have no doubt you'd be a fantastic cheerleader, so long as you applied yourself. Do you have concerns with Emmett?"

Rosalie takes a few moments to collect her thoughts before speaking, "He's everything I look for in a guy, right? What if his perfection becomes boring?"

"Is the even possible?" Alice sounds confused.

"I don't know! That's why I'm asking!" Rosalie is on the verge of shrieking.

Jasper steps up this time, "Rose, speaking from experience, if it's the real thing, there's no way you'll ever be bored."

Rosalie relaxes a little, "You really think so?"

He nods and pats her shoulder, "I haven't tired of Mary Alice yet and I can't imagine I ever will."

Rosalie exhales, "Well, that makes me feel a little better. Thanks."

"You're very welcome," Jasper says, turning his attention back to my sister.

"Edward, what're we listening to?" Rosalie asks.

There's no way for me to get around this. Maybe if I say it quickly enough, it'll have less impact, "This-is-the-Jack-White-CD-Bella-made-for-me."

She tilts her head to the side, "Awwwwwwwwwww!"

"Don't start," I warn.

"I'm not starting anything," she pauses for a beat. "Did you find out why she's dating that dick?"

I groan, "Apparently he isn't always like that. He's honest and he doesn't pretend to be someone he's not, blah blah blah."

Rosalie chuckles at me, "But you're not bitter."

I smirk at her, "Nope, not at all."

We hear her phone beep. She looks at it and smiles. It must be a text from Emmett. Since I know she won't be talking to me for the rest of the ride, I turn the music up. It's only my first time through the CD, but I already can tell I love it. It's not the most melodic stuff I've ever heard, but it's fucking good nonetheless. I can't wait to see Bella so I can thank her again. Oh shit, I probably won't even get a chance to see her until lunch. Hopefully I'll be able to score a seat next to her again, that would be ideal. Of course I'm just assuming we'll be invited to sit with them again. That might not be the case today. I don't see why it wouldn't be, but I just don't want to assume I belong at their table after just one day.

The school comes into view, "Heads up guys, we're nearly there."

Alice and Jasper shift to opposite sides of the backseat, lest someone sees them canoodling to closely. Rosalie does a quick makeup check in her mirror and I try to get myself in 'gay mode'. As we pull into the parking lot, I search for Bella's truck. I don't see it, but I do see Emmett's and so does Rosalie.

She squeals, "Yay! He brought it!"

I pull into the spot next to it without her having to ask. I'm afraid what she would've done otherwise.

Rosalie sighs, "Isn't she just beautiful?"

"It's just a truck, Rose," Alice teases as she's getting out of the backseat.

"Bitch, I will cut you," Rosalie seethes at her.

Alice giggles and turns to walk to the school.

Jasper holds his hand out to me, "Shall we?"

I take a deep breath, "Well I guess it's now or never."

I take his hand and we follow behind Alice, leaving Rosalie to dry hump Emmett's truck.

"Eddie, I have a very important question to ask you," Jasper says as we pass a group of people he must recognize, because he waves at them.

I sigh, "Yes, dear?"

He stops walking abruptly, turns around and pulls up the back of his shirt, "Do these pants make my ass look fat?"

I try to stifle my laughter, "Not at all, Pookie. In fact, I rather like the way they make your ass look."

"Oh, well then fabulous! After all, my ass only really cares about pleasing you."

He takes my hand again and we continue on our way.

"Oh heeeey!" we hear someone shout and turn to see Mikey skipping toward us.

"Oh heeeeey!" Jasper shouts in response and waves to him.

Mikey looks us both up and down before saying anything, "Eddie, I absolutely love what you've done here today. That stubble is very McSteamy."

I have no idea who the fuck he's talking about, but judging by the look on his face, it's meant to be a compliment, I reply appropriately, "Awww, thanks Mikey."

"You're most welcome, sugar! Anywho, I'll see you two later. I need to see if I can catch Isabella before first period."

We say our goodbyes to him as we walk into the building. Jasper and I head to our lockers. The fact that we're still holding hands is not lost on anyone. We get plenty of stares, but no one says anything. When we get to my locker, I release his hand. He gives me a quick goodbye before he heads to his own locker and then I'm left alone. What's my first class? Ah, Home Economics. That sounds like an easy class to start the day with.

"Hey Edward!"

I turn towards the voice, it's Seth, "Hey kid! How're you this morning?"

Seth grins, "I'm good. You?"

"I'm well. Where is everyone?" I can't help asking.

"I just saw Em and Rose walk into the science wing. Bells rode with James this morning, so I'm not sure where she is. As for everyone else? Well your guess is just as good as mine."

I smile, "Thanks kid! I'll see you later, right?"

"You know it!" He walks away and I truck on to class.

I get there and see that the room is divided into two areas, the classroom and the kitchen. I move to sit at one of the tables when my gaze falls on the chalk board:

SPLIT INTO PAIRS AND SELECT A KITCHEN...3 PAIRS, PER KITCHEN!

I look around, hopeful that I'll see someone I know. Thankfully, I see a familiar head of hair in one of the kitchens, so that's where I go.

"Edward, oh yay!" Alice claps her hands when she sees me. It's only then that I notice that Angela, J and Mikey are standing with her.

"Eddie! Had I known this is where you were ultimately headed, I so would've walked with you!" Mikey says.

"It's no problem. I found my way just fine." I turn to J, "I'm starting to think that you're stalking me."

J laughs, "I was here first, man. If anything you're stalking me! I mean, I know I'm cute, but come on."

Angela shakes her head, "Edward, I'd find someone else to stalk if I were you. J's pretty fucking dull."

"Now why do you have to call me out like that, Angie?" J fake pouts.

"Because it's funny," she smiles and punches his arm.

"Edward, you need a kitchen partner," Alice tells me.

I smile at her, "That's what I keep you around for, Al!"

"Yeah, that's sweet and all, but I already told Mikey I'd be his partner. He was here first, you know?"

I groan and look around the room, unsure about who to ask, when my savior walks through the door wearing a familiar t-shirt and listening to her iPod. Before I can even raise my hand to wave her over, Mikey starts jumping around as if he's having a seizure.

"ISABELLA! ISABELLA! OVER HERE, OVER HERE, OVER HERE!" he shouts to her.

"Mikey, calm down. You look like you're having a seizure," Angela says to him. I really like that girl.

Mikey ignores her and keeps waving. Bella sees us, gives an awkward wave and makes her way over.

"Well hey there, party people! Here I thought I was going to suffer through this class on my own. Mikey, you with me?" she asks, nudging his shoulder.

He shakes his head, "No can do, Isabella. Little Alice already snatched me up. Eddie is partner-free though."

"Coolio." she smiles and comes to stand next to me. "I hope you're a good cook, because I fucking suck."

Looks like this class isn't going to be as easy as I thought it was going to be.

"Well, I don't suck, but I'm not great. I think we'll be okay as long as we're following a recipe." I reassure her.

"That's a relief. How far have you gotten on that CD?"

I was afraid she was going to ask this, "Um, not very far. 'Apple Blossom' is great. I couldn't get it out if my head this morning. The one after that I really dug, but I can't think of the title."

"How's it go?"

"Something like 'Everybody sees and everyone agrees'." I stop there, because she's nodding.

"'Many Shades of Black'. That's a great one. Obviously, right, or else I wouldn't have put it on there," she laughs.

I smile, "Right. Thanks again. I can't wait to listen to the rest of it."

"Hello class and good morning. I'm Mrs. Hoyt." The teacher says from the front of the room. "I trust that you've all selected your partners and kitchens. Please remember which kitchen you're in, for you'll be spending a good deal of your mornings there this year. Now, as I call your names, please come and take a seat at the tables up front."

She goes through a few names before she gets to mine, J's being one of them. I guess seating us in alphabetical order is going to help her memorize us faster. This doesn't help my cause though. Bella's on the other side of the room now. No sooner does that thought go through my head before my phone vibrates in my pocket. Mrs. Hoyt is occupied at the moment, so I'm able to check my message. I'm excited and surprised to see it's from Bella.

- _can you keep a secret?_

My mind immediately starts racing as to what she wants to tell me:

I broke up with James this morning.

I think you're hot.

I want you to grope me in the janitor's closet.

I'm not wearing any panties.

I shift in my seat a little at the thought of that last one before I respond.

- sure thing.

Across the room, I see her read my text and type her response. My phone buzzes a moment later.

- _i'm actually really glad you're my partner and not mikey. :)_

This time, when I look over at her, she's looking back at me and smiling.

- well shucks, thanks pretty lady. i'm glad to have you too!

- _p.s. does sonny crocket know you stole his stubble?_

- wow. so clever. how long did it take you to think of that one?

- _a while. that's sad to admit, since it was pretty weak. lol._

- nah, i liked it. :)

"Edward, put your phone away. It's rude." Alice whispers next to me. I don't have it in me to piss her off right now, so I do as she says.

As Mrs. Hoyt starts reviewing the rules of the classroom, I feel my phone vibrate. I want to check it, but she just mentioned something about no texting during class, so I don't think it's a good idea. And quite frankly I'm afraid of what Alice would do to me. Call me a wuss if you want, but that pipsqueak has a nasty fucking kick. My phone vibrates again. I try my best to ignore it and focus on the teacher, which is more difficult than I'd like it to be. I try to split my attention between Mrs. Hoyt and Bella, Alice calls me out, so I behave myself.

Twenty minutes and approximately fifteen texts later, if I counted the buzzes properly, the bell rings. Everyone moves slowly to collect their things, still lethargic due to the early hour. Our kitchen group is the last ones to walk out.

"What'd you guys think?" J asks, leading the way.

"I think she's nice. She took Mikey's question about beadazzling seriously, so that's gotta count for something," Angela answers.

"That was a serious question!" Mikey scoffs.

Bella smirks at him now, "Since when do you like beadazzling? And why are you in our class anyway? You're a senior!"

I think she hit a nerve. Mikey starts wagging his finger at her, "Okay Miss Isabella, FIRST of all, I was totally serious about bedazzling! I have some jeans I'd like to spruce up. And SECOND of all, most seniors take Home Ec. their junior year, I didn't. I saved it this year for a 'coaster' course."

Bella throws her hands up in defense, "Whoa, whoa, little lady... calm down. It was just a question."

"Whatevs. I'm late for trig." With that, he stomps off down the call by himself.

We start laughing as soon as he's out of sight.

"Oh, I really like him." Alice says, still laughing.

"Yeah," J agrees. "He's good entertainment."

"Come on guys, we have English." Angela has taken upon l herself to keep us on task.

Bella groans, "You lucky bastards. I have Spanish."

J throws an arm around her shoulders, "Don't be sad, Bells. You'll see us at lunch."

"Whatevs. Later, friends." She starts to walk away, but turns around, "Edward, for fuck's sake, check your text messages."

I open my mouth to respond, but she's already well on her way down the hall.

Alice walks up and pulls at my sleeve, "Come on, Eddie. Now."

I know better than to argue and I let her drag me away. As we're walking, I check my texts.

- _oh. well good. there're way more lame jokes where that came from._

- _awww, you put your phone away. :( did alice threaten you?_

- _teehee... you have way more will power than i do. i would HAVE to look._

- _let's play a game, shall we? i'mma ask you 10 questions. answer honestly, please. :) it'll kill time during other classes._

- _1. what's your middle name?_

- _2. where did you live before jacksonville? before that? before that? etc._

- _3. where's your mom? jasper and rosalie's dad?_

- _4. when did you come out? how?_

- _5. favorite color?_

- _6. how do you take your coffee?_

- _7. dogs or cats?_

- _8. favorite tv show(s)?_

- _9. do you read? if so, what?_

- _10. in my overzealousness about jack, i neglected to ask who your favorite band is, i suck. tell me now. :)_

- _k...that's it. see you at lunch, but I better hear from you beforehand. :)_

"I know that smile, Edward," Alice says quietly. "You promised."

I look at her confused, "I haven't done anything."

"Yet." she mutters under her breath.

I ignore Alice and think my answers. I also start thinking of some questions of my own. This morning suddenly got very interesting.


	10. Wasting My Time

Author's Note and Disclaimer:

And so we meet again...

I'd like to send out huge thank yous and happy thoughts to all of the readers/reviewers. It makes me infinitely happy that you seem to dig my story. :o)

Amanda, my little chalupa, I only have two things to say to you: French Lady and Hot Air Balloon

Most character names and all song titles, TV shows, book titles and band names do NOT belong to me; they are the property of Stephenie Meyer, The White Stripes and a number of other talented people, respectively.

Thanks again!

***Wasting My Time***

Chapter 10

**BELLA**

"¿Mi amo Isabella?"

"¡Muy bien señorita Swan!"

"¿Gracias?"

Señor Treviño moves on to someone else. Thank fuck for that because I suck at Spanish. Yes, I realize it's a good language to learn, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. The lights on my cell start to flash... _FINALLY_!

- _tell me something nice i can do for rosie._

Ugh, not the person I was expecting.

- fuck emmers. i'm trying to learn spanish here!

- _help me out and ill leave u alone._

I want to suggest flowers, but that seems too easy. The truth is I don't know Rosalie well enough to know what to suggest. I bet Alice would know, or better yet...

- ask jasper.

- _good idea! thanks balls. see that wasnt so hard was it?_

I sigh and go back to taking notes... well _acting_ like I'm taking notes. Why hasn't Edward responded? English isn't so taxing that he shouldn't have time to text me. Maybe he doesn't want to answer my questions. I guess it's possible, but I don't see why he wouldn't. They weren't very personal, at least I don't think they were. Maybe it was a little nosy of me to ask about his mom, but if he doesn't want to discuss it, he could just say so. I certainly don't want him to be offended by any of the questions either. I should know better. I should've asked if he wanted to answer, before I started asking. He probably thinks I'm being presumptuous, asking questions as if I expect all of the answers to everything. I don't want him to think any of these things; I just want to know him better. My cell flashes again and my heart jumps in my chest, then I see the name.

Fucking James.

- _babe, do we have plans tonight?_

Since when does he care if we have plans?

- not that i know of. what's up?

- _tyler wanted me to watch the game with him._

- knock yourself out.

- _you're the best, babe._

He's up to something. He has to be. Okay, that's unfair; he's been pretty sweet today. I was blown away this morning when I walked out of my house to see him waiting for me; even more so when he presented me with a scone and a latte from my favorite coffee shop. I know I should've questioned it at the time, but I was too busy stuffing my face. I'll have to get to the bottom of this. No way is he doing this out of the goodness of his heart.

Wait. What the fuck is wrong with me? Most girls would be happy if their boyfriends were doting on them, but it just makes me suspicious. It's not that doting is a bad thing; it's just not typical of James. I just wish I knew what's caused this change. Maybe our spat last night had an effect on him. Maybe he's going to turn over a new leaf. I don't know how I feel about this. My cell is lighting up again. Gheez, can't these jokers just leave me the fuck alone?

- _anthony masen. i'm so bad ass, they gave me two middle names._

It takes me a second to realize who it's from and then I can't keep the smile off of my face. I guess all that worry was for nothing. Before I can process anything, another message comes through.

- _going backward: san diego, ca - jacksonville, fl - cherry point, nc - gulfport, ms - beaufort, sc ...these are only since 2007._

Holy Hannah! The concept of living anywhere but Forks is alien to me. The only time I've been out of the state was when we went to Arizona to visit Nanny Swan.

- _my mom's name is katherine (kate). she lives in new orleans. rosalie and jasper's dad (marcus) lives in detroit._

I gasp and several people look my way. It couldn't be helped though. The Hotel Yorba is in Detroit. _Jack White_ is from Detroit! I start to mention this to him, but another message comes in.

- _i never officially had to come out of the closet. i've always just been accepted for who i am. my family is really open-minded._

I finally manage to pull myself together enough to respond.

- that's really cool... that your family is supportive like that.

- _yeah, they're fantastic. oh and my favorite color is blue._

The bell rings. I collect my shit and roll to English. Seriously, whose bright fucking idea was it to give me Spanish and English back to back? That's fucked up right there. It's like they're testing me on whether or not I can keep my languages in check. Fuck. That. Since I'm stuck in hallway traffic, I text Edward back.

- any particular blue?

I come up behind Emmett and smack him on the back of the head.

"WHO THE FU..." he whips around angry, but calms down when he sees it's just me. "Balls, don't do that shit! I could've punched you!"

I laugh at him, "Oh yeah, you're so violent."

"Jasper was a no-go." he pouts.

I could've sworn that Jasper was the man to ask, "He didn't have any suggestions?"

"Oh he had suggestions."

My brow furrows, "What's that mean?"

Emmett sighs, "He suggested I have a calendar made of myself, posing in boxer briefs."

I try really hard to keep a straight face, but realize it's useless. Pretty soon I'm doubled over with laughter.

"I fail to see how this is a laughing matter," Emmett says without a trace of a smile on his face.

I try to form a response, but I can't even breathe at this point.

"Fuck you," he scowls, then walks off to his next class, leaving me alone and on the verge of peeing my pants because I'm still laughing. I only snap out of it when happen to notice that my cell is flashing again.

- _preferably royal blue. i like cream and sugar in my coffee. lattes are better though. honey vanilla. amazing._

Mmmmm... latte. I'll have to introduce him to my coffee shop soon; I think he'll appreciate it. It's one place I'm allowed to go by myself. I'm sure that has something to do with the fact that it's right across the street from the police station.

By the time I take my seat in English I have another text.

- _dogs. duh._

- big or small?

- _the bigger, the better!_

- hells yeah. :)

I love dogs. I've been trying to convince my dad to let me get another one for years, but no dice. J lets me share his old hound Ripley. She adores me! It kind of pisses Emmett off, because she always growls at him...James too! If we're ever at J's house and I'm annoyed with him, I'll just go sit next to Ripley. If James comes within three feet of me, she flips out. It's quite entertaining.

Mrs. French welcomes us back to another day and, after taking attendance, she passes out our text books. Just as I'm about to nod off, my cell blinks again…

- _in no particular order: lost. true blood. iron chef. gossip girl._

HE'S A LOSTIE? Oh sweet baby Jesus!

- i'm making you my new best friend. it's official.

- _?_

- omg. lost? BEST. SHOW. EVER. hands down. no contest.

- _lol. you'll get no argument from me there. :)_

- iron chef? okay, i have a very important question: american or original?

- _original all the fucking way._

- HUZZAH! for real, fuck bobby flay!

- _omg... morimoto's the shit!_

- um, chef sakai is the shit, my friend.

- _yeah, but only when morimoto's not around. :)_

- whatevs. i haven't checked out true blood, but i'm all about gossip girl. surprised you watch it.

- _are you joking?_

- ha. now that i think about it, it's not surprising at all.

"Miss Swan?" I hear the teacher address me.

Fuck. What did she say? Did she ask me a question? I look at her and one of her eyebrows is arched as if she's waiting for me to answer a question. I say the first thing that comes to my mind.

"¡Mi amo Isabella!"

Everyone starts laughing. Mrs. French doesn't, unfortunately, "Yes Miss Swan, I know your name; however, that wasn't what I asked."

I know that I've gone red. There's no use in trying to act like I know what she said, "I'm sorry, ma'am. Would you please repeat the question?"

She actually huffs, "Miss Swan, I asked if we were disturbing your text messaging."

Well that's a big 10-4, you uppity bitch! Honestly, what the fuck kind of name is 'Mrs. French' for a fucking English teacher? Calm down, Bella. Be polite.

"I'm so sorry, ma'am. I'll put the phone away now."

She smiles sweetly at me, "Thank you, Miss Swan. Now if you would be so kind as to read the first three pages for us."

I smile back just as sweetly at that fucking ass-whore and read the first three pages aloud, as requested. After that, I determine that checking my messages is a lost cause, what with Bitchy von Douche on the lookout. Edward will just have to wait.

Fifteen minutes later I walk out of class and check my cell. I have four texts from Edward and three from Mikey. I skip over Edward's and go straight for Mikey's.

- _u think jazz and eddie are happy_?

- _cuz jazz doesnt talk about him that much._

- _hes so hot._

I shake my head at the ridiculousness that is little Mikey Newton. He's not used to being around other gays on a regular basis. The only chance he gets is when he goes to the gay bar in Portland. It's only natural that he'd want to believe he had a chance, but Jasper is very much taken. I'll have to let him down.

- i don't see why they wouldn't be happy. i don't talk about james all the time and i'm happy enough.

Now, onto Edward's texts…

- _i love to read. i'm into memoirs right now. 'running with scissors' was a great book, so was the follow-up 'dry'. augusten burroughs… check him out!_

- _i dig some of the classics as well… 'slaughterhouse five' and 'a clockwork orange'. i like reading biographies._

- _actually i'll read anything as long as it catches my attention._

- _no kerouac though. i had to read 'on the road' for class last year. biggest waste of time ever!_

I'm a little bummed that he didn't list any 'Harry Potter' books. Sure, they're geared towards kids, but those books are phenomenal! I wonder if I could talk him into checking them out.

Before I can text him back, I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn to see James, smiling.

"Hey babe! Notice I didn't grab you this time."

I frown at him, "Why are you so fucking chipper?"

He shrugs, "Is it so unusual for a guy to be nice to his girlfriend?"

"Guys? No. You? Yes."

"You're always so suspicious!" he says, smirking and before I can even process what he's doing, he reaches up and presses on the tip of my nose. "Boop!"

I take a giant fucking step back, "Dude! What the _FUCK_?"

He steps forward and wraps his arms around my waist, "Oh, Bella-Wella, calm down. I'm just in a really good mood."

I frown at him, but I don't pull away, "You do realize that, within the span of a minute, you've booped my nose, referred to me as 'Bella-Wella' and admitted to being in a good mood, right?"

"Mmmhmmm," he grins at me.

"James, what happened to you last night?"

He kisses me on the cheek and lets me go, "We're going to be late for class."

James walks away and I'm left standing by myself in the hallway, wondering what the fuck just happened. This behavior from him is unprecedented, so I'm not sure how to take it. As I turn around to continue on to class, I collide with someone. I mutter out an 'I'm sorry' and start walking again, when the 'someone' grabs my arm.

"Bella, are you okay?"

I look up to see Jasper staring at me with great concern. Seriously, it's no wonder Mikey's into him, he's pretty fucking hot.

"Oh, hey Jasper. Yeah, I'm good. My boyfriend was just being nice to me, it caught me off guard."

He chuckles and starts walking with me, "Yeah, I can see how that could throw you off."

"I know, right?"

"What you do suppose the cause is?" he asks in the southern drawl that I remember from yesterday.

I shrug, "Beats me. Maybe his mom served up the blueberry Eggos this morning, instead of the regular old buttermilk. Why do they call them 'Eggos'? I mean, they don't really taste or look anything like eggs."

He opens his mouth to respond, but I keep talking, "I don't know. I'm going to have to ask him though, because this shit is weird. He must want something. HA! If he thinks being nice is going to get me to go down on him, he is sorely mistaken. Uh fuck…Uh NO! You know, I can't remember the last time he's gone a full day without bitching at me about something. Well, there was Saturday. Oh no… no, he bitched about me wrestling with one of Seth's friends. He's such an ass."

I look to my left to make sure that Jasper is still there, because he's being so quiet. When I see that he is, I realize that I must sound like the most horrible girlfriend in the world.

"I'm the worst girlfriend ever, aren't I? I know I am. The man brings me breakfast this morning and I automatically think he's got some sort of ulterior motive. I don't know, maybe after last night's shenanigans he's finally realized that he shouldn't be such a dick to me. And rightly so! I'm a great catch, right? I'm not a mutant and I'm smart and I'm funny and I'm not clingy. I pretty much let him do his own thing. I'd be more than happy to go the whole week without even talking to him and all I'd want in return is common fucking courtesy. Now that he seems to be giving me just that, I'm all suspicious. What the fuck is wrong with me?"

"Would you like my honest opinion, Bella?" Jasper asks, as if he even needed to.

"Yes, please!" I practically beg.

He takes a deep breath, "Honestly, I think he's a dick and I think you deserve better. Yesterday I thought he might've been having a bad day, so I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, but now that you've just told me he's like that pretty much all of the time, I'm having an overwhelming feeling of hostility towards him."

Wow. I wasn't really expecting _that_ much honesty. Jasper hasn't even known me 24 hours and he already thinks I'm an idiot for being with James. No, he didn't come out and actually say it, but it was totally implied. I stop when I realize that we've come to my classroom.

He nudges my arm, "Keep in mind that I just met the both of you. A week from now, I might be applauding James for putting up with you for so long."

I smile at him, "Thanks Jasper. This really helped. I appreciate it."

He smiles back at me, "Anytime, darlin'. Tell Alice 'hi' for me and that I'll see her at lunch."

"No problem. You're sitting with us, right?" I ask.

"Sure, just so long as we're welcome."

"Are you crazy? Of course you are! It's an open-ended invitation, man!" I tell him.

"Awww, that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy."

I roll my eyes at him, "Shut the fuck up and get to class, Miss Jazzy."

He chuckles and walks away in the direction we just came from. Where the fuck is he going? Now that I think about it, he had been going in the opposite direction as me when I bumped into him. I ponder this as I walk to my desk and sit down. Alice is already there.

"Bella? What's wrong?" she sounds worried.

I'm sure my brow is still furrowed as I turn to her, "Nothing really. I ran into Jasper on my way here. Like literally _ran_ into him. I had just talked to James and I was kind of bewildered, if you will? Anyhow, Jasper walked with me to class and talked through my bewilderment," I explain.

Alice looks confused, "And?"

"'And' nothing. It was just really sweet of him and I didn't expect it, that's all. He says 'hi', by the way. And that he'll see you at lunch. You guys are sitting with us again," I smile and then remember a something I wanted to ask her. "Alice, why is it that Jasper has kind of an accent, but Rosalie doesn't?"

She thinks a moment before responding, "Well despite his absenteeism, Jasper really likes his dad. He was his idol growing up, Jasper wanted to be so much like him, he adopted his southern accent. Sometimes it's more noticeable than others."

"But I thought their dad lived in Detroit."

She cocks her head at me, "Someone has been doing her homework. Yes, he lives in Detroit, but he's originally from Texas."

"And Rosalie?" I persist.

"Rose takes after Esme." Alice pauses to laugh, "Only when it comes to speaking, manners and looks though."

A thought comes to me, "Speaking of Rosalie, do you know what someone might be able to do to win her affection?"

"Bella, I had no clue you swung that way," she winks at me.

I smirk at her, "Haha, smart ass, I'm asking for Emmett. He asked Jasper, but he wasn't very helpful."

"I can imagine," she snickers. "Well, he could let her drive his truck for a full day, or take her to a monster truck show, or give her some red, red roses."

"I was gonna suggest roses, but I thought it'd be corny!"

"Oh it's definitely corny, but Rose likes corny," she smiles.

I smile back at her and it's not until now that I notice what she's wearing: a black t-shirt, a four-tiered black lace skirt, grey calf-length tights and the booties she was wearing yesterday. She has her hair fashioned into a faux-hawk and I must admit that it totally suits her.

"Alice," I start. "Do you always dress as if you're in a fashion magazine?"

"Pretty much," she answers smiling and then her face goes serious, "Do you hate it?"

I shake my head, "Oh my gosh, no! It's just that you're gonna make us all look bad to Mikey."

She nods, "True."

I gasp in fake shock and pretend to be insulted, then we both start laughing. Mr. Grantham makes his appearance and our conversation is put on hold. I realize that I never responded to Edward's texts.

Once Mr. Grantham passes out our books and starts writing on the chalk board, I check my cell and see quite a few messages.

From Mikey:

- _yes, i suppose ur right_.

- _they just seems so different though._

- _i'll just have to wait for my chance._

I respond back to him right away.

- please, for the love of god, behave yourself.

From Angela:

- _i think j is into alice._

What the fuck would make her think that? There's no way that J could be in love with anyone else but Angela. She got all paranoid like this before with our old friend Leah. I'll humor her though.

- why do you say that?

Finally, from Edward:

- _what? no comments on my reading preferences? i expected more from you, swan. ;)_

- _my music preferences change a lot, but right now I'm all about dan auerbach._

- _now you might be thinking 'who's dan auerbach?' and i might simply answer, 'blues-rock GOD!'_

- _like your man, jack, he hasn't limited himself to just one band. in addition to his solo work, he also has two bands: The Black Keys and BlakRoc._

- _i'm most familiar with him as a solo, but right now i can't stop listening to the black keys. you'll have to let me put some of their stuff on your ipod._

'Blues-rock _GOD_'? Interesting. I'll have to check this cat out. I'm about to type this response to Edward, but I get another message from Mikey.

- _oh i'm making no promises at all, isabella._

Gheez! Can't I just have normal friends who respect the rules of proper society? Is that too much to ask? I'm not responding back to Mikey. I'll talk to him about this face to face later. My response to Edward is once again interrupted when I get text from Angela.

- _he's just talking about her a lot, that's all._

I let out a sigh that catches Alice's attention and she looks at me quizzically. I bat my hand to let her know it's no big deal. Although I could easily diffuse this bomb that is Angela, I opt not to.

- oh, well maybe he is. they'd make a cute couple.

That's a total lie. J and Alice look like polar opposites. I'm not saying they couldn't have a relationship, it would just be odd. Of course, I'm a little bias. I can't picture J with anyone other than Angela. Why'd she have to go fuck it up and start dating Eric? My cell starts flashing. I laugh when I see it's from Alice.

- _what's wrong?_

- nothing. i promise. :) my friends are just insane.

After she reads the message, she looks over at me and smiles. I smile in return and send off one last text, this time to Edward.

- sorry for my lack of response. bitches be crazy today. i'll explain at lunch.

Before I can put my cell away, he texts back.

- _you better!_

My girlie parts do that little tingly thing again, but only briefly. I put my cell away for good this time and I actually manage to pay attention to the second half of class. When the bell rings, Alice scampers off to find her siblings and she promises to catch up with me in a few minutes. Once I get to the cafeteria, I look for Emmett. I don't have any money and I'm hoping I'll be able to negotiate a trade. I spot him standing in the lunch line, thankfully he's alone. I walk over to him quickly.

"Hey Emmett," I say brightly.

"What the fuck do you want, Balls?"

I don't let his suspiciousness throw me off, "Nothing at all. I just have some information that you might be interested in hearing about a certain pretty girl."

He immediately perks up, "Rosie? What'd you hear? What do you want? Tell me! Please, Bella, tell me!"

I give myself a mental high-five for knowing how to manipulate the big guy so easily, "Just get my lunch again and we'll call it even, deal?"

He seems relieved that he's getting off so easily, "Fucking-A! Now tell me!"

"So, Alice says you could let her drive your truck for a day."

Emmett's face lights up, "It's that simple?"

I shrug, "According to Alice it is. She also said Rosalie digs monster trucks and red, red roses."

Emmett actually let's out a whoop, picks me up before I can escape and starts spinning around in what I can only imagine is excitement and triumph. I think about trying to squirm out of his arms, but I figure it would only call more attention our way. He eventually tires of embarrassing us and puts me down so we can move forward in the line.

As Emmett's busy rattling off ideas for a date with Rosalie, I keep glancing at our table to see if anyone is there yet. And by 'anyone' I mean 'Edward'. The only people there right now are Eric, Angela and J. J's laughing heartily at whatever Angela is saying. I have to sigh. When will they just cut the shit?

My thoughts are interrupted when someone comes up behind me, wraps their arms around my waist and nuzzles their nose in my hair.

"Hey babe," James says before I have a chance to tense up too much.

"H-hey," I stammer, because the tingles have gone into overload. Not because of James, but because Edward just walked through the cafeteria doors and I can't stop myself from thinking how amazing it would be if his arms were the ones around my waist.

I need to get a grip on myself, because nothing good is going to come from daydreams like this.

***Dreams really do come true, because some genius had the fantabulous idea to put not only The Dead Weather on the Eclipse soundtrack, but The Black Keys as well! HOLLER! In addition to their tracks, there is an amazing song by Florence + the Machine on there too. Do yourself a favor and check it out! It's perfection.


	11. Passive Manipulation

***Passive Manipulation***

Hello again, everyone!

First off, my apologies for the delay. Writer's block is an absolute bitch and my pesky job isn't a help either. (Damn the man!) Oh… and to top it off, my boss had the nerve to tell me that Jess (my own personal Alice) and I can't leave early for a Dead Weather concert a few weeks from now. Little does he know that we'll be leaving early, whether he likes it or not. SEAKONK, MOTHER FUCKER! No one will keep me away from my future husband. HA!

Thank you to the readers… I'll try not to take this long between chapters again. I know how frustrating that is, I swears… (Blessing/Curse author, I'm looking at you!)

Amanda… thanks for letting me monopolize George this evening. And thanks for not snoring too loudly (she's currently sleeping on the couch while I type this). And thanks for keeping me entertained. And thanks for listening to me bitch. HAPPY EASTER! (kekekekekekeke - omg… you kill me.)

Last, but not least, most character names and all song titles do not belong to me; they are the property of Stephenie Meyer and The White Stripes, respectively.

Again, thank you guys SOOO very much! I'll update as soon as I can! :o)

HAVE A HAPPY AND SAFE WEEKEND, EVERYONE!

Beta Note: Sorry for the delay, this would have been up yesterday had our internet provider not switched and actually held up their promise of 'uninterrupted service.' LIES! Thanks to Martin's - you get this today. Happy America Day!

Chapter 11

**EDWARD**

Seriously? The last thing I needed to see when I walked through the cafeteria doors was James all over Bella. What the fuck is that about? He treats her like shit last night and she just lets him get away with it? This doesn't sit well with me. Not. At. All. That mother fucker doesn't deserve her forgiveness. He's probably the reason she hasn't been texting me back. To hell with that bullshit!

I avert my eyes from her direction quickly and follow my brother and sisters to the end of the lunch line. After we get our food, we head to I guess what can now be considered 'our' table; however when we get there, James is sitting next to Bella. I somehow manage to keep my cool and I move to sit at the end of the table next to Seth.

"Oh, Edward, wait!" Bella practically shouts and then turns to James. "Sweetie, would you mind if Edward sat here? I need to talk to him about our bio class."

James looks at me and then back to Bella, "Sure babe! I'm pretty much finished anyway. I'mma go talk to Tyler."

He kisses her on the cheek before leaving the table, causing her to flinch a little bit. James either doesn't care, or just doesn't notice. I make my way to the other side of the table and plop down next to her.

"Sorry. I tried to convince him to sit next to Seth, but he's hell bent on being attentive today," Bella says and then takes a huge bite out of her sloppy joe.

"Well that's interesting. What brought that on?" I wonder aloud.

"Ahh duun knoo," she answers through a mouth full of food.

Mikey gasps from the other side of the table, "Isabella, we've discussed you talking with your mouth full. I know we have."

Bella opens her mouth to display her mostly chewed sloppy joe and Mikey looks outraged.

"Oh my god," he heaves, "I'm gonna vom!"

Rosalie starts patting him on the back. Once we're all certain that he's not going to 'vom', we start laughing. Well, Mikey doesn't, of course. He just sits quietly and sulks until Jasper starts talking to him. After that, he really perks up. I think Bella was right; Mikey does have eyes for my man. Even though it's completely ridiculous, this kind of bothers me. It shouldn't, because Jasper and I are definitely not a couple, but it does, because Mikey doesn't know this.

"I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to respond to your texts. I kinda got in trouble with Mrs. French and then everyone was texting me," Bella sighs and then leans over to whisper, "I'll explain in bio."

My body was obviously not expecting her to get this close, because goose bumps immediately break out all over my arms. Thank Alice, I'm wearing this blazer. I barely register that Jasper is talking to me on my left.

"How's my Eddie's day going?" he says, reaching over to put his hand on mine.

Lucky for me, I'm getting used to these moments of queerness, "Oh not too bad, pookie. How's yours?"

Jasper's eyes light up when he realizes I'm actually going to participate this time, "Oh my gosh, this day has been like a whirlwind! First, I had my honors English class. We're starting to read Macbeth. I'm so excited. You know I feel about Shakespeare! We received our text books today in trig! Then I had to suffer through Civil War. That was a huge snooze fest! Oh, and then the big guy over there and I realized that we have advanced chemistry together, so we spent the last forty-five minutes getting much better acquainted."

I gasp, "Jazzy did you just admit that you and Em have chemistry?" I fake a pout.

"You have nothing to worry about, snookums. I'll never have real chemistry with anyone, but you!" he says, leaning over to bump his shoulder into mine.

"Just make sure it says that way," I tease.

He flashes me a smile before turning his attention back to Mikey, who is considerably less flirty after the exchange Jasper and I just had. In his face! Ha! I know I'm ridiculous, but life is all about the little victories.

"So, The Black Keys. I think I've heard of them, but I've never listened to their stuff or Dan…?" Bella says, getting back to our earlier conversation.

"Auerbach. You really need to become acquainted with him. It's blues rock at it's finest!"

She smirks, "Not really the type of music I'd expect from a 'friend of Dorothy'. You're not a Ke$ha fan?"

I lean closer to her, "Can you keep a secret?"

"I think I can manage."

"I actually don't hate Ke$ha," I whisper in her ear.

"Mmmhmm, I knew it," Bella nods.

"Actually, Jasper and I have heated debates over who's better: Ke$ha or Gaga?"

Her eyes go wide, "How is that even a debate? Gaga is definitely better!"

"Says you! Ke$ha's much more catchy. You can try to resist her, but five minutes later, you'll be humming her tunes," I counter.

She thinks for a second, "You know, this argument is moot when you bring ABBA into the mix."

"Pardon?" I'm sure I didn't hear her right.

"ABBA. Blonde. Swedish. Amazing!"

I can't believe I'm having this conversation, "Um, yeah I'm sure they are amazing… if you're like a hundred!"

She gives me a pout, "I'm being for reals. ABBA was uber-popular back in the day. 'Dancing Queen'! Who doesn't know that song?"

"A lot of people know that song and, in turn, a lot of people hate that song."

Her mouth drops open, but she doesn't say anything. I think I've rendered her speechless. I realize that for the sake of my 'gay rep', I probably should've admitted to liking ABBA, but that was too bitter a pill to swallow. I don't care if this blows my cover, that's just not something I can get behind.

Bella sighs and finally speaks, "James even likes ABBA."

"Do I look like James?"

"No."

She's pouting again.

"Exactly."

She rolls her eyes at me, "Fine. You've made your point. How 'bout you stop being a bitch now?"

I give her a smile and she's quick to return it. The bell tolls to signal the end of lunch and everyone reluctantly heads out. After we say our goodbyes to the others, Bella and I make our way to bio, stopping at her locker first.

"So, as you saw at lunch, Mikey is all about Jasper," Bella says as she's sifting through her locker.

I have to work hard to hide my smile, "Yeah, I caught that. You think I should be worried?"

She shrugs, "I've told him to back off, but he's making me no promises."

"Well thanks for trying, I guess."

She closes her locker and we start walking again, "Angela thinks that J is into your sister."

"Rosalie?"

"No, ass, _your_ sister."

This is an unexpected development, "Alice? How? Why?"

"Ang tells me that J's been talking about Alice a lot. Which probably means he mentioned her in passing once or twice, so she just naturally thinks that something is going on." Bella shoots a sideways look at me before continuing, "Ang tends to overreact when it comes to the topic of J and his love life."

"Shouldn't she feel more secure than that? I mean, how long have they been together?" I ask as we step into our classroom.

Bella turns to look at me and I can see confusion plastered across her face, "J and Angela aren't together?"

"For real?" I ask, truly shocked.

"_For real_, for real," she says and continues on to our lab table. "Did you not notice her boyfriend sitting next to her at lunch?"

I toss my bag down and take a seat, "That's her boyfriend? I noticed him, but I never noticed her talking to him. What's his name?"

Bella sits down next to me, "Eric. He's a nice kid. Totally and completely wrong for Ang, but what can you do?"

"Um, you smack her up-side the head and hope it knocks some smarts in her?"

She scoffs at my idea, "Easy for you to say! She'd blind me with the flash bulb of her camera, not to mention the fact that she has reflexes like a jungle cat. No, she's got to come to her own senses. I do feel bad for J though."

I nod, "How long has this been going on?"

"Since puberty, pretty much." She sighs, "I think he came close to telling her how he felt, but Eric just got there first."

Like Bella, I feel bad for J. Really bad. It sucks enough when the person you like isn't available. I'm sure it sucks even worse when you have front row tickets to their relationship.

Unable to hide my curiosity any longer, "So, what happened with you and James?"

She pulls a face, "He fucking booped my nose earlier."

What the fuck does that mean? "I'm sorry?"

"You know," she leans towards me, and puts her finger to my nose and pushes gently, "BOOP!"

I'm not quite sure how to respond to this, "Um, that was… interesting? What purpose does this serve?"

"I guess none. It's something that my dad used to do to me all the time. I'll do it every-so-often to my friends, but James has never done it before. He's in a really good mood, being really nice, and it's really starting to freak me the fuck out."

"Really?" I quip.

She narrows her eyes at me, "Yes. Really."

"Well didn't you tell me last night that he's not always an asshole? Didn't you say that his attitude is refreshing at times? I think you might've even thrown in the word 'attentive' too," I remind her.

"Fuck Edward, don't you ever forget anything?"

I smile, "Why Miss Bella, I do believe you're avoiding my questions."

"Fine. Yes. I said those things," she huffs. "I was just trying to prove to you that I don't get off on being mistreated. I don't know, I guess it's just what I'm used to now. I'm used to him flying off the handle about random things. I'm used to making excuses for him. I'm used to him being a smart ass. What I'm _NOT_ used to is him acting like fucking 'Sunshine Sally'."

I raise an eyebrow, "'Sunshine Sally'?"

"I just made that up, you like it?" she looks so proud of herself.

"Very nice."

"Thank you. So what do you suggest I do? About James, I mean?"

I can't believe she's asking me this. I want to tell her to break up with James. I want her to pick up her phone and text him right now to tell him it's over. She's too good for him, she doesn't deserve to be treated the way he's been treating her. I was only with Tanya for three months and I know how emotionally exhausting it was dealing with her. I don't know how Bella has put up with him for so long.

On the other hand, and I could kick my own ass for thinking this way, maybe James is actually trying to make a genuine effort. If that's the case, then it wouldn't be right to tell her to dump him. I can't believe I'm about to do this...

"Bella, you've been putting up with his bad attitude for over a year, right?"

She's a little hesitant to answer, "Yes."

Don't do it, Edward. Don't. Do. It. "Well don't you think it'd be kinda bitchy if you were to break up with him just when he starts being nice to you? Honestly, sweetheart, that wouldn't make any sense."

YOU STUPID MOTHER FUCKER! YOU JUST TOLD THE POSSIBLE GIRL OF YOUR DREAMS NOT TO BREAK UP WITH HER JERKOFF BOYFRIEND! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?

Mr. Banner chooses this moment to make his appearance. He starts blathering on about the wonders of biology and begins passing out text books. To conserve supplies, he only hands out one book per table. When he asks us to start reading over the lesson in chapter one, Bella has to scoot her chair closer to mine in order to understand what the hell he's talking about.

I have to grip the bottom of the desk in order not to rip my hair out in frustration. I'm an idiot. Alice better fucking appreciate what I just did. If she hadn't practically begged me not to rock the proverbial boat, we'd all be in the fucking water right now, Titanic style. Why do I always have to be the nice guy? What's that old adage: nice guys finish last? Yup, that sounds about right.

Because I've been wrapped in my own thoughts, I don't even see the piece of paper Bella slid in front of me, until she starts tapping on it to get my attention.

_Thank you so much, Edward. I owe you big time. Sorry if I came off as a selfish brat._

I want to throw up. Not only have I managed to convince her to stay with James, I've also somehow have her thinking that she was being selfish. This isn't good. I write back quickly.

You're very welcome.

ps - You're anything but selfish!

She smiles at me brilliantly and we focus our attention on the single book in front if us. Later, as we're walking out of class, she takes the opportunity to thank me again.

"Bella, really, you don't have to thank me."

"I know, but you really put things into perspective. I talked to Jasper earlier and he nearly had me convinced that I should drop James like a bad habit," she laughs lightly.

I strain to keep my tone even, "You talked to Jasper about this?"

"Yeah, right before fourth."

"And what did he say?" I'm infinitely curious now.

"Pretty much what you said, but he didn't flip it around the way you did," she recalls.

MOTHER FUCKER! "Oh, I see."

"Oh my gosh, to think I was seriously giving thought to breaking up with James, just because he was being nice to me. Crazy, right?"

"Yeah. Crazy." STUPID. STUPID. STUPID.

"Well, I'm off to algebra. See you in gym?"

"Of course, where else would I be?"

She smiles and walks away. As I make my way to history, I continue my mental tirade.

Hi, my name is Edward. I'm a pussy. I don't know how to do anything right. I think it's super to tell really hot girls not to break up with their asshole boyfriends. I like it. I like having a vagina. I'm going to pick up a case of Summers Eve after school and douche my fucking heart out when I get home then I'm going to start writing lame-ass songs and see if Owl City will let me tour with him. Ugh, seriously? Your name is 'Adam Young'. Why don't you go by that instead of some stupid random band name? WAY TO MISLEAD THE PUBLIC, DOUCHE BAG! Speaking of douche bags, why the fuck didn't Jasper mention talking to Bella? That's kind of something important that I should've been told. Okay, I guess it really _wasn't_ my business and that's why he didn't tell me, but still. Would it have killed him to just give me the heads up? I don't really think it would have. People don't have courtesy anymore. Fuck.

Once I get to history class, I check my phone. I'm tremendously happy to see that I have some texts from Bella.

- _so… 'on the road'…i'm in TOTAL agreement with you. i was in a phase last year when i felt the need to read 'classics'. big fucking fail._

- _can I borrow 'running with scissors'?_

- _and you'll have to hook me up with some dan auerbach. (notice the proper spelling…I WIN!)_

I think about texting her back, but realize that if I do, I'll never want to focus on the teacher. Eh, fuck it.

- i'll bring it tomorrow, the book that is. you'll have to come over and i'll hook your ipod up!

The second my text is sent, one comes in.

- _how long do i wait for emmett to ask me out, before i can ask him out?_

- rose you've never asked a guy out.

- _true, but this one is different. oh and i've decided against cheerleading._

- lol. probably for the best.

- _asshole._

I smile and close my phone. This was unnecessary, since another text is coming through already. This one is from Bella though.

- _just let me know when. i'm dying to see if your parents are as embarrassing as mine!_

- they won't disappoint, trust me.

With that, I put my phone away. So far I've been pretty fortunate to not get caught with it, I shouldn't press my luck. I'll see Bella soon enough in gym anyway. That reminds me, we'll have to go back to Newton's to get our gym clothes soon. I'm not even sure if Alice ordered any. I wonder if they're hiring. I could definitely benefit from an after school job. Does the fact that Bella works there have any influence over this decision? Well duh! I did work at a Dick's Sporting Goods store though, so it's not a job that would be absolutely foreign.

By the time the bell sounds for seventh period, I've made up my mind to ask Bella to put in a good word for me. Just like yesterday, I run into Alice on my way to gym and we walk together. When we get there we see that the students are grouped to one side and the two coaches are on the other. We spot J and Angela and move to stand with them. There's no sign of Bella yet.

"People, it just started raining outside, so our plans for field hockey are kaput! We're going to modify the game plan and play in here. I need four captains, right now!" the male coach shouts at us.

"SIMPSON. HARRISON. STANLEY. BLACK," the female coach practically screams.

J jumps a little when his name is called and moves to take his place across from us.

"Pick your teams, people!" male coach barks.

"Fan-fucking-tastic. Watch me get picked last." I hear what's becoming a very familiar voice behind me. I turn and sure enough, Bella is standing there.

I take a step back to stand next to her, "J's up there though. Why would he pick you last?"

"He'll pick Ang first, no doubt. Then he'll pick you, because he'll want a least one guy on his team. Then he'll pick Alice, because he won't want her to be left with unfamiliar people. Then he'll pick me, because I'll be the only person left he wants." She says matter-of-factly.

"And what happens when someone else picks you?"

She smirks at me, "Oh, that won't happen."

Sure enough Bella was absolutely right about J's selections. Because there are twenty-three students in the class, all of the other teams have six players, while we only have five. We decide to make Alice our goalie. Bella and I play defense, J and Angela offense.

"Um, you're gonna want to stand clear of my stick," Bella says beside me, her tone eerily low.

I look at her and see that she has her 'game face' on. A few seconds later, the ball comes into our zone. Without warning Bella swings her stick down with full force and knocks it to the other side of the court, causing the captain of the other team to practically dive out if the way.

"Hey Bella, how 'bout you watch what you're doing?" the curly haired girl shouts at her.

"Hey Jess, how 'bout you eat a dick?" Bella shouts in return and my jaw hits the floor.

"Bells, could you not?" J pleads.

Bella just shrugs, "Sorry."

Everyone can tell that she's not sorry at all. Luckily this little episode has caused enough distraction to allow J to get a goal for our team.

"Well done, Black!" male coach offers from the sideline.

Bella proves to be quite the hot-head when it comes to this modified field hockey. Every time the ball gets near her, she swings her stick as if her life depends on it. One time she nearly clips my shoulder. I wouldn't say I'm a slouch though. Almost anything Bella misses gets sent my way. Though my swing doesn't have quite the ferocity as hers, it's still pretty good. Between the two of us and Alice we manage to block nearly every shot sent our way, but J and Angela's performances are absolutely stellar. We win the game 16-4 and the coaches let us relax for the last ten minutes of class.

"Aww, better luck next time, Jess," Bella offers to the opposing captain.

"It was nearly two years ago, Bella! Get over it, already!" Jess says, before she turns and stomps off.

"Spoiled little bitch," Bella adds, but only loud enough for us to hear.

J puts an arm around her shoulder, "Bells, you really should ease up on her. She's right; it's been almost two years."

Bella just rolls her eyes, "Whatevs."

He removes his arm and gestures to Alice, "Come on, Ali. Let's go check out the other game."

They take a few steps, but then J turns and adds, "Coming Angela?"

Angela looks kind of taken aback, but mumbles out a 'yeah sure' and follows Alice and J to the other end of the gym. I turn to Bella, eager to ask her about her issue with Jess, but her brow is furrowed in what appears to be profound confusion.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

She kind of shakes her head as if to clear her thoughts, "Nothing, I guess. It's just that I can't remember the last time J has called Angela by her full name. It didn't sound right at all."

"Oh. That is kinda strange then. Why do you think he did that?"

"Not sure. I'll find out later though and fill you in," she whispers, though no one is listening.

"Fabulous!" I say in what I hope is an acceptable homo-tone and then widen my eyes a bit to emphasize what I'm about to ask, "Now tell me, what's the deal with you and Miss Curly-Haired Jess!"

"It's stupid really. She broke Emmett's heart a few years ago."

I gasp, "That bitch."

Bella laughs and moves to sit on the bleachers, "Emmett's over it now, of course, but for a while he was a mess." She pauses for a minute and then continues a little more seriously, "Our friends really didn't get to see how badly it affected him. Sure, he was fine in school and during practices and games, but at home and work he was such a mope. I had to cover for him every time he blew off the gang."

"Aww, bless his heart," I say softly.

"He eventually started dating here and there, but he hasn't really been into a girl since. Until Rosalie, that is. What's she like, Edward? Really?" she questions.

"Rosalie? Well, she's loyal to Jasper, for sure. I'm told that one time in preschool, some kid took his sand pail so she pushed said kid down and started shoveling sand into his mouth until someone stopped her." Bella laughs, so I continue, "She loves her dad, though she won't admit it readily. She loves my dad and will admit it readily. She's good to her family. She tries not to take her beauty too seriously. Her grandmother had the bright idea to enter her in a pageant when she was twelve. Esme says that she did really well up until the 'beachwear' category. Rosalie started going on about how a bathing suit didn't determine how pretty a girl was and she refused to compete. She's an absolute pain in the ass sometimes, but she's honest and she means well."

"Oh wow," Bella responds. "I hope Em is that nice when people ask about me. So you're saying I shouldn't worry about her breaking his heart then?"

I laugh, "Oh honey, not at all. I think they'll be fine."

She exhales, "Well that's a relief. I didn't want to have to hate your sister."

"Yeah, that would suck just a little bit," I smile.

Bella moves to get up, "Come on, the bell's going to ring soon."

I get up to follow her. By the time we reach the others, the bell rings. Since it's only the second day, none of us have homework and we can head directly to the parking lot. J leads the way with Alice by his side and Angela a step behind. I can tell by her demeanor that this is something new for Angela and she doesn't like it very much. Beside me, Bella is scanning the crowd.

"I have to find James. He's my ride."

I spot him right away and point him out, "He's right there."

She follows my gaze, "Oh, thanks! Are you leaving right away? You're not right? You wanna walk over with me? You don't have to, I just thought I'd ask."

I laugh at her rambling, "No, we're not leaving right away. We have to wait on Jasper and Rosalie. Lead the way, Miss Bella."

When we get to James' car, he's talking to a guy I haven't seen before.

James smiles at Bella, "Hey babe! I was just talking to Tyler about you!"

My soul dies a little as she walks over to hug James, "I hope it was nice. Hey Tyler."

Tyler waves at her, "Hey Bell. He wasn't saying anything bad, don't worry." He directs his attention to me, "Who's your friend?"

"Shit, sorry! Tyler Crowley this is Edward Cullen. Edward, this is Tyler."

Eh, I'm here, I might as well ham it up, "Oh the pleasure is definitely all mine, Tyler."

"EDDIE? Thank God, I've been looking for you everywhere!" I hear Jasper behind me, right before takes my hand into his. He really should win an award for the performance he's giving.

I smile at him, "Well you can stop looking now that you've found me!"

He smiles back at me, "But part of the fun of looking is the thrill I get when I finally find you." Jasper notices Tyler and holds out his hand, palm down, "And you are?"

Tyler has a look of absolute confusion on his face, but he manages to collect himself enough to take Jasper's offered hand, "I'm Tyler. Tyler Crowley. Good to meet you…?"

"I'm Jasper Hale. Oh my, what a strong grip you have there, Tyler."

"Uh, thanks." Tyler turns to James, "You ready to head out, man?"

"Sure thing! Babe, I'll call you later," he says.

Bella looks very confused, "I'm sorry, what? You're leaving? You're my ride."

"We talked about this. I told you I was watching the game with Tyler."

"Uh no. You said you were watching the game tonight. You _never_ mentioned that you weren't driving me home," she accuses.

James just shrugs, "It was totally implied, babe."

Bella shakes her head, "No. No it wasn't."

"Whatevs. Em'll take you home," he says flippantly and then gives her a quick kiss on the cheek, before moving to get in his car.

I can tell that Bella's still puzzled by this current change of events, but she does her best not to let it get to her, "Well have fun, I guess."

James smiles as he's shutting his car door, "Thanks babe! You're the best!" Tyler has already climbed into the passenger seat, so James wastes no time starting the engine and driving away.

During this entire exchange, Jasper and I have been observing quietly… still holding hands, of course. Bella looks at the both of us and I catch a look of embarrassment, but she covers it quickly with a weak smile.

"I guess I better go find, Emmett, huh?" she laughs.

Jasper releases my hand and walks over to her, "Oh sweetie, don't be sad. We'll help you find him!"

"Thanks Jazzy," she says and the three of us head back to my Volvo, since I remember Emmett's truck being parked next to me this morning. Luckily, it's still there when we arrive.

Actually, everyone is still there. Bella walks over to Emmett and pulls him to the side to talk to him in private. While they're talking, I see him shake his head and gesture in Rosalie's direction. Bella pouts and starts talking animatedly with her arms. Emmett laughs at her, but still shakes his head 'no'. She sighs in frustration, nods and then pats him on the arm. He puts his arm around her and messes up her hair. Bella shoves him off and walks back to the rest of the group with Emmett right behind her.

We all talk for a few more minutes, before Emmett makes his departure, "Well, I'm heading out. I'll see you fine people later. Rosie?"

"Yup, I'm coming." Rosalie says goodbye to everyone and joins Emmett in the cab of his truck.

I nudge Bella's shoulder, "You need a ride, ma'am?"

She sighs, "Yeah, I guess I do. Everyone has abandoned me today."

"Well their loss is our gain!" Jasper says, "Mary Alice, you ready?"

"Actually, J is going to give me a ride home," my twin says and a sort of hush falls over the group.

"What?" Jasper asks, without a hint of 'gay' in his voice. In this moment, I see the Jasper that I've known for the past two-plus years. He looks like he wants to kill one Jacob Black and that probably wouldn't be the best thing, since we are trying to _make_ friends, not maim them.

"J is going to give me a ride home," Alice repeats herself, this time a little wary.

"But," Jasper starts and then he must realize the mood he's putting off, because he instantly changes tact, "…you said you'd do my nails tonight."

Alice laughs at his whiney tone, "Jasper, I'll still do your nails, I promise."

He brightens immediately, "Fabulous! J, you be careful with her. Her manis and pedis are way better than any little asian I've ever been to!"

J smiles easily, "You got it man. I'll keep her safe and sound. The kid's coming too, so it's like she'll have double protection."

"Good deal," Jasper says, but when he walks past me to the car, I can see the tension on his face. He obviously was not privy to Alice's plans before now. She'll have a lot of explaining to do once she gets home. I look at Alice and she smiles at me and nods toward Jasper. I don't need to be a mind reader to know she wants me keep an eye on him. I nod back to her and it's only then that she follows J to his car.

"Bella, you ready?" I call to her.

"Give me a second," she says. The second Alice said she was getting a ride from J, Bella and Mikey have been at Angela's side. I can't hear what they're talking about, but I'm positive it's about J.

I groan and pull out my phone to text Alice.

- i hope you have a good excuse. your man is about to blow a gasket and angela is beside herself.

I glance back to Bella, she and Mikey are still talking to Angela. I'm not sure how much progress they're making, but I do see Angela nodding at what they're saying, so I suppose that's a step in the right direction. My phone vibrates.

- _i know what i'm doing. i just texted jasper, he should be calm now. everything happened so fast, i didn't get to warn him._

- okay, but if he goes crazy and kills j, you only have yourself to blame. ;o)

"Ready," Bella says.

I start at her voice, because didn't hear her coming. I guess the expression on my face is humorous, because Bella starts laughing hysterically.

"Wow, I'm glad you find me amusing, Swan. Everything okay?" I ask.

She stops laughing and rolls her eyes, "Ugh, yes. Classic 'don't know what you got 'til it's gone' syndrome. She'll get over it."

I chuckle at her indifference to the matter, "You don't sound very concerned."

"Because I'm not. We rollin'?" she says, effectively changing the subject.

With that, I bow and wave my arm to the car, "Your chariot awaits, madame."

Jasper is standing next to the passenger side, waiting for me to unlock the door.

"SHOTGUN!" Bella declares loudly and smiles.


	12. One More Cup of Coffee

Author's Note and Disclaimer:

So...remember how I promised last time that I would try not to make it so long between updates? Yeah...I fully admit that I suck.

Thank you so much for being patient and for reading my silly little story. It makes me happy to know someone besides my beta (and Harrison) enjoys my rambling. :o)

Amanda: There aren't enough good words to describe the amazing gift you bestowed on me this week. You see folks; Amanda was able to get early entrance to a Dead Weather concert Tuesday night. We were able to experience the awesomeness of one Mr. Jack White from right in front of the stage. They are, in a word: ... strike that. There are literally no words to describe it. They wouldn't even do it justice.

On to the 'important' stuff: most character names are the property of Stephenie Meyer. Song titles and lyrics do NOT belong to me; they belong to The White Stripes, Muse, Tom Petty, The Black Keys and Lady Gaga respectively.

Thanks again for reading everyone! I'll try to bang out the next chapter ASAP! (hehehe - 'bang out')

***One More Cup Of Coffee***

Chapter 12

**BELLA**

"_Our love would be forever_

_And if we died _

_We died together_

_And I _

_I said never _

_Cause our love would b..._"

"UGH! That's enough, Muse!" I say, hastily changing the station.

"What's Muse ever done to you?" Edward asks, never looking away from the road.

I tilt my head in thought, "I guess they haven't done anything specific, but they're fucking annoying. Why can't they just play a song, instead of making it into some sort of lyrical event?"

"Amen," Jasper says from the backseat. I nearly forgot he was back there, he's been so quiet.

I'm having a hard time finding something to listen to on the radio. I'm not use to 'XM' stations, so it has me at a loss.

"Bella, why don't we just listen to the CD?" Edward suggests.

I made him turn off the Jack White CD as soon as he started the car, "Because Edward, I want you to listen to it without any distraction. Don't you have an iPod hook-up?"

He opens the armrest and presents me with a cord. Fucking score!

I make quick work out of plugging my pod in and scrolling through the artists, "I'm thinking Bob Dylan. Or Dr. Dre. Or Tom Petty."

Jasper giggles and sing-songs, "One of these things is not like the other."

"Ha ha. Just pick one Jazzy," I order.

"Tom Petty. OH! 'American Girl'!"

It really does warm my heart that he knows that one. I select the chosen song and the opening chords fill the car. Jasper claps his hands to the beat and he and I start singing along with Tom.

"_Well she was an American girl_

_Raised on promises_

_She couldn't help thinking that there was a little more to life_

_Somewhere else_"

I stop singing and start laughing because Jasper is totally off-key. It's so bad that it's actually entertaining and quite charming. You can tell he's 100% content with himself.

"He's great," I say to Edward.

He glances over at me for a moment, "Petty or Jasper?"

"Jasper. He's absolutely fabulous."

As I say this, he's still going strong in the backseat.

"_Oh yes!_

_All right!_

_Take it easy baby_

_Make it last all night_

_She was_

_An AMERICAN girl!_"

I erupt into a fit of giggles, because of the way he squeals out the last line. He's so adorable.

"So I was thinking," Edward starts, "You maybe want to come by our house? I could hook up your iPod with some Black Keys and drop off Jasper. And Esme should be there, I know you wanted to meet her."

Though I'm all about this idea, I know that if I don't discuss it with at least one parental unit, a search party will be formed by sundown.

"That sounds perfect, but I'll have to check in with home first." I say as I'm pulling out my cell and dialing my mom. She doesn't answer. She never answers. Why does she even have a cell if she's never going to answer it? I sigh and make the call I really didn't want to make.

"_Whereyaat Bells?"_ my dad asks, bypassing a 'hello'.

"Currently I'm in a car with Edward and Jasper."

"_I thought James was bringing you home."_

"So did I, but plans changed."

"_Why didn't you ride home with your brother?"_

"Emmett offered a ride to Rosalie. I figured three would be a crowd."

"_And J?"_

"Seth is with him, they're taking Alice home."

"_I see. How's his driving?"_

"He appears to be quite responsible. Eyes on the road and whatnot."

At that comment, Edward risks turning his head toward me to smirk.

"_You coming straight home?"_ Dad asks from the other end.

"That's why I was calling actually. Edward would like me to meet his mom and he's also offered to add some music to my iPod. I just wanted to make sure it was cool before we headed over."

There's a significant pause on the other end as my father weighs the pros and cons of what I'm asking of him.

"_Well I guess it's alright. Your mother should still be there actually."_

"Huh? Where?"

"_That lady. The mother. She invited Renee for tea. She hasn't come home yet. I guess she's still there."_

"Oh."

"_Who's that singing?"_

"Jasper."

"_A little off key ain't he?"_

"Dad, be nice."

He chuckles.

"So, I'll see you later, okay?"

"_Sure thing. Love you, kid. Be careful."_

I smile in spite of myself, "We will. Love you too, Dad."

I flip my cell closed and look at Edward, "It's a go. Apparently my mother might be at your house already. This should be fun."

"Okay, I'm finished with Tom Petty, can we listen to something else?" Jasper requests.

I unplug my iPod and search for something Jasper might like, while Edward starts scanning the radio to find us something in the meantime. He flips past a song I recognize.

"Oh, can we listen to that one? I've heard it on commercials, but I can't ever remember to look for it on iTunes."

"Which one?" he asks me.

"That one you just flipped past! The 'Howling for You' one! Please!" I say nicely.

He flips back to the song I wanted. I smile, put my head back and just enjoy the song. Eventually, I notice that Edward is wearing a rather large smile on his face as well.

"What?" I have to know.

He glances at me quickly, "_What_ what?"

"Fess up. What's the smile about?"

His smile gets bigger, "This is The Black Keys."

"For serious?"

"Can we please listen to Gaga?" Jasper whines.

Edward sighs, "Later darling, promise! Yes, this is The Black Keys."

"This song is great," I admit honestly.

"Duh."

"Oh for fuck's sake, please can we listen to Gaga?" Jasper asks again.

Edward glares at him in the rearview, "You didn't complain about them last night, Jazzy!"

Jasper sighs, "Fine. I don't hate The Black Keys. I just really want to listen to Gaga. Eddie, please."

"Your wish, my command," Edward acquiesces. "Bella, could you please hook girlfriend up back there?"

I manage to keep from giggling, "Sure thing. Any song in particular?"

"Just give me Gaga!" Jasper shouts.

I don't even respond to his tantrum, I just select the first song I come across. Jasper squeals in delight, approving my pick, and starts reciting the words along with 'The Lady'.

"_I know that we are young and I know that you may love me..._"

Edward just snorts and shakes his head in amusement, "He does love his Gaga."

My eyes widen and I fake surprise, "You don't say!"

We fall into silence and just enjoy the performance Jasper is giving. The backseat doesn't seem to hinder his dance moves at all. He flails his arms around very dramatically, as he puts his whole heart into the song.

"_Don't call my name_

_Don't call my name, Eddie-jandro _

_I'm not your babe_

_I'm not your babe, Fernando_

_Don't wanna kiss, don't wanna touch_

_Just smoke my cigarette and hush_

_Don't call my name_

_Don't call my name, Roberto_

_Eddie-jandro, Eddie-jandro_

_Eddie-Eddie-jandro, Eddie-Eddie-jandro_"

Tears are streaming down my face. I'm laughing so hard, I can't pull myself together, "Oh. My. Sweet. Lord."

"Yup. This is my life," Edward somehow keeps a straight face, as he pulls into the driveway of a rather large house. Sure enough, I see my mother's car parked there too.

He cuts the engine and the music stops, causing Jasper to pout, "Eddie-Eddie-jandro, I wasn't finished singing."

"I know babe, but we're home now. You can sing in your room, totally uninterrupted. I'm just gonna put a few songs on Miss Bella's iPod and then drive her home. Will you want to ride along?" Edward asks sweetly.

Jasper sighs and shakes his head, "No thank you. You know how I am, once I get to singing I won't want to stop."

"True enough," Edward smiles, opening his door. "We ready?"

I nod and we head inside. The house is immense. The floor plan is so open, I can see straight through to the back yard. I can't make out the details of it, but it's still rather impressive. Edward and Jasper start giving me the tour: foyer, sitting room, powder room, dining room, kitchen. It's the last one where I find my mother laughing with a very lovely woman, who I can only assume is Esme.

"My Isabella! We were just talking about you!" Mom exclaims as soon as she sets eyes on me.

I wave lamely and glance from her to Esme, who gives me a glorious smile. She looks like she belongs in an old black and white movie, except she's in color, of course. Her face is very similar to Rosalie's and her hair is a divine shade of honey. It's totally obvious where Jasper and Rosalie get their good looks.

"Bella! It's so very nice to meet you, dear," Esme says, rising from her chair and actually pulling me into a hug. "I've heard so much about you from Alice and Edward and of course, your mother."

I find myself smiling back in return, "Whatever they've said is probably much nicer than I deserve."

She bats her hand at me as if dismissing my statement, "Nonsense. You're most assuredly special, I can tell just by looking at you."

Her words sound so sincere, it warms my heart. I feel myself start to blush a little.

"Hey Mom!" Jasper says and kisses her cheek.

Esme's smile gets even more brilliant as she looks at her son, "Hello darling! I bought more berries for you. They're in the fridge."

"Oh it's my lucky day!" He gasps and claps his hands. On his way to the refrigerator he pauses to give my mom a quick hug, "Hi Renee!"

Mom actually giggles, "Good to see you again, sweetie. You too, Edward!"

Edward smiles and nods at her, "Nice to see you too, Mrs. Swan." He moves to give Esme a kiss on the cheek. "So I don't have to do the introductions?"

"Nope, I'd know Bella from anywhere now," she says, smiling that smile at me again, before turning back to him. "Your father is in his study upstairs, he'll want to meet her, you know?"

Edward groans, but manages a nod, "Okay. Bella and I are gonna head up to my room real quick. I want to put some stuff on her iPod."

"Okie doke!" Esme chirps happily.

I run over to give my mom a quick hug, then we leave Jasper with the moms and make our way upstairs. There are tons of pictures hanging on the wall along the way. One catches my attention. It's a picture of Jasper with his arms around a very pretty girl with coppery hair. After closer inspection, I realize that it's Alice. The picture makes me smile, because the two of them look so happy.

"That was taken in Mexico," Edward says from behind me. "The vacation was a gift for our sixteenth birthday. I wanted a car; she wanted a decent family vacation."

I'm still smiling, "This picture is great. It's like I can almost hear them laughing."

"That's one of Esme's favorites. Alice stole Jasper's iPod and ran away with it because he wasn't paying attention to her. This was taken just after he caught her." He laughs.

"Funny, I wouldn't have pegged Jasper for the aggressive type."

"Oh he is when it comes to something he wants."

I laugh, "Note to self: don't steal Jasper's shit."

"Shall we press on?" Edward asks.

I nod reluctantly, "I guess, though I seriously could stand here and look at these pictures for hours."

"I'm sure you'll be invited back, Bella. No need to commit them to memory now," he jokes.

I roll my eyes and continue up the stairs, pausing for him at the top, to allow him to take the lead now…this being his house and all. We walk past a few doors, before coming to a stop at one. Edward knocks a few times, before turning the knob.

"Hey Dad!" he says, as the door is swinging open.

"Edward! This is unexpected."

I hear his father before I see him, but when I seem him the only words that come to mind are 'oh' and 'my'. Seriously? Is there a bad looking person in this family? If I didn't know any better, I would think that Anderson Cooper was standing in front of me, save for the sandy blond hair still peeking out amongst the greys. He smiles warmly and extends a hand to me.

"You have to be Bella," he says with certainty.

I take his hand and laugh nervously, "I am. It's very nice to meet you Mr…oh, sorry…_Dr._ Cullen."

"Please, call me Carlisle," he smiles warmly. I imagine he has very good bedside manner, but really who needs it when you look like him?

"Well then, very nice to meet you, Carlisle. You have a beautiful home," I offer sincerely.

His smile deepens, "I'll pass your compliments to my wife. This is all her doing. I'm afraid if I was left to my own devices, everything would still be in boxes."

"A lot of my stuff is still in boxes," Edward laughs.

Carlisle chuckles, "So, what are you crazy kids up to?"

"Not much. Bella needed a ride home, so I offered her one. We stopped by here first, so I could put some new music on her iPod."

"Ah, well don't let me keep you," Carlisle says and looks at me, "Bella, a pleasure to meet you. Please come back when you can visit longer."

I give him my best smile, "Will do, Carlisle. Thank you."

Edward leads me out of his father's study and to his room at the end of the hall. As soon as we enter, I'm immediately struck by all of the shelves filled with CDs, DVDs and books.

"Gheez Cullen, do you have enough CDs?" I tease.

He laughs, "I'm sure I could use a few more."

I see an odd look come across his face and he pulls his cell out and flips it open. He lets out a little groan.

"Esme needs me. Do you think you could entertain yourself for a few minutes?" he asks.

"Oh I'm sure I'll be able to find something of interest in here."

"Cool. I'll be right back."

When he leaves, I walk over to the shelves and start nosing through everything. His CD collection wasn't as hopeless as I originally thought it would be. He has some old STP, '_The Eminem Show_' and even some Bob Dylan. His DVDs aren't so bad either. They include '_The Lord of the Rings_' trilogy, the original '_Hairspray_' and '_Goldmember_', among many others. The books throw me off though, there's so many of them. For some reason, the one that draws my attention is the most unexpected: '_Gone with the Wind_'. I've read that book myself no less than three times. It's one of my favorites. I wonder why he didn't mention it earlier. I pull it off of the shelf and sit down at the desk and start skimming the pages. This is where Edward finds me when he finally returns.

"Bella, what're you doing?"

I sigh, "I'm just getting reacquainted with Scarlett and Rhett. I didn't realize how much I've missed them."

"I see. Shall I leave you three alone?" he asks.

"Nah, it's cool. I know what happens."

He chuckles and reaches over my shoulder to turn on his laptop.

"So, what did Esme want?"

He rolls his eyes, "She wanted to know where Alice was and who she was with, etcetera."

"She's not home yet? That's odd. J is normally more punctual than that."

Edward just shakes his head, "It's cool, really. Despite her flightiness, Alice is quite responsible. She'll either be home soon, or call to let someone know when she will be home."

"Oh, okay then, good."

"Hey Bella."

"Hey Edward."

"Could you get your ass out of my chair, so I can sit down and tend to your iPod?"

"Well, since you asked so very nicely," I say getting up and transplanting myself to the bed.

"So, you were up here alone all this time and you just read a book?" he asks incredulously.

I nod, "Yup. How dull am I?"

"Um, pretty fucking dull," he answers truthfully, "Where's your iPod?"

I get up and dig through my bag to find it and walk it over to him, "Here you go, jerk."

He ignores my name-calling and just focuses on the task at hand. He doesn't even complain when I watch from over his shoulder. I do this partly to make sure he doesn't fuck up my pod and partly because I want to see what he's got on his iTunes account.

"You have The Decemberists?" I ask surprised.

"You know them?" he responds.

I give him my best 'duh' look, "Um _YEAH_. They're from Oregon, douche. Why wouldn't I know them? How do _you_ know them?"

"XMU," he says simply.

"Oh, well aren't you just so special?"

He smirks at me, "Don't you know it, sweetheart."

In the end he gives me some of Dan Auerbach's solo work, a shit load of The Black Keys and a bit of BlakRoc for good measure. He unplugs my iPod and hands it back to me.

"Here you are, ma'am. Unlike you, I don't have any listening instructions."

"Whatevs. Some people need to be eased into things."

Edward chuckles and says under his breath, "Hehehe, that's what he said."

"Wow dude, seriously? And here I thought I was safe from Em and J's childish humor for the afternoon."

He shrugs and stands up from his desk, "You ready to roll?"

I search my brain, trying to think of some excuse that will keep me in this room, in his presence, just a little bit longer, but nothing comes to mind. I have no choice, but to nod.

"Yup, I'm good to go, man."

We head out of his room and down the stairs. I ask him if we should say goodbye to Jasper, but he advises against it.

"If we interrupt his singing, he'll be difficult for the rest of the week."

Esme and Carlisle are in the sitting room as we're on our way out. They make me promise not to be a stranger and only then are Edward and I allowed to vacate the premises.

We're in the Volvo, pulling out of the driveway, when inspiration hits me.

"You're not in any sort of hurry, are you?"

He furrows his brow as if in thought, "Not to the best of my knowledge."

"Do you maybe want to get a cup of coffee, or a latte, or something?" I ask hopefully.

"That would be fantastic, but won't your parents be expecting you?"

Oh, I hadn't thought that far ahead. "Um, maybe?"

He chuckles and I pull my cell out and dial home. Luckily, my mom's the one who answers.

"_Hey baby, where are you?"_

"I'm still with Edward."

"_Oh, okay. When will you be home?"_

"We're in the car now, but I wanted to take Edward by Brewsters for a cup of coffee, if that's okay."

"_Sounds okay with me, sweetie. Dinner's at six."_

"Yes ma'am."

"_And make sure you ask Edward to join us if his family won't miss him."_

"I will."

"_Good. Love you, baby."_

"Love you too, bye."

I flip my cell closed and look at Edward, "You're invited to dinner."

"Awww, how sweet is that? I accept. Oh, wait a minute… is Mama Swan a good cook?"

"Yes. She's a very good cook," I laugh.

"Oh thank god. I don't want to vom," he says seriously and then adds, "where's this coffee shop?"

"Just keep going straight. It's in the town circle."

He follows my instructions and we arrive within minutes, finding a parking spot right out front. I lead him into the shop and just take in the smell of the place. It truly is one of my favorite places to be. I step up to the counter to give my order, which isn't really necessary most of the time since I'm here so often.

"Hey Bella, what'll it be today?" the barista greets me.

"Ummm, I think I'mma go with a 'coffee toffee' today, Lauren. Extra whip," I gesture to Edward behind me, "And a honey-vanilla latte for my little friend there."

Lauren looks over my shoulder at Edward and her eyes light up. I swear I almost see drool start to form around her mouth before she turns around to write our orders on the cups.

"He's gay, Lauren!" I kind of shout at her, though I don't realize I've shouted until several people start to stare.

I giggle nervously and avoid eye contact with them. After paying for the drinks, I direct Edward to the other end of the counter to wait.

"So," he starts.

"Yeah, I just outed you to the entire place, sorry."

He laughs, "It's okay, Bella. They would've found out eventually. Just tell me why you felt the need to announce it."

_Um, because that little twat-waffle was eyeing you up and it caused me to go all 'if I can't have you no one can' on her ass?_

"She was looking at you like you were a caramel macchiato or some such shit. I just wanted to keep her in line by telling her what's what."

He nods, "I see."

"Yeah man! I'm looking out for my girl, Miss Jazzy! You'll thank me later."

Edward laughs again as our drinks appear. We pick them up and he allows me to lead him to my favorite table in the shadowy corner. AKA: _MY_ corner. Once we get situated, he starts with the questions.

"How long have you been coming here?"

I think for a moment, "Since I was fourteen, I think? Yeah, that's about right. That was when Mom started working at the station with Dad and I came here to pass the time, because they didn't want me at home alone."

"Where was Emmett?"

"Football practice."

"What're you drinking?"

"It's called a 'coffee toffee'. It's blended, frozen coffee drink with bits of toffee. You want a sip?" I offer my cup to him. He takes it from my hand and puts the straw up to his lips and starts to suck. I have to look away because my girly bits start convulsing a little at the sight.

"Mmmm, that's really good," he says handing my cup back. He offers his cup to me, "You wanna try mine?"

I shake my head, "Nah, I think I'm good. Thanks though."

"Welcome. Where were we? Oh yeah, how often do you come here?"

"At least three times a week, if not more. Angela and Mikey come sometimes, but for the most part I'm on my own."

"Why's that?" Gheez, he's nosy. Worse than Mikey even!

"Well because Angela is usually out stalking our classmates, getting photos for either the school paper or the yearbook. And Mikey, well lets just say that this really isn't the best place for him."

He cocks his head to the side, "Why not?"

"I'm sure you've noticed he's a little out-spoken. This place is relatively toned down. He has a bit of a problem using his inside voice."

Edward laughs, "Yeah, I have noticed that. What do you do for fun?"

"You mean me, personally, or just people in general?"

"You," he clarifies.

"I come here. I hang out with my friends. Watch movies. Work. Annoy my brothers. Go to football games on Fridays. Sometimes we have keggers."

He smirks at me, "_You_ like football games and keggers?"

I raise an eyebrow at him, "Yes. Who doesn't like a good kegger?"

"Your dad's the chief of police, how is it that you get to go to keggers?" he looks confused.

"Well, in most cases it takes some sneaking around. Homecoming and prom offer the biggest parties. There's this meadow that we go to and the parents actually support our cause."

"I'm intrigued, go on."

"It's kind of like tradition. We pitch tents, light fires, roast marshmallows and drink beer. It's a good time. Of course, it's all based on the fact that no one will be driving. We're actually shuttled in on buses and picked back up in the morning."

"How is that legal?" he asks disbelievingly.

I smile, "It's not." He looks so hopelessly confused now, so I continue, "This has been going on for as long as I can remember. Papa and Mama Swan actually did this when they were in high school. Parents aren't stupid. They want to make sure that if their children are drinking, they're going to do it responsibly. Some off duty officers volunteer to park down by the access road, just to make sure no one leaves and to make sure someone of authority is there in cases of an emergency."

"That's quite possibly the coolest thing I've ever heard. When's homecoming?"

"Not until October," I laugh.

He looks disappointed, "Oh, well, I can be patient. Is Newton's hiring?"

Whoa, that's unexpected, "Um, I don't know. Possibly? You're looking for a job?"

He shrugs, "I guess it's the smart thing to do. I don't like having to rely on my dad for spending and gas money. Not to mention dinners with Jazzy and whatnot."

"Gotcha. Well, I'll put in a good word for you, so will Em."

Edward smiles at me, "Thanks friend!"

"You're welcome," I smile back at him.

Neither one of us seems to have anything particularly interesting to say, so we just kind of sit there staring and smiling at one another. In most instances, this would be awkward, but it's totally not. It's actually rather refreshing to just sit with someone and not feel the need to fill the air with unnecessary chatter. Edward is the first to break the companionable silence.

"So, what's your favorite song from the catalog of White?"

"You really can't expect me to just pick one," I answer.

He laughs, "Fine, what are your favorite _songs_ from the catalog of White?"

I look at him seriously, "This is gonna take a while, you know?"

"I've got all afternoon," he responds.


	13. I Want To Be The Boy To Warm Your Mother

Author's Note and Disclaimer:

Oh hey everybody! It's been a while. So long, in fact that I hope I still have at least a few readers. I fully realize I suck for keeping you waiting so long. Since our 'concert season' is over, I'll hopefully get back on track and be more consistent with my updates. *fingers crossed*

Amanda, my friend, thanks for not badgering me about this. I know you were anxious to read some new stuff, but you were never a cuntish about it and that I appreciate. :o)

As always, most character names and all song titles do NOT belong to me: they are the property of Stephenie Meyer and The White Stripes respectively.

Thank you so much for sticking with me, everyone! Hope it was worth the wait…

***I Want To Be The Boy To Warm Your Mother's Heart***

Chapter 13

**EDWARD**

I reach for another burger, "These are delicious, Mrs. Swan."

"Why thank you, Edward! You know all three of my children turned their noses up the first time I told them I was serving up black bean burgers," Renee confides. "And please, call me Renee."

"Where's Mikey at, Bells?" Charlie asks, "He's normally front and center for bean burgers."

Bella glances at J before answering her father, "Um I think he's hanging out with Angela."

"Well, where is she?" he persists.

She hesitates a little, "I think she had some project to finish for the school paper."

He starts to ask another question, but Renee cuts him off.

"Edward would you like some more potatoes?" she asks, offering me the bowl.

"No thanks, Renee," I say pointing to the huge pile of potatoes already on my plate.

She smiles at me and looks to J, "How 'bout you, J?"

"No, ma'am. I'm still working on my burgers."

She puts the bowl back down on the table.

"What am I, chopped liver? I'd like some more potatoes!" Bella pouts.

Renee shrugs, "The bowl's right there, sweetie."

Bella looks a little hurt, "Why didn't you offer me any before you put the bowl down?"

"It's called hospitality, Bella! Edward and J are our guests," Renee says to her.

"J's here all the time, he doesn't count," Bella smirks.

Her mother furrows her brow, "Oh be quiet and just enjoy your dinner."

J sticks his tongue out at Bella, causing Charlie and Seth to chuckle.

She jabs her fork at him in a threatening manner, "Yeah, keep it up buddy."

J was here when we arrived, having just dropped Alice off. Renee insisted that he stay for dinner too, since Emmett was going to my house to have dinner with Rosalie. I'll admit, when I found out that we were having 'black bean' burgers and roasted potatoes, I was kind of scared. My doubts were squashed as soon as I took my first bite. These little burgers are delicious and the potatoes are totally amazing. Bella was right; her mom is a very good cook.

"So how're you liking Forks so far, Edward?" Charlie asks.

I finish swallowing what food I have in my mouth before answering, "So far, so good, Chief. Everyone has been very welcoming."

He nods, "That's good to hear. And your family, they're adjusting as well?"

I smile, "Yes, they're all adjusting quite well."

"You thinkin' about getting a job?"

"Funny you ask, I was just bugging Bella earlier to put in a good word for me at Newton's. I like having my own money," I reply.

He gives another nod, "The Newtons are good people. Bell can attest to that."

"Dad, do you have to be such a cop right now?" Bella huffs.

"Isabella, I'm just making friendly conversation," he huffs back.

"No, you're being nosy," Bella accuses.

He shrugs, "So what? I like being nosy."

"So, it's rude."

"So, I can't help it, I'm a cop," the chief smiles as if he's made the best point ever.

"How about some music?" Renee asks, effectively putting an end to the bickering.

Taking it upon herself to play DJ, Bella jumps up from the table and heads to the living room.

"How 'bout something other than Jack White, Bells!" Charlie shouts to her after a few moments.

We hear a loud sigh and then her disembodied voice shouts back, "I know, Dad!"

A few seconds later Bob Dylan starts singing about the changin' times. Bella reenters the room and sits back down, smiling.

"Good choice," her father winks at her.

The table falls into silence again as we continue to eat. J reaches out for a few more burgers. That reminds me, I really need to talk to Alice about what she's doing. She said she'd explain, but she hasn't yet. I had every intention of texting her, but Bella didn't finish listing her favorite Jack White songs until nearly six o'clock. We barely made it on time for dinner. In normal cases I would've just texted while driving, but I figured I should use more caution with Bella in the car. Besides, I'm sure Alice knows what she's doing. I just hope she explains everything soon, at least for Jasper's sake. He can only take so much. Thinking of Jasper makes me think of him calling me 'Eddie-Eddie-jandro' earlier and I snort a little into my cup just as I'm taking a drink, causing everyone to stare.

I smile sheepishly, "Sorry."

Renee simply smiles back and looks at Seth, "How's school going for you, my sweetpea?"

"Fine Mom, and could you not call me 'sweetpea'?" he answers, blushing.

"I'm sorry, pumpkin. Would you prefer 'snooky-wookums'?"

"Mom," Seth scowls at her.

She acts as though she's trying to process his request, "'Puddy-wuddy-pumpkin-pie'?"

"MOM!" he looks outraged.

His father decides to save him, "You ready for practice tomorrow, son?"

Seth immediately perks up and starts prattling on about how he thinks practice is going to go. J joins in the conversation as well and I inwardly frown a little. If the circumstances were different I'd be talking with them too, but I don't think that's an option for me now. As they discuss sports, Bella and Renee sit quietly with looks of boredom on their faces.

I lean over the table and speak softly, "I thought you liked football."

"I don't mind watching it being played, but I hate having to hear about it all the time. They're even worse when Emmett's here, trust me."

"So this is what you normally do? Look bored out of your mind?" I ask.

She nods, "Pretty much, unless Angela is here. She keeps me entertained."

"Have you heard from her?"

"Nope. No word from Mikey either," she says worriedly.

I try to change the subject, "So do you plan on beheading anyone with your hockey stick tomorrow?"

She smiles at me and I feel like I've won a prize, "Maybe. It all depends on who's on the opposing team."

I laugh at her and turn to the other silent person at the table, "Renee really, these are amazing. You must give me the recipe to pass along to Esme."

"You got it, sweetie! They are pretty time consuming, but the end result is worth it," Renee offers.

We all continue our own conversations. The guys stick to sports while the ladies stick to anything and everything. Although I wish I could talk sports, I find myself being much more entertained by the inane things Bella and Renee chatter about.

"I don't know why he's even with her. Seriously, what the heck did ScarJo do to deserve Ryan Reynolds? I mean honestly, it makes me sick."

"And then Theresa went crazy! She called her a prostitution-whore and flipped the table!"

"There's absolutely no way he can listen to her singing without wanting to shove scissors into his ears! He was engaged to Alanis for-like-ever, so he knows what decent singing sounds like and that's most definitely not it!"

"Danielle is just a crack-pot! She actually took those thug friends of hers to the Brownstone! She had to know what would happen. And don't even get me started on Kim G."

This back and forth continues through the rest of dinner; Bella expressing her distaste for Scarlet Johansen and Renee going on about some housewives. I don't get the chance to determine if she's talking about actual people she knows or not, because Bella whisks me up to her room as soon as we're finished.

"Give me your pod," she states when we get upstairs.

"I'm sorry, my what?"

She smiles at my confusion, "Your pod, assface. Your iPod."

"Oh. Sure," I say as I walk over to my backpack and get it for her.

While she starts up her laptop and plugs in my iPod, I make myself at home in her room. I peruse her DVD and CD collection. I check out some of her books. I take some time studying the pictures she has tacked to the wall of her friends and her. I stop when I come to a shelf with little wooden dolls spread across it.

"What the hell are these?" I ask her.

She looks over to where I'm standing and pointing and answers, "Troikas."

"Pardon."

"Troikas," she says again, before going on, "Russian nesting dolls."

"Why?"

She looks at me as if the answer is obvious, "Um, because they're awesome. Duh."

I cock my head to the side and wait for her to elaborate.

"Those are official White Stripes nesting dolls. Only 1,000 were made. I got them off of eBay from some bloke, teehee 'bloke', in Engerland," she says proudly.

"And why are they so special?"

She sighs, "Because each of the dolls is painted to depict Jack and Meg in the clothing they wore on each of their albums."

I turn back around to study these 'awesome' dolls again, "What about the little ones?"

"Well that would be the peppermint doll which represents the essence of The White Stripes," she replies.

"Of course they are," I smirk.

Bella narrows her eyes at me, "I don't like your tone, sir."

I widen my eyes innocently, "I don't know what you're talking about, miss."

"Sure you don't. It's all fun and games until I make sure that the entire ABBA anthology is added to your iPod in place of the The Black Keys," she threatens.

I instantly go serious, "Okay, that shit's not funny."

"I'm just saying, don't dis the troikas," she says before turning back to her laptop.

My phone vibrates in my pocket. I know it's Alice before I even pull it out to check.

- _when will you be home_?

- eventually.

- _edward._

- i don't know. bella is adding some stuff to my ipod now. what's up?

- _i need a mediator for jasper and me._

- what happened?

- _he's not too keen on me plotting with j._

- no fucking shit.

- _don't be an ass._

- don't get pissy.

- _edward, he's not talking to me. :o(_

Uh-oh. This has the potential to be serious. Jasper just doesn't not talk to Alice.

- shit.

- _yeah, i know_.

- okay, i'll text him and see if i can get him to talk to you. i'll be home soon.

- _thank you._

- don't think you're off the hook yet. you've got some 'splaining to do when i get there.

I look over and make sure that Bella is still busy with my iPod before I text Jasper.

- you have to talk to her, man.

- _edward don't._

- she's going crazy. you can't not talk to her.

- _did she tell you her plan?_

- not yet, but she will.

- _then don't tell me what I can and can not do until you know the whole story._

Wow. He's really pissed. I don't text him back. I know it won't do any good.

- al… no dice. he's pissed. we'll sort it out when i get home. i'll leave in a few.

- _thankyouthankyouthankyou._

I flip my phone closed and find Bella looking at me with concern.

"What's wrong?"

"Oh Jasper is just upset that I'm not home yet," I lie.

"Oh my gosh, I'm sorry I kept you. I didn't even ask if you wanted to come up here, I just dragged you along. Jasper's going to hate me," she rambles.

Despite my family drama, I have to laugh at her, "Bella, it's totally okay. He'll get over it, I swear."

She's still frowning, "Yeah, but first I called shotgun on the way to your house, then I monopolized your time there, then I made you come have coffee and stay for dinner. I suck."

"You don't suck! Seriously, if I didn't want to hang out, I wouldn't have," I try to calm her down.

"If you say so," she gives me a little smile, but still sounds doubtful.

I smile back, "I _do_ say so. I have to shove off though. Are you finished with my 'pod'?"

She nods and hands me my iPod. I collect my backpack and she walks me downstairs. We pop into the kitchen quickly, so I can say goodbye to her parents and thank them again for inviting me to dinner. Renee makes us wait a few minutes as she rustles up that recipe for Esme. When we finally break free and head out of the front door, we're both surprised to see J is sitting on the front stoop. He gets up as we step out.

"Hey guys!" he greets us then nods to me, "Edward, you leaving already?"

"Yeah, Jasper won't stop texting me, so I figured it was time to roll out."

"Ah. Cool. Bells, can we talk?" he asks her nervously.

We can both tell by her face that she's still annoyed with him for whatever it was he did to upset Angela, but he looks just so damned forlorn that she keeps any snide comments she might have to herself. She hooks her arm through his, "Sure thing, Jakey."

He exhales, happy that she's taking pity on him, "Thanks Bells, thanks."

"Yeah, yeah," she says before directing her attention back to me, "Well thanks for bringing me home."

"No problem. Thanks for the coffee. And dinner. And the music," I reply as I move towards my car.

She smiles, "No problem. Text me later? Let me know if Jasper hates me."

I open my car door and laugh, "He doesn't hate you, but yeah… I'll text."

"Rock! Later."

"Later," I say and wave to them before getting into the Volvo and starting the engine.

As I pull off I see Bella leading J around the side of the house, to the back yard I assume. I have a feeling that whatever he needs to talk to her about is the same thing Alice needs to talk to me about. What have they gotten themselves into? It can't be anything good. Jasper isn't even talking to Alice. I can't recall a time when he was even annoyed with her. And apparently Angela is M.I.A. I don't have a feeling about this.

On my way home, I take the opportunity to listen to more of the Jack White CD. It really is good stuff. There's no doubt in my mind that Bella will like The Black Keys. She might not love them like I do, but she'll have to appreciate the talent. I'm annoyed that I left the track list for this CD at home. I have no idea what song I'm listening to, but it's good nonetheless. For the time being the CD helps me forget the drama waiting for me.

I think about going straight to my room, but I decide it's best to drop in the living room to talk to Dad and Esme first. They're cuddled up on the couch watching Top Chef. Esme brightens when she sees me.

"Edward, you're home! How was dinner? Isn't Renee just the nicest woman?"

I smile and make my way over to kiss her cheek, "Yes, she's very nice. Dinner was great. She made black bean burgers," before Esme can open her mouth, I pull the recipe out from my back pocket, "Before you even ask, here's the recipe."

She claps her hands in excitement, an action she adopted from Alice, "You know me too well, thank you!"

"You'll thank me by making them for dinner soon," I tell her.

"You got it," she smiles at me.

I throw my hand up in farewell, "I'm heading upstairs, night."

They both wish me goodnight and I go upstairs to my room, which is where I find Alice crying on the floor, surrounded by tissues.

"He's still not talking to me," she sniffles.

Though I kind of want to chuckle at her theatrics, I force myself to keep a straight face and hunker down next to her.

"Care to explain exactly why he's not talking to you, Al?" I urge.

She takes a few deep breaths, blows her nose and begins her explanation, "So today was pretty much just like yesterday. We had home ec and English, yadda yadda yadda. Well during lunch I started thinking about the whole J and Angela situation. It really started to bother me. Seriously, is it just me or is it totally obvious he's retarded for her?"

I open my mouth to admit she has a point, but she keeps talking.

"You don't have to answer, because I know I'm right. It was that moment I started to formulate a plan. I knew if I got J to admit his true feelings to someone beside himself that it might jump-start him into taking some sort of action. I didn't mention it to anyone else because I wasn't 100% sure he'd go with it. So during bio I flat out asked him how he felt. He was a bit resistant at first, but then he spilled like BP. He admitted how crazy it makes him to see her with Eric and how he thinks about her pretty much at all times. He's so scared of making a move because what if she doesn't feel the same way!"

I again open my mouth to contribute thoughts on the matter, but Alice is still not having it.

"Of course she feels the same way! That's exactly what I told him. She's just too fucking polite to kick Eric to the curb. At least since she doesn't think she has a good reason. I mean, let's face it, J really isn't going out of his way to admit his undying love, so why should she jeopardize everything she has for a guy who might not really be into her. I told him this too! I told him he was a dink and that he needs to be much more assertive. I'm not letting Angela totally off the hook though. She sits next to me in Spanish. J is seriously all she talks about. I had to specifically ask about Eric in order for her to mention his name and even then the story she told me related back to J. What the fuck, man? How can she not see it?"

By this time, I know not to attempt an answer. She'd just cut me off anyway.

"So I told J that I thought he should try to date another girl. You know, to make Angela realize what she's missing and whatnot? He said that he didn't feel comfortable doing that, because he wouldn't want to just use someone like that. And then the idea hit me like a fucking ton of bricks!"

Now she's getting to the root of the problem, "Al, you didn't."

She ignores me, "I told him that I could totally pose as his love interest. I'm not looking for a boyfriend, obviously, and what better way to make sure other guys don't hit on me, right? So we formulated a plan. First step, he'd start talking about me more when he's around her. Second step, he starts giving me rides home. Third step, maybe dinner or a movie? Not sure yet, but there will be a third step. What I didn't count on was Jasper going all caveman on me!"

"What happened when you got home? Did you explain this to him?" I ask.

A few tears fall before she starts talking. She pauses to compose herself before continuing, "I really thought he would be cool with this. After I got in the car with J I texted him and told him that I loved only him and that I would be home soon. I should've known by his lack of text that he was still bothered. We went for ice cream before J brought me home. Nothing happened, I swear. Seth was there the entire time. The kid was even helping us plot out our next move! I tried to explain this to Jasper, but he won't even listen. He says I kept him in the dark and I should've given him proper warning. He says that it's not fair that I asked you to not to rock the boat, when I'm doing just that. He said we hardly get to see one another at school and if I'm being J's 'girlfriend', I won't have time for him when he needs me. And…"

"Al," I cut her off.

She sniffles again, "What?"

I smile at her, "Breathe."

She sits quietly for a few minutes just breathing in and out. I lean over and put my arm around her shoulders. Her eyes get a little watery, but no more tears are shed, "Edward, this is a mess."

I nod, "Yeah, it is. But we'll sort it out."

"You really think so?" she asks, helplessly.

I give her a little squeeze, "I know so. Come on," I say easing her up off the floor, "Let's go talk to Jasper."

She lets me lead her to Jasper's room and opts to sit outside in the hallway while I go in. When I enter, Jasper is sitting on his beanbag chair, watching The Golden Girls. I take the chair from his desk and roll it over to sit next to him.

"What's going on, man?"

"Did she tell you what she's doing?" he asks without looking at me.

I nod, even though he doesn't see it, "Yes. It's a pretty crazy idea, I'll admit."

"Did you talk her out of it?"

"Since when can anyone but you talk Al out of doing anything?"

Jasper turns to me calmly, "Edward, I don't want her doing this."

"I get it man, but did you even listen to her reasons?"

He rolls his eyes at me, "She wants to fake-date Jacob Black in order to get Angela Weber to realize what she's missing out on. I don't want her doing this. What if he falls for her instead? Or worse, what if she falls for him?"

I look at him as if he's crazy, because he is, "Are you out of your fucking mind?"

"It's entirely possible! Some things are too good to be true. Maybe Jacob has something to offer that I don't. I don't want to lose her, man."

"You really are out of your fucking mind," I shake my head at him in disbelief.

"I can't help it. The thought of losing her makes me want to lock myself alone in my room and listen to Iron and Wine ad nauseam."

Now that would be painful, "Let's make sure it doesn't come to that, okay Jas?"

He sighs and looks at me, "So what do I do?"

"Let me give you a scenario: Say you and Alice met when you were in kindergarten. Say that the only girl you ever really noticed was her and her alone. And say that you had to sit aside while she dated someone else when you were so close to admitting your feelings. Wouldn't you pray for some angel to come along and help you get your girl?"

"Maybe," he admits begrudgingly.

"Dude, you met Al only a few years ago and you would kill for her. J has known Angela for a lot fucking longer. How do you think he feels having to see the girl he would kill for with another guy?"

"He probably feels like shit," he mumbles.

"Exactly! So can't you understand, even a little, why she's doing this?" I implore.

He sighs deeply again, "Maybe."

I know I've got him, "Come on, man. You know Alice. Ever since she met you she's been all about love. They went for ice cream after school, which is why she wasn't home right away. The kid was with them the entire time. In their defense, J and Angela totally belong together. He's a good guy. No way would he make a move on Al. Besides, if he did, she'd kick in him the ball sack."

I see that his resistance is close to crumbling, so I put the final nail in the coffin, "Give her some credit. The fact that you even thought for a moment that she could fall for someone else is an insult to you both. You should feel like an ass for saying it out loud."

Jasper hangs his head, "I'm such a fucking douche bag. Why does she even like me?"

"Probably because you have that accent and a really sweet ass," I say completely straight-faced.

He jerks his head up to look at me and I'm not able to maintain my stoic façade. We both erupt into hysterical laughter. After a few minutes we pull ourselves together.

"You think she'll forgive me?" he asks.

"Duh. She's gonna be so happy you're talking to her again, she won't even remember why you were fighting in the first place," I admit, then add, "she's waiting in the hall."

Jasper flies off of the bed and opens his door. Without a word, he pulls Alice up off of the floor and starts kissing her face. Alice caught off guard, starts crying and laughing all at the same time. Both of them offer apologies and undying love to each other in between kisses.

"I'm so sorry, I'm such an ass."

"No, I'm sorry. I should've told you the idea as soon as it came to me."

"I should've trusted you to know what you were doing."

"I should've known it would take you a little time to deal with my plan."

"Regardless, it's a plan of yours and I never should've doubted you."

"I love you so much. Please, let's never fight again."

"Never Mary Alice, you're my everything. I love you."

I leave them there in Jasper's room and go back to my own. On my way there I come across someone I didn't expect.

"Oh hey, Emmett," I greet him.

"Hey man, what's up? Are you just getting home?" he asks.

"Nah, I've been home for about a half hour. You heading out?"

He nods, "Yeah. Rosie is waiting downstairs to see me off. I had to take a leak."

I laugh, "Oh, how lovely."

"Yup, that's one word for it. How was dinner?"

"It was really good. You mom made bean burgers," I tell him.

"Fucking-A. I hope there are some left over!"

We hear Rosalie call up from the bottom of the stairs, "Em! Did you get lost?"

"Coming Rosie!" he shouts to her. He turns back to me, "See you later, man."

I throw my hand up in goodbye, "Later."

He bounds down the stairs and I finally get to my room. I'm delighted to find myself with nothing to do. Now would be a perfect time to give a good listen to that CD. Fuck. I left it in the car. Oh well. I grab my iPod out of my backpack and start scrolling my playlists for something to listen to as I go the bathroom to brush my teeth. I pause when I see a new playlist titled 'Edward's Education'. I promptly select it and see that Bella has added the CD she made me directly to my iPod. Fucking score! That girl truly is amazing. I start with 'Broken Boy Soldier', I don't remember listening to that one earlier. I brush my teeth and retire to my room for the rest of the night, pausing my iPod long enough to change into my sleep pants, but I turn it back on as soon as I'm comfortable in bed. I'm able to get through all of the songs and I can't help but wonder why I never listened to Jack White's work before now.

Even though Bella requested that I listen to the songs in order at least three times, I skip through and listen to a select few that really caught my attention. When I finally look at the clock it's nearly midnight. I know it's late, but I can't resist shooting off a quick text to Bella before I go to sleep.

- #1 - jazzy is totally not mad at you. #2 - so is the boyfriend the milkman?


	14. Attention

Author's Note and Disclaimer:

Once again, I find myself apologizing for the horrible update delay. Believe me when I tell you there have been a number of things that have contributed to my tardiness… they include, but are definitely NOT limited to the following:

Limited internet access.

Veggie Pizzas.

Bridal Showers.

Bachelorette Parties.

A Scotsman who loved my boobs. (Seriously… I was so in like with this guy.)

A man with jacked-up feet and a penchant for cocaine. (His name was Ned.)

Eric… a location manager who knew an awful lot about the Jersey Shore.

The daughter of a political official. (Name omitted to protect the innocent.)

Copious amounts of alcohol.

Seamen.

Tony Romo.

Dog bites.

Off-road segways.

Family drama.

Tupperware parties.

Football games.

Vampire Diaries.

True Blood.

Top Chef.

The return of Glee and Gossip Girl.

The Blessing and the Curse.

Dress shopping.

Accessory shopping.

Dog sitting.

Wedding week.

Seating charts.

Birthday dinners.

Cranky sisters.

Friend drama.

It's been a busy fucking month, to say the least.

I need to take a moment to urge everyone to read 'The Blessing and the Curse', by The Black Arrow. This story is amazing. Quite frankly it's one of the best fanfic stories I've read. I get most of my stories from my beta and this is one I would constantly inquire about. (_"Has Blessing and Curse updated yet? No? WHAT THE FUCK, I NEED IT!"_) I was a little irrational when it came to this one, but I had the right to be, because it **IS** that awesome. Love love love it…please check it out. If it makes a difference, it's a totally completed story. So you won't be left waiting for updates now. I can't say enough good things about it.

To Amanda (my beta): HELLLOOOOO! Are you serious right now! BOOOORRING! (She'll understand…trust me.)

As always, most character names and all song titles and lyrics do NOT belong to me: they are the property of Stephenie Meyer, The Raconteurs, The Dead Weather and The Black Keys respectively.

Until next time…

Beta Note: This would have been up sooner had ffn not been a douche the other night. And since the A/N is already pretty effin' long, I figured I'd add a note for C to see when she reads over this once it posts. That note is: 'Love yooou... like a sister!' kekekeke!

***Attention***

Chapter 14

**BELLA**

"Uh huh… Of course… Mmmmhmmm… I hear you…"

"Bella, you're not even listening," Angela pouts on the other end of the phone.

She's right. I'm not listening. I'm actually in the process of giving myself a manicure. My cuticles are in bad fucking shape, but she doesn't really need to know this.

"Uh, I totally am!" I defend myself.

"Then what did I just say?" she challenges.

Fuck. What _did_ she say? With the way the conversation has been going, it can only be about one of two things, so I take a random shot at it.

"You were talking about how cute Alice's clothes are?" I answer-question, hoping I'm right.

She sighs, "Oh, so you actually _were_ listening."

I fucking win, "Yeah, I told you I was."

"Anyway, how are we supposed to compete with that?" she laments.

I'm thankful she can't see me when I roll my eyes, "We don't have to, Ang. _We_ already have boyfriends."

This does not deter her, "How much do we know about Alice anyway?"

"Well not too much, since we all just met her yesterday. I like her though. I want to know her better."

"Apparently so does J," she mutters, more to herself than to me.

She's probably going to hate me for saying this, but I can't resist, "Well I think it's cute. I mean, J hasn't really had a crush on a girl since Cheetara," I chuckle at my own cleverness, before shouting, "THUNDERCATS, HOOOOOOOO!"

"Bellaaaa," Angela whines.

"What?"

"Nothing. I'm going to bed. See you tomorrow."

"G'night, Ang!" I say and hang up.

I check the time. Shit, it's nearly midnight. My friends have kept me busy tonight. First I had J with his ridiculous, but still genius, plan. Then I had Angela fretting about the budding 'relationship' between J and Alice.

After Edward left, J and I headed to the back porch to talk. In a rush, he finally admitted to being absolutely head over heels for Angela. My response had been 'duh'. That dumbass was actually surprised that I knew. I then had to break the news to him that _everyone_ knows, except Angela. My parents even know. Of course, he felt embarrassed and asked why we never said anything. I told him it wasn't our place. Apparently Alice felt otherwise, and really, good for her! Sure, we've all _wanted_ to say the same things that she said to him, but I guess we were all just too chicken shit. After a very productive bio class, J set out to fake-court Alice. In turn, she's going to fake-fall for it. That will culminate with the fake-dating. As I said, it's a genius plan.

Angela is so in love with J, it's stupid. That is why I told him that he had my total support. If he wants me and James to double date, we'll do it. If he wants me to shop with Alice, I'll do it. If he wants me to take an ad out in the paper, to declare to the town of fucking Forks that he's dating Mary Alice Cullen, I'll do that shit gladly. I'm willing to do pretty much anything to get my thick lump of a friend to realize that she meant to be with J. Judging by the phone call I got from her already, it shouldn't take much to set her over the edge.

I don't think for a second what we're doing is a bad thing. Well, I guess it will be for Eric, but he's a nice kid, he'll understand. What am I saying, of course he'll understand, because just like everyone else, _he knows that Angela loves J_. He's selfish for dating her for so long anyway knowing that. That smarmy little bastard. Ugh. Anyway, we decided that it would be in everyone's best interest to keep this between us. The people in the know are: J, Alice, me and the kid. Seth's been nominated to be the hype man for the new couple. He's more than eager to perform this task. He's never liked Eric and he's not shy about saying it.

"Ugh, I can't stand that guy, J. I don't know how you've been so good about that entire thing. Angie's your girl, you know?" the kid joined us for a good part of our back porch conversation.

"I know kid, but I didn't want to mess with her happiness. I thought he was what she wanted."

"You're an ass," Seth and I said at the same time. Then it was back to plotting.

There was talk about bringing Mikey into the mix, but I felt that he would play it up too much, so we decided against it. I love that kid with my whole heart, but it really is best for him to remain in the dark. Emmett is definitely not being told either. That fucker can't ever keep a secret. Nah, we need to be as close-lipped as possible.

The one thing that was kind of throwing us off was home ec. We couldn't decide if J should ask Angela to swap out with Alice for lab partners, or if we should keep things as is. If they were to swap, Angela would have to suffer through class watching J and Alice in full-fledged coupledom. If things stay as is, J would still be able to fake-flirt with Alice, which would force Angela to steal his attention for herself. In the end, we all decided that the latter was the best choice. J left feeling a lot better about things. As Seth and I were coming back into the house, we came across Emmett raiding the fridge.

"What were you guys doing outside?" he asked, half a bean burger hanging from his mouth.

"Just hanging out with J, that's all," I said nonchalantly.

"Oh," was his only response, before he shoved another burger into his mouth.

His manners are atrocious, "Emmett, what the fuck? I know Esme fed you!"

"Of course she did. She's a decent cook. Have you met her? Isn't she pretty? Well, not as pretty as Rosie, because Rosie is Rosie," he rambled, still looking for other things to shove in his mouth.

I had to laugh at him, "Yes, she's pretty. She looks good for being a mother of twins. Dr. Cullen isn't too bad either."

"Well I wasn't looking him. You know what they say: You know what a woman is gonna look like later on in life by looking at her mother. So far, I like what I see," he wagged his eyebrows.

"So you're saying that you think Esme is a MILF?" I questioned.

"Hell yeah! What? I mean, NO! I didn't say that!" he stammered.

I looked at him in shock, "Oh my god! You totally want to fuck her mother!"

He was exasperated, "Shut up! I didn't say that! Not once did I say that!"

Before I could respond, Seth did, "Oh you totally did, sir! You said she was a MILF!"

Emmett's face started to turn red, "Well yeah, but…"

The kid held his ground, "No no. There's no 'but', that's what you said."

"That's not what I fucking meant and you two fucking know it!" he shouted.

"I know what I fucking heard," I fired back and Seth nodded.

Emmett let out a half shriek-half groan, "Fuck you both!"

He stomped out of the kitchen and the kid and I had a good laugh to ourselves, before I went upstairs, which was when Angela called me. I took her phone call as an opportunity to clean my room. While she ranted, I put my clothes away, organized my CDs, I even dusted off my beloved troikas. When I was out of things to clean or straighten, I settled in and started on my nails. They're looking pretty good now, if I do say so myself.

As I apply my final coat of black polish, my cell lights up. My stomach does a little somersault when the screen shows that I have a text from Edward. I hastily flip it open, not caring whether or not I fuck up my nails.

-_ #1 - jazzy is totally not mad at you. #2 - so is the boyfriend the milkman?_

I squeal. Because I'm happy that Jasper isn't angry at me for keeping Edward away from him and because it's obvious that he's been listening to the music I gave him. He actually _listened_ to the words of 'Carolina Drama'. He didn't just have it playing in the background while he did other shit. This warms my heart. I have to respond.

- awww…yay. that's good news. :)

- OMG! i'd like to think that the boyfriend is the milkman, but no one really knows for sure. there are tons of theories out there.

If it weren't so late, I'd be jumping up in down in sheer excitement. Instead, I bounce over to my desk, grab my pod, plug it into its dock, quickly locate the song in question and do my best to keep from singing.

"_I'm not sure if there's a point to the story, but I'm going to tell it again._

_So many other people try to tell the tale, not one of them knows the end._"

I let the story of Billy and his little brother fill my room as I wait for Edward's response.

- _wtf are you still doing up?_

- painting my nails. what're you still doing up?

- _listening to this cd. i confess, I'm listening out of order. :(_

- dude, what the hell?

- _i'm sorry. i couldn't help it!_

- eh. it's okay i suppose. you like carolina drama i take it?

- _i really do, but i'm confused as fuck now._

- :) it has that affect on everyone.

- _lol. good to know. how's j? he looked upset earlier._

- he's okay. just needed to talk.

- _he told you about his and alice's plot, didn't he?_

Holy shit! He's not supposed to know about this. Do I play dumb? No. That's stupid. Why would I do that?

- she told you, huh? i thought it was gonna be on the down low.

- _i'm her twin. there's not much she can keep from me._

- are you the only one who knows?

- _i'm not sure if she told jasper not. i haven't asked. emmett?_

- definitely not. the kid knows though.

- _ah, cool. so?_

- so?

- _totally crazy idea?_

- totally and completely. but i think it's about fucking time.

- _:)_

- i'm sick of seeing j pine. it's nice that he's finally doing something about it.

- _what's the plan for tomorrow? home ec?_

- everything stays as is. they'll flirt and whatnot. we act clueless.

- _easy enough._

- i think so. :)

- _sweet. okay, i'mma crash. night bella._

- night!

I smile and flip my cell closed. After a quick trip to the bathroom to brush my teeth, I turn in for the night. The fact that James never texted me doesn't even dawn on me until morning. Even then it only occurs to me because I'm wondering how I'm getting to school. I contemplate texting him, but decide not to. I can find my own way. I'm in the kitchen, eating my delicious Pop Tarts when J comes though the back door.

"Hey Bells! Where's the kid? He's supposed to ride with me," he asks as he takes a bit of tart off of my plate.

"He should be down momentarily. There are more tarts in the cabinet if you want some, you know?"

"Nah, I'm good," he shakes his head as he snags another bite.

"Careful J, you saw what she did to Emmett," Seth says coming into the kitchen.

J reaches over and muss my hair, "Whatevs, she won't hurt me, will you Bells? Speaking of Emmett though, where is he?"

I bat his hand away, "He left early to go pick up Rosalie. And no, I won't hurt you."

He smiles and then looks at the kid, "You ready to roll?"

Seth picks up his bag off of chair, "Yup. Bella, you coming with us?"

I give his offer a few seconds thought, "No. I think I'll drive myself actually. I'll see you guys soon."

They leave through the back door. I make sure the kitchen is straightened up, go upstairs and collect my things, then roll out. Once I'm in my truck and on my way, I choose The Dead Weather to serenade me on my drive. By the time I pull into the school lot and park, I'm singing along loudly with Miss Alison Mosshart. I close my eyes, really getting into the song.

"_Come over here pony, I wanna climb up one time on you_!"

I'm startled when I hear and feel something slamming into the front of the truck. My eyes snap open to see a fucking asshole jumping on my bumper. The 'fucking asshole' being Emmett. Rosalie stands a few yards behind him, holding both of their book-bags and trying not to laugh. He smiles, very pleased with himself, but doesn't even stick around to give me a hard time, he just goes to where Rosalie is standing, takes both bags from her and they continue on to the school.

"Mother fucker," I grumble to myself.

I hop out of my truck and make my way inside, stopping here and there along the way to speak with whoever greets me. On my way to my locker I spot James talking to Tyler in the main hall. I walk up and stand beside him quietly until he finally notices I'm there.

"I can't believe we never even...oh hey babe," he stops his sentence short to acknowledge me.

"Hey. What happened to texting me last night?"

"Oh well, the game wasn't over until late. I didn't want to wake you up, you know?" he looks nervous.

"I was up until midnight or so, you wouldn't have woken me," I raise an eyebrow at him, "Why do you look nervous?"

"I'm not nervous," he says, his voice an octave higher than it usually is. Then again, maybe I'm just being paranoid, more importantly, I just don't care. I change the subject.

"So how was the game?"

James glances at Tyler before answering, "It was good. At least I thought so. Tyler, what did you think?"

"Oh it was phenomenal! That last play was so well orchestrated, there's no way they could pull that off again," Tyler states factually.

James chuckles, "I'm not so sure about that, guy. Now that the team knows what they're capable of, there's no telling what they'll do next."

I really do hate football speak, "Right, well you're getting too 'technical' for me. I'm off to home ec. I'll catch you guys later," I give James a quick peck on the cheek and I'm on my merry.

I arrive at home ec to see that Mikey and Angela are already there. Mikey spots me right away.

"Isabella! It's about time!"

I feel my brow furrow, "What do you mean? I'm actually early today."

He acts like he doesn't hear me, "What are we going to do about little Alice and our J?"

"What about them?" I play dumb.

Mikey rolls his eyes at me, "Oh please, Isabella. I saw them in the parking lot canoodling this morning and then again in the main hall not five minute ago."

I'm not going to make this easy on him, "So?"

"So?" he squeaks, outraged.

"Yeah, so? He hasn't had a girlfriend in ages. He was bound to find someone eventually. We shouldn't begrudge him this. Come on, Mikey, this is J we're talking about. He's a seriously great catch. He deserves this, don't you think?" I implore him.

"She's right," we hear Angela admit, rather sadly. We both turn to stare at her.

"What did you say, Ang?" Mikey asks, his shock evident.

Angela takes a deep breath, "Bella's right. If Alice is what J wants, then we should support his decision. He would be the first one to support us and you know it, Mikey."

He rolls his eyes, unwilling to admit we're right. At that moment, our three kitchen partners enter the room. They walk over to join us and we make small talk until the teacher calls the class to order. Today we're going to work in pairs in order to make the 'perfect' omelet. It doesn't get more exciting than this.

Edward and I start discussing ingredients and various other things, namely Jack White. During class, I steal looks at Angela and J. I notice at least a few times, she has to get his attention from Alice. I can tell she's trying really hard to not let it get to her. If I didn't know her so well, I'd have no idea that anything was wrong. By the time class is over, the entire room smells of egg and Alice has once again charmed Mikey back to her side.

"Oh little Alice, those were by far the best eggs I've ever had," Mikey gushes as we head out of the class.

Alice smiles at him, "It's all about the garlic."

I reluctantly part ways with everyone once we're in the hallway and head to Spanish. My morning ends up being just like yesterdays. Of course today I avoid getting into trouble in English. I get periodical texts from Angela, J, Alice and, to my great delight, Edward.

Angela's messages consist mostly of facts about Alice. Her hair is really cute. Her clothes are really cute. Her voice is really cute. And apparently even her handwriting is really cute.

J's messages have been giving me a play-by-play of Angela's reactions. She rolled her eyes when he complimented Alice's outfit. She looked away when he asked Alice what her plans were this weekend. She started texting vigorously when he mentioned Alice coming to his game on Friday night. Unless he's exaggerating, which is doubtful, Angela doesn't seem to be adapting very well.

Alice keeps texting me for suggestions on what she can do to push Angela's buttons. I've informed her that any physical contact she can have with him would be ideal. Anything from playful punches to messing with his hair will be enough. I have a strong suspicion that Angela harbors a secret desire to touch J in those ways. The fact that Alice will be able to do what she can't will just irk her that much more. Ha! I'm so mean.

Edward, taking a cue from me yesterday, bombards me with an assload of questions.

- _what do you want to be when you grow up_?

- easy. mrs. jack white.

- _for serious, please._

- that is serious!

- _bella._

- fine...um, i have no clue. for real.

- _:) me either. favorite guilty pleasure show?_

- currently? fucking big brother. ugh. mama swan has me hooked on it now.

- _hahaha!_

- shut it. what's yours?

- _nope. i'm asking the questions today. favorite food?_

- omg. my mom's beef stew.

- _i'll have to have it one day._

- the next time she makes it, it's on! :)

- _what's with the shirt you're wearing today?_

- my third man shirt?

- _i guess?_

- it's from the vault. my future husband sends me presents quarterly. :) this one was the first. it's his record label.

- _so it's third man records?_

- yes. back to the threes. his upholstery business was called 'third man upholstery'. tag line: 'your furniture's not dead'. he's so clever. :)

- _i'm starting to worry about you._

- whatevs.

- _what're you doing?_

- texting you and starting to review the american revolution.

- _exciting times. am I bothering you?_

- not yet.

- _guess i'm not trying hard enough. ) oh, did you talk to the newtons about me?_

- not yet, but i will.

- _when do you work next?_

- saturday.

- _have you listened to any of the black keys yet?_

- i've had howling for you on a loop. :)

- _will you please branch out and listen to more of them?_

- promise.

- _lunch soon. how's that gonna go?_

- we'll stand in line, grab our food, sit down and eat.

- _smart ass. i meant how're things with j and ang gonna play out?_

- i think the kid is gonna swap seats with j. haha.

- _this makes me nervous._

- why?

- _we're here all of 2 days and we're shaking things up. probably not the smartest thing_.

- you're not shaking things up, your sister is.

- _true, but we're kind of a package set. the 4 of us i mean._

- awww...that's sweet.

- _quiet you._

The bell chooses that moment to ring. I collect my things and roll to my locker with Alice. We enter the cafeteria together and go stand in line. Emmett's standing a few people in front of us with Rosalie. They skip back stand with us. As soon as he's next to me, I punch his arm. Hard.

"The fuck was that for?" he bellows.

"That was for scaring the shit out of me this morning, jerky!" I scold.

Rosalie starts giggling, "Oh my goodness! Bella you should've seen your face! It was one of the funniest things I've seen in a while."

"Yeah. Always happy to entertain," I reply dryly.

Alice starts waving at someone who just entered. I turn, expecting to see J, but I see Edward instead. He's with Jasper and they're holding hands. I guess that's sweet, right? I mean, I shouldn't feel a twinge of jealousy, should I? That would be pointless and ridiculous. They head to the back of the line and begin speaking quite animatedly. I notice J come through the doors and he makes a b-line right for us. He takes a moment to greet the kids behind us, so as not to piss them off when he cuts in front of them, then he nudges Alice's shoulder as a hello and she beams at him. I shoot a quick look at our table to see if Angela is there, and if she is there, I want to make sure she's watching these developments. She's looking and she seems less than pleased.

We collect our food, head to our table and lunch proceeds just as it has for the past two days, the exception being that J is now sitting next to Alice…right across from Angela. The kid is now to my right. James bailed on me, yet again, to go sit with Tyler and some other football guys, so Edward is on my left. I like this arrangement. Okay, that's a lie. I'd like this arrangement a lot more if Eric were sitting with the football guys too, but we can't always get what we want. I'm shoving pizza into my mouth as I hear Angela attempting to make small-talk with her boyfriend. Her attempt is short-lived when she realizes that she can't listen to J and Alice's discussion while she's talking. Seth is so excited to be in the thick of things. He's trying his best to perk Angela up and manages to actually pull her into a conversation with J and Alice. They're currently debating about who was the better 'Tonight Show' host: Leno or Conan. I'm about to put in my two pennies when Edward does it for me.

"How is this even a discussion? Conan all the way!" Edward exclaims.

"You only like him because he has red hair," Jasper chimes in.

Edward smiles, "And the freckles, you know how I love freckles."

"Have you seen him do the string dance? That shit is hilarious!" J laughs.

Angela laughs too, "Oh my gosh, those staring contests he used to have with Andy were hysterical."

"_In the year 2,000_!" I sing-song.

Edward nearly chokes on his chocolate milk, "I totally forgot about that!"

"I don't care what you guys say, Leno's 'Jay-Walking' and the 'Headlines' totally trump anything Conan," Alice defends.

Seth looks at her as if she's crazy, "Leno didn't have a masturbating bear, now did he?"

"Good recall, kid!" Edward praises him.

Alice looks totally dumbfounded and opts to keep quiet.

"I don't know, I think my loyalty will always be to Mr. O'Brien. The first time I ever saw The White Stripes perform live was on his show. They did 'Red Rain'. It was incredible," I add.

Emmett decides to join in, "It always comes back to Mr. White, doesn't it, Balls?"

"You know it," I say, biting into my second slice of pizza.

"Isabella, I think it's cute how much you adore him," Jasper offers.

Mikey groans, "Sure, you say that now, but wait until you're stuck with a car with her for hours and that's all she listens to!"

"Um excuse me, Miss Thing. It was not _hours_, it was more like forty minutes. And it was right when 'Horehound' was released, so I had to listen to it," I fire back.

He waves his hand is if to brush aside my comment, "Whatevs."

I reach out and grab the first thing I set my eyes on and chuck it at Mikey's head.

"Isabella! What. The. Fuck," he grits out through his teeth.

"That's for waving me off. You know that shit doesn't fly with me," I grumble.

Mikey goes into full hysterics, "WHAT IF IT WOULD'VE BUSTED OPEN?"

"It didn't," I remain petulant.

"ISABELLA!" he screeches.

"Michael," I mock his tone, only not quite as loudly.

The rest of our crew is giggling like school children. Partly because they are, in fact, school children and partly because this shit is just funny. Mikey looks absolutely mortified. The thrown object in question was a packet of ranch dressing. A _closed_ packet of ranch dressing. Though it might seem as if I acted rashly, and I suppose I did, I still took the nanosecond required to determine what would be the best thing to throw. My first instinct was to toss the entire fucking salt shaker at him, but I realized that might hurt, so I went with the packet o'ranch. _After_ I made sure it was unused of course.

Mikey's looking over every square inch of his clothing, making sure that he doesn't have anything on him. I sigh deeply and offer an olive branch.

"Mikey, you know I'd never do anything to ruin your clothing, right?"

The table hushes to wait for his response, "I don't know what to think anymore, Isabella."

He sounds like he's close to tears. If he wasn't one of my best friends, I might be concerned.

"Oh don't pout, you're fine. Your blazer is fine. Your shirt is fine. Your hair is fine. Perfect even! You're perfect," I schmooze a little more.

He fakes a sniffle, "I don't feel very perfect."

I scoff as if what he's saying is ridiculous, "Um, well then you're obviously blind, because we all see it. Don't we guys?"

Immediately everyone starts throwing out compliments as if they were rehearsed.

"I'd kill for your nail beds," Rosalie starts off.

"Your hair is always so fluffy," Emmett says sincerely.

"That bag of yours is simply to die!" Jasper adds with all the gay flourish he can muster.

"I'm digging your shirt today, man! I know I couldn't pull off pink," J contributes.

Angela smiles, "Don't even get me started on your eyebrows. You know how jealous I am."

Alice gasps, "And those eyelashes? No boy should have eyelashes like that."

"Seriously Mikey, as a dude, I'm kinda glad you're gay. Otherwise, the girls wouldn't even look at the rest of us," the kid artfully throws in. He makes me so proud.

The only people who haven't said a word are Edward and Eric. Eric isn't even paying attention to us, so I'm not surprised. Edward seems at a loss, so I help him out.

Leaning over, I whisper a suggestion in his ear, "Say something about his highlights."

"Mikey, those have to be highlights, right? I can't believe that anyone's hair can be that lovely a blond," Edward says to him sweetly.

Throughout this entire exercise, Mikey has been like a slowly thawing glacier. It's Edward's comment that finally melts him completely.

"I've never colored my hair. Not ever. This is all me," he says, ruffling his hair proudly.

We all react appropriately surprised at his admission and titter on about his 'perfect' hair. Eventually the bell rings to end our great performance.

Edward and I walk to bio together. It's obvious that this is going to be a daily thing and that realization makes me really happy. As we walk, Edward shoots out more questions for me, which I'm happy to answer. It's odd, we've only known each other a few days, but I already feel comfortable with him. Maybe it's because he's gay and I'm not worried about the 'male/female' aspect of things. Well, at least not too worried about it. Just so long as he doesn't touch me. Or whisper in my ear. Or look at me for too long. Ugh, I'm pathetic. I'm able to repeat my 'he's gay' mantra all through bio and those pesky tingles successfully stay at bay.

We part ways at the math hall again and I walk to algebra on my own. Angela's already there and as soon as I take my seat next to her she starts rehashing every look, word and smile that has passed between J and Alice to date. I'm actually thankful when Ms. Jones starts class, making it impossible for Angela to finish her recap. Unfortunately, she remembers just where she left off and continues her diatribe on the way to gym.

It's raining today, so we're made to play 'poor-man's' field hockey yet again. I'm not as brutal with my stick today though, since Jess Stanley's team is on the other side of the gym. Though there was one point where she ran to our side to retrieve a puck and I 'accidentally' sent our puck flying in her direction. She gave me a dirty look, but otherwise, let it go and went back to her team. Once more, we're victorious, but we don't have time to kill after our game like we did yesterday. We barely have enough time to sit down before the final bell rings. While everyone else heads outside to the cars, Alice and I go to our lockers to get our history books. We part ways to save a little time. I go to my locker alone and then backtrack to meet up with Alice.

As I near her locker, I see her and Jasper talking. I can't hear what they're saying, but the way he's smiling at her makes me feel as though I'm intruding on a private moment. He leans forward to whisper something to her. She giggles and pushes his chest playfully, before she spots me and waves. A little overzealous if you ask me.

"Bella! Hey! Jasper and I were just talking about you!" she says rather exuberantly.

"Me?" I question, "Why me? What'd I do?"

Jasper smiles at me, "Oh she was just telling me about your field hockey shenanigans."

"Oh, that. Yeah, I'm pretty bad ass. Not one to be fucked with and whatnot," I shrug. "You guys ready?"

They nod and we exit school and join up with the others to find that Rose and Emmett have already split, so have Angela and Mikey. J is standing next to our cars talking to Edward and Seth. From what I can gather, Angela bolted with Mikey after she heard J mention that he was going to be having dinner with the Cullens tonight.

"That was totally _my_ idea," Seth states proudly.

"Nice touch, kid," Alice smiles at him and looks at J, "F-Y-I, you're taking me home…and staying for dinner."

J shrugs, "Sounds good. I never turn down free food. Are you ready to go now?"

"Yeppers!" she chirps and then hugs me and Seth goodbye, before hopping into the Rabbit with J.

"And then there were four," Jasper says dramatically.

I laugh at him and turn to Seth, "I guess it's just you and me, kid."

"Yeah, J kinda left me high and dry, huh?"

"Eh, I'm sure he figured someone would take pity on you," I tease.

"It's because I'm so damn cute," he says seriously. "You guys heading home now?" he asks Edward and Jasper.

"Yup," Edward answers for the both of them, "I promised Esme I'd help her out with those bean burgers and I'm making Jazzy help too."

"Oh you're such a slave driver!" Jasper gasps, then adds with a wink, "But you know I love it."

We all laugh and then start to move on to our designated vehicles. I give them both a quick hug goodbye before we officially part ways, again repeating the 'he's gay' mantra. It totally works and I climb up into my truck, feeling proud of myself for overcoming my silly physical fascination with Edward Cullen.

About three minutes into our drive home, my cell lights up signaling a text. It's from Edward.

- _btw - you smell amazing. what kind of perfume do you use?_

Son-of-a-bitch.


	15. Broken Boy Soldier

**Author's Note and Disclaimer:**

**A thousand and one apologies for taking so long in updating this. I swear, I haven't forgotten about this story. I think about it at least twice a day, every day. For realsies!**

**Just to confirm, THIS STORY WILL BE FINISHED! Now, I'm not 100% positive when, but I have absolutely no intention in letting this just hang there like a cancelled TV show you never get closure on. Promise.**

**Amanda: Thank you. Your patience and criticism is appreciated and needed.**

**Harrison: I FINALLY UPDATED! ;o)**

**Most character names and all song titles and lyrics do NOT belong to me; they are the property of Stephenie Meyer, The Raconteurs, The Black Keys, Dan Auerbach and Third Eye Blind respectively.**

**THANK YOU!**

**Broken Boy Soldier**

**Chapter 15**

**EPOV:**

- _what're your plans for saturday_?

I think for a moment before answering Bella's text.

- i got nothing thus far…what's up?

-_ em wants to spend the day with rosalie. the thing is, he's scheduled to work at newton's_.

- okay?

- _he wanted me to cover his shift, but i'm already scheduled. i figured if you were still interested, you could come work for him!_

- um…is that okay? you just bringing someone into work?

- _duh. they love me. they'll be fine with it._

- and if they're not?

- _that's not a factor…trust me._

- if you say so. i'm in.

- _woo! i win! what're you doing?_

- finally putting the finishing touches on my room. you?

- _texting you. perusing more of the black keys._

- FABULOUS! what're you listening to? thoughts?

- _'work me' is pretty hot._

- duh.

- _don't be a bitch._

- sorry. what other ones stick out?

- _'these days' I love! LOVE love._

- you're listening on shuffle, I take it?

- _well yeah…you didn't give me a list, what the heck else was i supposed to do!_

- point taken.

- _now leave me alone, will you? i gots me some music to listen to!_

Smiling, I toss my phone to the side and go back to what I was actually doing, which is tuning my guitar and listening to the Jack White songs I haven't heard yet. I opted not to tell Bella this, because I want to check out the songs on my own.

Thursday went very much like Wednesday did, with the exception of lunch. I woke up, took a shower, brushed my teeth, fixed my hair, put on the ensemble Alice picked out for me, ate breakfast, drove to school, ate lunch, drove home, did homework, ate dinner and unpacked my room. Okay, that rundown isn't exactly accurate. If 'thought about Bella', 'stared at Bella', 'talked to Bella', 'texted Bella', 'walked with Bella' and 'laughed with Bella' were thrown in there, _that_ would be much more accurate.

I'm in trouble.

I'm in trouble because I've only known this girl for four days and I'm ready to call her right now and confess everything to her. I want to beg her not to be too angry with me for lying to her. I want to convince her to break up with her asshole boyfriend and I want to hold her hand and have it actually _mean_ something. I'm in trouble because I know that's not actually going to happen. I've made a promise to Alice and myself. I'm on my best behavior, or at least I'm going to try to be.

As I continue to fiddle with my guitar, I think back on the conversations I had with Bella earlier.

"Did you ever have a girlfriend?" she asked as she was tying my pink apron for me in Home Ec.

The question caught me off guard, so I followed instinct and answered truthfully, "Yes."

I felt her hesitate behind me, "Oh. R-really?"

"Yup. Her name was Tanya," I said as I turned around.

She nodded, "And how did that turn out?"

I cocked my head at her, "How do you _think_ it turned out, dumbass?"

That snapped her out of her quasi-silence. She punched my arm hard, "Well you don't have to be a jerk, jerk! For all I know she broke your heart and is the reason you started batting for the home team."

I laughed at that, "No ma'am. It ended because she was psychotic. She didn't break my heart at all."

Bella look confused, "Um, so, if she hadn't been psychotic, would you have stayed with her longer?"

I thought a moment before responding, "Doubtful. Before she got too crazy, I had started to realize that she was most assuredly not 'the one'."

She nodded, "I guess that make sense. Besides, you were still young, right? Didn't you meet Jasper when you were like fourteen?"

"Correct," I answered and then changed the subject, "That dress is entirely lovely on you, Isabella."

"Awww, thanks!"

She absolutely beamed as she leaned forward to give my arm a squeeze, before finishing her statement, "I got it at this really cool vintage shop Alice took me to."

I scoffed, "Excuse me? I do believe it was I who took you to that shop."

She furrowed her brow as if confused, "Did you? I don't recall that."

I narrowed my gaze at her, "Okay, that's fine. See if I save _you_ the next time Mikey and Jasper have you trapped."

Panic seized her face, "Kidding! Kidding, kidding, kidding. Please, you have to always save me. Promise."

"You have my word," I promised her.

She beamed at me once more, "Fucking A! Okay, let's bake the shit out of these cookies!"

And we did too. We totally baked the shit out of those cookies. A flash of the expression of shear bliss on Bella's face as she tasted the cookie dough causes my stomach to tighten, as well as other parts. I try not to focus on the 'other parts' and choose instead to keep my attention on the music. I make a mental note to review some of these with Bella tomorrow. I'm just about ready to pack it in when there's a knock on my door.

"Yeees?" I say loudly, to prompt whomever it is to enter.

The knob turns and Alice bounces into the room.

"What's doin'?" she asks as she flops down on my bed.

I raise an eyebrow, "Not much. Should something be...'doin''?"

She shrugs, "Not necessarily, I guess. Jasper and I just got back; he's downstairs getting a snack. I figured I'd drop in to say hello!"

"Ah, I see. And what have you crazy kids been up to this evening?"

"Nothing really. We thought we'd have a nice date night and go to the movies, but Angie was there with her little sister. They ended up sitting next to us the entire time," she pouts. "We couldn't even hold hands."

"Sorry Al. That sucks," I offer.

"Eh, it's okay. At least we solidified Jasper 'gayness' a little more. He kept commenting on how 'fuck-hot' Ryan Reynolds is."

I chuckle, "Bella was just talking about him other night!"

"Oh _was_ she?"

"I don't like your tone, Al."

She looks at me all wide-eyed and innocent, "Whatever do you mean, brother-dear?"

"Um, I mean I don't like your fucking tone," I reply a little louder.

"And what tone would that be, Eddie?" she asks, still feigning innocence.

I sigh, "That tone that nearly screams 'Why-are-you-talking-about-Bella-because-you-shouldn't-even-be-thinking-about-her-you-dumb-son-of-a-bitch.'"

Alice chuckles, "Wow, I had no idea I could convey all of that with just my tone. That's pretty fucking impressive."

I say nothing and just look at her, clearly not amused.

She just smiles at me, "Oh calm down, douche-juice. You can talk to and about Bella all you want. I'm not going to give you a hard time about it anymore."

I look at her skeptically, "Really? What's caused this change?"

"What always causes me to change my mind?" she waits like a nanosecond for me to respond, before she answers her own question, "Jasper, of course!"

"Hey, hey! What're you saying about me?"

Alice and I both turn our attention to my doorway to see Jasper standing with a bowl of black raspberries.

Alice smiles, "I was just starting to tell _Eddie_ about the conversation we had earlier, babe."

"Awesome! I'mma go watch some Golden Girls," Japser starts to walk away, but then turns back to her, "You'll come watch with me, right? After you're finished?"

She smiles widely at him, "Bea Arthur, berries and my boyfriend. How could I refuse that?"

"Damn skippy," he says before popping a raspberry in his mouth and heading to his room.

I shake my head, "My lord, you two are so queer."

Alice ignores me and continues to stare in the direction that Jasper went, a goofy smile on her face.

I try to get her back on topic, "So, you were saying?"

No response.

"Al?"

Still no response.

"ALICE!" I practically shout at her.

She jumps in surprise, "Fuck Edward, what?"

"What were you and Jasper discussing earlier? In regards to Bella and me?"

She looks confused for a moment, before my words sink in, "Oh! Yeah! Well…Jasper has convinced me that I shouldn't be so hard on you when it comes to Bella."

I know better than to attempt a response, because as soon as I do…

"I mean, you guys obviously have some sort of chemistry. Who am I to tell you to deny that, right?"

Once again, no use in trying to answer…

"I just think about what I would've done if someone had told me to stay away from Jasper. I never would've done that! Not even if he had a girlfriend. I'm not saying that you feel about Bella how I feel about Jasper, but you know. You like her. And that's okay. I mean, it's kind of a fucked up situation, because you're trying to play gay and all, but still I understand."

Her diatribe ebbs for just a moment, before starts up again…

"I'll admit, I was a little hesitant to admit all of this, but Jasper convinced me that it was the right thing to do. He said he's tried to keep things like this from Rose before, but it never works because she always finds out and then they get into a tiff because he was keeping things from her. I don't want that to happen to us. You're my twin and I want to be honest with you about anything and everything. That's how we should be right? Yes. That's how it should be. That's how it's always been and that's how it'll stay. I just had a momentary lapse in judgment. I think it was this new town. We're going to be here for good and I just didn't want anything interfering. I don't think that's going to happen now though. Everyone is so nice. I know we just met them, but I feel a connection there. Things are going to be so great here!"

I open my mouth to respond, thinking that Alice is finished, when she starts up again…

"Of course, I never would've allowed myself to rationalize things like this if it wasn't for Jasper. He's so perfect and patient. He knows how high-strung I am and instead of reeling me in, he just lets me go; knowing that I'll eventually calm down enough to have some sense talked into me. I don't know what I'd do without him, Edward. I really don't. I mean, oh my god. Can you imagine how out of control I'd be if I had never met him? I'd never be truly happy. Neither would Daddy for that matter. And we probably wouldn't have ended up here, because I doubt Daddy would've retired when he did. We would've just spent our entire high school lives moving from base to base, never making friends. It would've been a nightmare!"

She looks slightly manic and I know it's time to rein her in, "ALICE!"

I can tell she wants to keep talking, but she pauses at the interruption, "What?"

"Breathe," I urge her.

She takes a deep breath and I see the calm wash over her, "Thanks for that."

"Anytime," I chuckle.

There's a slight lull in conversation, before she starts speaking again, "So what was up with James today?"

I shrug, "Beats me. I guess he finally decided to stop being such a fucking cockstain."

She nods, 'Yeah, I suppose so. I don't know how I feel about him."

"I think he's an asshole."

Alice ponders for a moment before responding, "Maybe. I'm not sure yet. Sure he was kind of an ass at dinner the other night, but he was pretty cool at lunch," she pauses before adding, "Eric needs to fucking go though."

I laugh at her, "True. How are things progressing with J and Angela?"

"Slowly. She stole an awful lot of glances at us today. I'm pretty sure I heard her ask J what the plan was for tomorrow night."

"What's tomorrow night?" I ask.

She looks at me as if the answer is obvious, "The first football game of the season, dink."

"How am I supposed to know that?" I counter.

"Well maybe if you would pay attention to someone other than Bella, you would know these things," she smirks.

I open my mouth to plead my side, but I realize she's right, "Point taken."

"Ha! I win!" she shouts triumphantly before hopping off of my bed, "Anyway, we'll talk about the game and stuff tomorrow morning. I'mma go watch some TV with Jasper. G'night!"

"Kay. Night, Al."

The door closes behind her and I once again return to Jack and my guitar. After a few songs, my mind starts to wander back to the events at lunch.

I had been excited to get to the cafeteria today. The morning was going so well, I figured it could only get better. I got a rude fucking awakening when I made it to the lunch table. There, sitting in the spot that I had been occupying for the last three days, was James. And what was worse, Bella actually seemed to be enjoying his company.

Left with no choice, I sat down across from Eric. I gave a quick nod to him and glance down the table to where James was talking.

"...by the time we started back it was nearly three in the afternoon, because when Bella hikes, it's a full day event..."

Bella interrupted him, "I just like to take my time and be cautious."

There were a few snickers and James continued, "We're about an hour out and she decides she needs to pee."

"I didn't just 'decide', when you gotta piss, you gotta piss," she huffed.

He smirked at her and kept talking, "She starts looking all around as if she expects to see a fucking bathroom or something and finally she says 'I don't fucking know where to go!' So I tell her just to pick a tree and hurry the fuck up."

"You're so fucking insensitive," Bella scowled, but I could tell she wasn't really bothered. In fact, she looked rather entertained.

James just winked at her, "She starts walks a little ways from the path and I see her squat down and 'piss' as she so eloquently put it. It took her for-fucking-ever, but she finally stood up and walked back over. Of course, by that time, I had to fucking piss, so I walked over to where she had squatted and I just shook my head."

Alice piped up, "Why? What did she do!"

The others were laughing; clearly they had heard this story a few times.

James held up a finger, clearly milking the spotlight for all it was worth, "'Babe,' I said, 'could you please come here?' She walked back over and was like, 'What the fuck do you want? I thought you were in a hurry?' And I just pointed to the bush she chose to squat in, 'Um, babe, you DO know what they say about 'leaves of three' don't you?'"

Alice gasped, "She didn't! Oh, Bella, you didn't!"

Bella just shut her eyes and nodded, "Oh yes, I most certainly did. I squatted my ass right on top of a fucking poison ivy bush!"

Everyone started laughing. I admit it; even I joined in despite myself.

"Oh that's not even the best part," Bella said dramatically.

"Balls, please allow me," Emmett said.

She smiled at him, "By all means, Emmers."

"Score! So yeah, Balls has a wicked case of poison all over her no-no areas. She managed to keep it to herself for a while, but with the amount calamine she was using, she had to break down and tell our parents. Dad hit the fucking roof!"

Bella laughed and put on a deep voice, "'What exactly were you doing in the woods with that boy?'"

"'You expect me to believe you didn't know you were squatting in poison?'" Seth contributed in the same deep voice Bella used.

"'That's the last time you go 'hiking', young lady,'" Emmett went on, "Holy shit, he was pissed! After that he insisted that Mom have 'the talk' with her..."

Bella shook her head, "Most. Awkward. Conversation. Ever."

"...and he bought her a book of poisonous plants, so she could avoid any future 'mishaps'," Emmett finished.

Alice was doubled over in her seat, "No he did not!"

"Oh, yes he did!" J said, laughing.

Bella smiled and nodded, "Swears! It's at home on my bookshelf. I used to carry it with me, but since James was too scared to take me hiking again, I figured I didn't need it anymore."

James laughed, "Well what did you expect? Months after that, every time I'd come over your father would be conveniently cleaning his gun. That shit's intimidating."

Everyone laughed again and it made me really fucking angry. This was the same guy who was a complete and utter dick the other night at dinner and now everything seems to be forgiven. Bella leaned over and put her head on his shoulder and he kissed the top of her head. I suddenly lost my appetite.

"Hey man, you okay? You look a little green," J said from my right.

I just nodded, "Yeah. I'm good."

Hearing our conversation, Alice leaned forward to talk across him, "You sure you're alright?"

"Yeah, I think that pizza yesterday ruined me for school lunches," I laughed, trying to pay it off.

J laughed then, "Right! It's fucking awesome."

After that, I had tried to eat some more of my lunch, but I was only able to swallow a few more bites before I got up to throw my tray away. Luckily, as I was walking back to the table, the bell rang…thus putting an end to the worst lunch ever.

"Fuck this," I murmur, effectively snapping myself out of my wandering thoughts. I get up and walk over to my iPod dock and immediately search for something other than Jack White to listen to. I decide on Dan Auerbach's 'Mean Monsoon', as it seems oddly fitting for how on edge I feel right now regarding Bella. I put my earbuds in and head to the bathroom to brush my teeth.

"_The summer sun has got me crazy_

_Playing tricks with my poor mind_

_You said you had another man_

_And I said I guess I didn't mind_

_What's he got that I ain't got_

_Besides stability_

_Can he drive all night and never stop_

_Well I guess you'll have to wait and see"_

I'm so focused on the music that I don't realize that something is blocking the path to the bathroom, until I run right into it.

"Oh! Sorry, Emmett!" I apologize.

He just laughs, "This is becoming a habit with us, huh?"

I must have a confused look on my face, before he decides to clarify, "Meeting in the hallway."

"Oh yeah, I suppose so. What's up? You leaving?"

"Nah," he shakes his head, "I was on my way to the kitchen to get Rosie something to drink. Oh hey! Balls texted and told me that you're doing me a solid and working my shift on Saturday. That's really decent of you, man."

"Eh, think nothing of it. Really. I needed to find a job, so this works out perfectly."

"Good deal," he nods. "Well, I better get moving. I don't want Rosie to come looking for me."

I laugh at his eagerness, "Okay man, see ya."

I watch him head down the stairs and I continue to the bathroom. After performing the usual nightly rituals I head back to my room and crash, finally happy that this day is over with.

All too fast the morning comes. I lie in bed until Alice barges through my door and starts picking out clothing for me.

"Edward," she whines, "get out of bed. We only have an hour before we have to leave."

"Fuck, Alice!" I huff at her, "it doesn't take me that fucking long to get ready."

She rolls her eyes at me, "Oh don't be such a baby! Besides, it's Friday, asshole."

"Meaning?" I ask.

"Meaning, it's family breakfast day. Come on, Edward, you know these things. Stop being difficult," she implores.

I know there's no use in denying her, "Fine, Al. I'll be down in a few."

"Yay!" she claps her hands excitedly and flits out of my room.

Begrudgingly, I haul myself out of bed, grab the clothes Alice selected for me and march to the bathroom for a shower. By the time I get downstairs I expect to be the last one to arrive. I'm pleasantly surprised when I see that Rosalie's seat is still empty.

"Morning, everyone," I greet them as I take my seat next to Alice, pausing to kiss Esme on the cheek along the way.

They each offer their salutations as Rosalie walks into the room. She smiles brightly, gives her good mornings and sits down as well.

Once we're all settled for, we waste no time digging in to the food that Esme has so lovingly prepared.

'Friday Family Breakfast' was instituted about a month after Dad and Esme were married. It originally started off as 'Monday Family Breakfast', but after a couple of months we decided that Mondays were just too hectic. Fridays are much more relaxed. We're able to discuss our weekend plans and anything we might've missed during the week.

Dad starts the conversation, "So, how has everyone's first week been?"

"It's been fantastic, Daddy!" Alice answers first, "We've made some new friends and I have such a good feeling about this place already."

He smiles at her, "That's great, Al. How about you, Rose?"

"I agree with Alice, Carlisle. I had my doubts about this town; I'm not going to lie, but I've been pleasantly surprised with the people we've met," Rosalie answered sweetly.

Jasper smirks, "Yeah. One in particular."

Alice giggles and Rosalie rolls her eyes at her twin.

Esme grins lovingly at her daughter, "And where is Emmett this morning, darling? Will he be joining us for breakfast?"

Rosalie gives a little pout, "No. Apparently they have some sort of 'tradition' during football season. He said even though he'd love to pick me up, he can't jinx the team. Whatever that means."

"You'll see him later though, right?" her mother asks.

"Oh yes. He wants us to hang out after the game. I think there's a party or something. OH! And he wants to take me somewhere tomorrow. That's okay right?" Rosalie looks between Esme and my father for conformation.

Dad nods, "Of course, Rose! What will you guys being doing?"

She shrugs and smiles, "I don't know and I seriously don't care. He's fun to hang out with even if we're doing nothing. He was actually supposed to work, but Eddie-boy here was kind enough to work for him."

Suddenly all eyes are on me. They're all staring as if they expect me to say something, but I can't at the moment, considering I just took a huge bite of French toast.

Fuck it. Taking a cue from Bella's handbook, I address them with full mouth, "Whaaa?"

Dad tries to hide a chuckle, "Son? You got a job?"

"Kiiindduh," I answer.

"Where?" Esme asks.

Once I swallow my food, I reply, "Newton's. They sell sporting goods. Bella and Emmett both work there."

They're all still staring at me, so I explain further, "They were going to put in a good word for me, but when Emmett needed someone to cover his Saturday shift, Bella decided to force me into the job."

"Oh, well that was awfully nice of Bella to think of you," I notice Esme's eyes light up a little when she mentions Bella's name.

I roll my eyes, "Esme, we're just friends."

She looks at me innocently, "Mmmhmm, yes. I know."

Alice takes pity on me and changes the subject, "So, are we all going to the game tonight?"

"What time does it start, dear," Esme inquires.

"I think seven, but I'll let you know for sure later," Alice responds.

Emse gives her a wide smile and claps her hands, "Oh I'm so excited! We haven't been to a football game in ages. Not only that, but it'll be our first official family outing in Forks."

Alice starts clapping too, "I know! I'm excited too! This is so great!"

The rest of us ignore their little burst of giddiness and carry on with our breakfast. As we clear away the dishes from the table, we make plans to meet up later for the game. Once we have the details hashed out, my siblings and I head to school.

Rosalie is riding shotgun again and I let her choose the music. She settles on some Third Eye Blind. Good choice.

About half way through 'Semi Charmed Life' I decide to get nosy, "So step-sister, what are you and Emmett really going to be doing tomorrow?"

She turns her head towards me, "I honestly don't know. I wasn't kidding. He said he wants it to be a surprise."

I throw a glance at her quickly, before putting my eyes back on the road, "But you hate surprises."

"I know. I know. Seriously Edward, I don't know what this guy is doing to me. I mean, look at this," she gestures to the plain blue t-shirt she's wearing, "just look at this. I'm wearing a t-shirt. I DON'T WEAR T-SHIRTS! But I am today, because he asked me to. He says he's got a 'surprise' for me. What have I turned into?"

"Rose," Alice twitters from the backseat, "remember when we were in San Diego and Josh whatshisname gave you those beautiful hoop earrings, but you refused to wear them because you felt like he was trying to dictate what you should wear?"

Rosalie turns to look at her, puzzled, "Yeah?"

"Well, you REALLY liked him and you wouldn't wear something to please him," Alice says, wide-eyed.

"Your point, Al?" Rosalie was getting impatient.

"Only that you must like Emmett a whole lot more than Josh, or else you would've handed him his ass on a platter by now," Alice finishes.

Rosalie actually blushes, "Yeah. I like him a lot. And honestly, I'm so excited about whatever he's going to surprise me with this morning."

"Awwww," Jasper finally joins the conversation, "Rosie and Emmett sittin' in a tree. F-U-C-K-I-N-G!"

"Jasper, don't be a prick," Rosalie huffs and she blushes even more, "Besides, we're taking things slow."

There's a moment of stunned silence before Alice asks the question we all want the answer to.

"And what do you mean by 'slow', Rose?"

"Wecannahavenissedyet," Rosalie mumbles so low that none of can decipher what the hell she even said.

"I'm sorry Rosie, I don't speak mumble. What the fuck are you trying to say?" Jasper pushes.

"Fuck Jasper," she sighs, "can't you just let it go?

"Nope! Spill it."

"Ugh! Fine! We. Haven't. Even. Kissed. Yet," she says, enunciating every word.

We all collectively gasp.

"Holy shit!"

"Are you fucking serious?"

"Excusie?"

"You guys are assholes. It's not that big of a deal," Rosalie argues.

"Oh yes it is," Alice spouts, "Rosie, I can't remember you going this long without even kissing a boy before. You mean he's been over nearly every night and you guys haven't done anything?"

She shakes her head, "Nothing. At first I thought that I'd play hard to get and drive him crazy. Normally it works like a charm. I mean, by all rights he should be panting for me, but he's not. I was starting to think he was gay when it finally dawned on me..."

"What? What?" Alice demands impatiently.

"You guys, he's an actual nice guy. Like an honest to goodness nice guy. I thought about taking matters into my own hands and just pouncing on him, but I decided that if you guys can reinvent yourselves, then so can I."

I feel my brow furrow on confusion, "So you're reinventing yourself as a virgin?"

She rolls her eyes at me, "No, I didn't say that, asshat. I'm just saying that as far as our new friends are concerned, I'm Rosalie Hale: Nice Modest Girl, rather than Rosalie Hale: Raging Slut," she chuckles at herself and smiles shyly, "I want to deserve this guy."

"Awww, Rosie," Jasper beams at his twin, "that's so precious."

"Shut it," she snaps at him, but still retains her smile.

We pull into the school lot and I take the spot next to Emmett's truck. Rosalie squeals in delight when she sees him waiting for her and holding a gift bag. I barely have the car stopped before she hops out and rushes to greet him.

Alice, Jasper and I opt to watch the show from the car. After they exchange hellos and he says something that makes her blush, he presents the gift bag to her.

"What do you guys think is in there?" Alice asks us.

"Turtle wax and sparks plugs?" I guess, causing Jasper to snort.

Rosalie digs into the tissue paper at Emmett's insistence. She pulls out what looks to be a piece of clothing.

"What the fuck is that?" Alice sounds horrified.

I cock my head to the side, "I think it's a football jersey."

It is indeed a jersey. As Rosalie holds it up to admire, we see the word 'Swan' printed across the top of the back.

"Oh this doesn't bode well," Jasper worries.

"How do you figure?" I ask.

"Well if she didn't wear those earrings, I highly doubt she's gonna wear that," he says, not taking his eyes off of the scene before us.

Jasper is promptly proven wrong as we see our sister give Emmett a winning smile, before pulling the jersey on over her head, obviously not even caring whether or not it messes up her perfectly coifed hair.

The three of us are left totally slack-jawed with nothing to say.

"Well I'll be damned," Alice whispers, but it's what we're all thinking.

Rosalie takes Emmett's arm to start towards the school, but then pauses to look back towards our car.

"You assholes coming?" she shouts.

We finally snap out of our daze and follow behind them. Emmett's excitement is palpable.

"You guys ready for the game tonight?" he asks over his shoulder.

I laugh, "We are. So are Dad and Esme; they'll be coming too."

He tosses us a smile, "Fantastic. I have a good feeling about this game. It's gonna be awesome."

"Rose, I love that jersey on you," Alice says rather genuinely.

"Sorry, little one. I thought about suggesting that J make one for you, but I've noticed you're pretty particular about what you wear," Emmett says, stopping to gesture to Alice's latest ensemble.

"Oh it's okay, big guy. I appreciate the thought though," she winks at him.

He chuckles, "Yeah? Too bad Balls doesn't share your point of view. She almost didn't wear the jersey I got for her."

"Why's that?" I asked confused.

Emmett looks back with a mischievous glint in his eye, "Oh you'll see."

I think about asking him to explain, but I decide against it. I'd rather be surprised.


	16. It's True That We Love One Another

**A/N: Sorry this is so long coming. I won't waste time with a lengthy note now. A longer note will be at the bottom.**

**It's True That We Love One Another**

BPOV

I throw the jersey at Emmett's head. "I am NOT fucking wearing that."

"Awww! C'mon Balls, why not?" he whines.

"Are you seriously asking me that question, mother fucker?" I screech at him.

He shrugs, "It's tradition. You wear a jersey every Friday."

"Yes, though the past jerseys didn't have 'BALLS' written across the back of them," I fume.

He laughs at me, "Is that what this is about? The fact that it says 'BALLS'? Seriously?"

I take a few deep breaths. After all, it'd be a shame to kill the star quarterback right before the first official game of the season. Once I feel sufficiently calm, I respond to him.

"Look Em, I settled for having 'LIL SWAN' across my back when I was a freshman. And even though having 'No. TWO' last year was a bit degrading, I rocked that shit like a champ. No pun intended."

He snorts a little at the memory and I continue, "Having 'BALLS' on there is where I draw the line, I'm sorry."

"Well that sucks for you, because that's the only one I have for you to wear," Emmett says kind of matter-of-factly.

"Emmeeeeeett!" I gripe and stomp my foot, "How am I even supposed to get away with this anyhow? Won't this be considered 'offensive' and whatnot?"

I think I have have him for a second, but he just smirks at me, "You know, I expected this line of attack and I've already cleared it with coach."

Well shit.

He continues, "It's tradition. You can't break it now. Especially since it's my senior year. Do you really want to ruin this for me?"

I don't even know how this asinine tradition got started. Ever since I was a freshman, he insisted that I wear these horrible jerseys. And ever since he got his license, he insisted on driving me to school every Friday. He's repeatedly claimed that every time I didn't do either one of those things, the team would lose. And by 'every time' he means 'four times'. Unfortunately, he's hit my Achilles heel. As much as I don't want to wear that abomination, I don't want to ruin his senior year. He is my big brother after all.

He must sense my resolve waiver because he starts clapping his hands like a little girl and he tosses the jersey back at me.

I groan, "Fine asshole, I'll fucking wear it! Just so you know though, I am not happy about this."

"Not happy about what?" I hear Seth say as he walk into my room.

Instead of answering him, I just turn the jersey around so he can see the back of the offending garment. As expected, he immediately doubles over in laughter.

"Yeah, yeah. Ha, ha. It's so funny, isn't it?" I deadpan, then ask, "What about you, jerk? What did he put on the back of yours?"

Seth turns around so I can see the back of his jersey, which simply reads 'The Kid'.

My mouth drops open, "How is that fucking fair?" I huff, "I get 'BALLS' and he only gets 'The Kid'?"

Emmett only shrugs, "Eh... that's what we call him, Balls. Deal with it."

With that he strolls out of my room and goes downstairs, leaving Seth and me behind.

"Ugh, he's so fucking insufferable," I complain.

Seth laughs, "Yeah, pretty much, but we're stuck with him. At least he made sure you had the number three on there. Come on Bells, mom left breakfast downstairs."

He leaves me with a smile and I'm left on my own to prepare for the day.

First things first, I pull the jersey over my head. I then go to my closet and debate on which shoes I should wear until I find my blue Chucks, which match my shirt. Right... one problem solved, on to my hair. Afraid to break from 'tradition', I pull my locks up into a simple ponytail. Sure, it'll give everyone a better view of the 'BALLS', but it'll also keep my hair out of my face for what will obviously be a long fucking day. Next stop... makeup. I normally hate wearing makeup, but not on game days. It gives me an excuse to wear glitter and let's be honest... what girl doesn't like glitter? I apply a liberal amount of yellowish-gold glitter on my eyelids and spread it up to just under my eyebrows. That only leaves the piece de resistance... three little blue stars under my right eye.

I step back to look over the finished product. The makeup, combined with my sparkly, blue fingernails, makes me look like a fucking vision of school spirit. Emmett will be so pleased.

Satisfied with my appearance, I grab my bag and head to the kitchen. Hopefully those bastards have left me with more than a scrap to eat. I'm fucking hungry. Fortunately for me, and for them, there's still bacon and eggs when I get to the table. Fucking score! I eat my breakfast, ignoring the conversation my brothers are having. Seriously, there's only so many times one can hear about someone getting 'sacked' and how far whoever threw a fucking football.

I opt instead to wonder what's gotten into James lately. One second he's a dick, he next he's playful and attentive. Then he seems to neglect our relationship, but just yesterday he sat next to me at lunch and played the perfect boyfriend. The boy's got more personalities than Toni Collette and it's starting to really fucking confuse me.

And then there's Edward. He seemed kind of upset yesterday when he saw that the spot next to me at the lunch table was taken. Quite frankly, it upset me. I had expected James to go eat lunch with Tyler again, but he was waiting for in the lunch line. He even bought my food! Far be it for me to turn down a free lunch. Still though, I was starting to get used to our lunch crew, sans James. That's pretty fucked up of me, considering he's my boyfriend.

Wait a tic.

Boyfriend.

Oh my fuckity.

_That's_ why Edward looked upset yesterday. Because he couldn't sit next to _Jasper._ HIS boyfriend. Not because he couldn't sit next to me. Sweet lord, I'm a dumbass. What the hell is wrong with me? I groan into my juice glass, which results in Emmett and Seth throwing confused glances at me.

"What?" I ask defensively.

Emmett raises an eyebrow, "You alright, Balls?"

I exhale loudly for drama's sake, "I'm fine, Emmers."

"You sure?" he asks, unconvinced.

I change the subject, "Are you guys ready to go yet?"

Not waiting for their answer, I push myself back from the table and walk my dirty dishes to the sink, before grabbing my bag and heading to the front door. I hear them do the same and in a few moments we're all walking out of the house.

"Balls, you got your pod? I forgot mine," Emmett asks as we head to his truck.

"Yup," is my one-word answer.

He turns to me, "You have the song, right?"

It takes me only a second to realize what the fuck he's taking about.

"Emmers no. Please. Not today," I practically beg.

He doesn't say anything, instead he opts to pout and stare at me with what he calls his 'puppy-dog eyes'.

Seth looks between the two of us, "What's going on?"

Neither one of us answer, we just keep looking at one another, both silently pleading for the other to give in.

"Bella," Emmett says softly, still giving me 'the eyes', "it's tradition."

"Oh fuck you!" I shout, throwing in my proverbial towel for the second time this morning.

He just smiles and proceeds to unlock his truck for us. Set opens the passenger side door and steps to the side, so I can slide into the cab.

I frown at him, "Seriously, kid? You're going to make me ride bitch?"

He shrugs, "Better you than me."

Knowing I'm fighting yet another losing battle, I keep my trap shut and climb inside, sliding next to Emmett. He hands me his USB cord and I plug my iPod in and start searching for the aforementioned song.

Seth gets in beside me and shuts the door, "Are you guys ready to tell me what the hell you're bickering about now?"

I let out a defeated sigh before answering him, "You see, little brother, our Emmers here is so very superstitious that not only does he think that me wearing this stupid fucking jersey and driving me to school is integral to the team winning the game, but he also thinks it's necessary for us to sing along to the same damn song, every fucking Friday."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" he asks, staring past me to look at Emmett.

"Dude, you stick with what works. This fucking works," Emmett says with the utmost sincerity.

Seth's not willing to let it go, "How do you even know that this works?"

"Look, all I know is that we sang together one week and we won the fucking game. The next week, we didn't and we lost by more than twenty points," Emmett pauses for effect, before continuing, "The week after we happened to sing again and I ran for over sixty yards and scored the winning touchdown."

"Well shit," Seth replies, "Bells, you better find that song."

"I found it already you crazy jock assholes," I sigh and wait for the truck to start before pressing play. As soon as I do and Seth hears the strumming guitar, he chuckles at our song choice. He doesn't have the opportunity to comment though, because Emmett begins singing.

"_Lazy yellow moon coming up tonight, shinin' through the trees_

_Crickets are singin' and lightenin' bugs are floatin' on the breeze_

_Baby get ready_"

Seth is now laughing hysterically at our brother, but Emmett pays him no mind. He just nudges my arm, to prompt me to sing the next verse.

"_Across the field where the creek turns back by the ole stump road_

_I'm gonna take you to a special place that nobody knows_

_Baby get ready... oooooooooooooooooooooooooo_"

Luckily, by the time I got to the 'ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo' part, Seth catches on and starts to sing with us. It's not that I don't like the song. I personally feel that 'Fishin' in the Dark' is a classic. Is it appropriate for a brother and sister to sing together? Probably not, but at least it's not fucking 'Afternoon Delight'. And really, I can't really blame Emmett 100% for this one. When we first sang it, we were just being silly. And even when the team lost so badly the next week, neither one of us thought anything about it. The following Friday, in an effort to cheer him up and calm his nerves on the way to school, I made him sing it with me again. He played his best game of the season that night, thus the tradition was born. My reticence to sing simply stems from being a grumpy bitch in the morning. I know this for certain, because by the time the final chorus comes around, I'm singing even louder than my brothers and laughing along with them at the sheer ridiculousness of it all.

We arrive at school, greeted with the fanfair that normally surrounds Emmett on Fridays. I'm able to slip by unnoticed. It's not like they want me anyway, they're only concerned about the star quarterback and his possible predecessor. It's easy enough to spot Angela in the crowd. After all, she's the only girl lugging around a huge fucking camera.

"Hey girl hey," I shout, coming up behind her.

She turns and flashes a smile at me, "Oh heeeeey!"

"Um, what's that you're wearing today, Miss Weber?" I ask, motioning to the jersey she's wearing.

"It's improvisation. I figured Eric and Alice might have a problem with me wearing one of J's old jerseys, so I got a new one," she spins around, modeling her new jersey with 'WEBER' on the back, however the number matches J's.

I raise an eyebrow, "And you didn't think they would mind you using his number?"

She just widens her eyes at me, feigning innocence, "Tradition, Bella."

I laugh at her and start to say something, when I'm abruptly cut off by a loud screeching noise, otherwise known as Mikey.

"HEY LADIES!"

We both turn to greet him, not at all disappointed by his Friday apparel.

He's wearing a white t-shirt, a blue cardigan with yellow-gold trim, skinny jeans and blue and gold Vans that he's painted himself. At first glance, it's rather tame, but when you take note of the inordinate amount of sequins on the cuffs of his cardigan and the huge sparkly '1' on the back, you realize just how 'Mikey' he really looks. Not to mention he's sporting the same yellowish-gold glitter around his eyes that Angela and I are.

"Well don't you look adorable today, Miss Newton," I compliment him.

He does a little twirl for me, "Why thank you, Isabella. I do try."

"And you succeed by leaps and bounds," I reply.

Mikey smiles at me and then raises his eyebrows as if in question.

I furrow my brow at him, "What?"

"Um, aren't you gonna show us, Isabella?" he asks.

"Show you what?" I counter.

He and Angela cock their heads to the side, just waiting.

"Fuck you both," I roll my eyes at them and turn around so they an get a good look at the back of my jersey.

Behind me I hear Angela snort and Mikey whines, "I want one!"

"Of course you do," I laugh at him, "you're more than welcome to have this one, if you like."

He seems to think about it for a moment before responding, "Nah, I think it suits you better."

"Gee thanks," I deadpan, causing Angela to snort again.

We make small talk for another few minutes, then Mikey and I head inside, leaving Angela to take pictures of the mindless sheep worshipping the jocks.

"What do you think Jasper will wear today?" Mikey asks on the way to my locker.

I shrug, "Beats the shit out of me."

"Well, what about Alice?"

Once again, I shrug, "I dunno."

"Edward?"

"Fuck, Mikey. I have no clue," I huff.

He groans at me, "You are SO not fun!"

I throw a little bone of information to placate him, "So, Edward's coming to work with me tomorrow."

He stops walking, "Excusie?"

"Edward is coming to work with me tomorrow," I repeat louder, just to be obnoxious and then add, "He's covering for Emmett."

"Why am I just NOW hearing about this?" he screeches.

I wince a little at his decibel level before answering, "Um, because it was just decided last night."

This seems to calm him a little and we resume walking to my locker. It only takes a moments for me stash my stuff before we head to Home Ec.

"So..." Mikey starts, "...what's the word on J and Alice?"

I smirk at him, "Gosh, you're such a little gossip-slut."

"Isabella, you know that I need to know everything or my head will explode. It's just one of the many challenges of being me," he sighs.

"Sure, sure," I chuckle.

"What do you know?" he persists.

"Pretty much the same things you know. I know she's sweet and that J likes her and wants to get to know her better."

It's not a lie. In fact that's all 100% true. However, I know that's not what Mikey really wants to hear. He doesn't want to hear about J and Alice starting a relationship. He's always had this vision. It consists of J and Angela living happily ever after with 2.5 kids, in a house surrounded by a white picket fence and a Bichon-Freise running around the front yard. I'm not gonna lie, I have the same vision. Only it doesn't include 2.5 kids and a faggy Bichon-Freise, it includes 5.0 kids and a chocolate lab.

I notice that he's pouting, "What's wrong, Michael?"

"Nothing."

I stop walking and turn to him, "Come on… talk to me, Goose. What's going on in that rainbow-filled noggin of yours?"

He sighs, "It's nothing. Really. You know I like that little Alice, I just don't think she's right for our J."

Bless his heart. I hook my arm through his as we continue walking, "Do we really know her well enough to determine something like that, precious? Besides, it's not like J's perfect."

Mikey sighs, "Very true. If he were, then he wouldn't have pussy-footed around so much and he would've asked Angela out, before loser Eric had the chance to infiltrate our lives!"

I snort, "Did you honestly just say 'pussy-footed'?"

"I certainly did, because that's what it was. It was pussy-footin'!"

"Oh my god, you have to stop," I say, unable to stop my giggles.

He shoots me an innocent look, "What?"

I narrow my eyes at him, still laughing, "You know what, asshole."

"Isabella, I'm just saying pussy-footin'."

By now, I've stopped walking. I'm doubled over in laughter and crossing my legs in an attempt not to pee my pants, "I'm begging you, Michael. Please stop. I'm going to pee myself."

"Honestly! Grow up, Isabella," he continues walking without me.

I swear, I normally don't have this reaction when it comes to a simple expression like 'pussy-footin''. Hell, I've used it myself numerous times without batting an eyelash. I think I was just caught off guard by my gay best friend saying it. He doesn't even like the pussy, so I didn't expect him to utter the word repeatedly like that. Not to mention the way he was saying it. Really... he tells me to grow up, but he was fully aware of what he was doing. He's probably storing this in his mental bank to use against me later. Fucking bitch.

After I've composed myself, I continue on to Home Ec. When I enter the room, I see Mikey already at our station, attempting to tie his flowered apron behind his back.

I sit my bag on the table, "Want some help with that, sugar?"

"Yes, please. That is, if you can do it without laughing at me," he says.

Ignoring him, I place a quick kiss on his cheek before moving to tie his apron. As I'm perfecting the bow for him, J and Alice walk through the door.

"Be nice," I murmur in Mikey's ear, before they get to our work station.

"Well hey there, friends! Everyone ready for the big game? I know I sure am," Mikey practically yells at them.

J flashes a quick look of confusion due to the high pitch of Mikey's inquiry, but he answers just the same, "Heck yeah! At least I am, not sure about Al here."

Alice, or Al as she's apparently being called now, smiles brilliantly at him and then look at me with a smirk, "I'm actually more ready to check out this jersey I've heard so much about."

"Mother fucker," I groan, but turn without any further argument. They just would've kept on until I relented.

There's a few moments of silence before J's rich laughter fills the room, followed by Alice's bell-like giggles and a deep, velvety chuckle I wasn't expecting. At least, not at that moment.

"Very nice, Bella," Edward says as I turn back around towards them.

I shrug trying to make light of it and willing myself not to blush, "Eh, you know. It's just a new thing I'm trying out."

"And here I thought that Rose was suffering in just a 'Swan' jersey," Alice chimes.

"Seriously? That asshole had a plain 'Swan' jersey and he didn't offer it up? The fuck! I'm the good luck charm, dammit! You'd think he'd have more respect for me," I gripe.

J steps forward, putting an arm around my shoulder, "Come on, Bells. Part of the tradition is the embarrassment… Deal with it."

"Sure sure," I reply, ducking out from under his arm and going in search of my own apron. Edward follows me to get his as well.

"You know, it's not that bad," he attempts.

I throw a glare at him, "Yes, the fuck, it is!"

He gives me a wide smile, "Hey, I was just trying to make you feel better, friend."

"I know you were. Honestly, I should be used to this shit by now. Unfortunately, my brother likes to find new and inventive ways to humiliate me. I hate to know what he's got planned next."

"It can't really get worse can it?" he asks.

I quickly my finger over his lips, "Shhhhh... Don't say things like that out loud. It could aways get worse."

Edward smiles at me again, causing his lips to move a bit under my finger, but he doesn't step back to get away, "Bella, I hope to hell that finger is clean."

"Don't be gross, jerk," I pull my hand away, albeit reluctantly, because I have to admit that I liked the feel of his lips. They were really soft... and warm... and moving on...

"Tie my apron for me."

I don't wait for an answer, I just present him with my back and wait for him to tie me up. Heh heh heh... _Tie me up_. I'm pretty sure I'd totally let Edward tie me up. Well, not by my neck or anything, because that would be fucking creepy. What might have been stimulating for David Carradine is certainly not this girl's cup o' tea. Still though, a few silk scarves never hurt anyone. Maybe some fuzzy handcuffs. Ew... no... not handcuffs, because cops use handcuffs and my dad is a cop. The last thing I want to think about whilst thinking about Edward tying me up, is Papa Swan. Still though, the thought is there now. Come on, Bella... think of something other than your dad and his handcuffs.

This is about the time when I feel hands on my shoulders squeezing... no massaging... ever so softly. It feels nice. So nice, that it totally obliterates any thoughts of my father and his handcuffs. I don't know why, but it takes me a moment to comprehend exactly who the hands belong to. Once I do, it takes all my might not to moan and/or lean back into said hands. It takes even more might to actually focus on what the owner of the magic fingers is saying to me.

"Bella... you still with me?" Edward whispers way to close to my ear. I take a good ten seconds to get my thoughts in order, before I turn and answer him.

"Yeppers. Where else would I be? You need some help with your apron now?"

His smile is dazzling, "Yeah, that'd be great."

He turns for me to tie his strings and my thoughts are automatically in the gutter again. If I thought Edward tying me up would be fun, the thought of me tying Edward up is even more so. I wonder if he and Jasper were into that kind of thing. Yeah... on second thought, that's not really something I want to think of. Well maybe... okay no... definitely not.

I shake my head a little to clear the thought when Mrs. Hoyt walks into the class and advises us that we're going to be making some Rice Krispie treats to be sold for the pep rally later and the game tonight. Not the most challenging of assignments, but it's enough to keep us on task for the rest of the period. I almost don't have time to think about how cute Edward looks with melted marshmallow on his nose and cheek. Almost.

Before we know it the bell is ringing and we're all going our separate ways to second period. The second I split away from them, I start to take notice of the snickers breaking out all around me. It takes a good three seconds before I realize the cause of them. Mother fucker. I promptly text said 'cause'.

- i. hate. you.

- _whatd i do?_

- um... wow... let me think... oh yeah... YOU MADE ME WHERE THIS JERSEY!

- _chill out._

- fuck you.

"Hey babe," James says from my left.

"What up?" I reply, looking over at him.

His face contorts into a slight grimace, "What the hell are you wearing?"

"Ugh... I know. It's so stupid, but you know how Em is with the whole jersey thing."

He looks confused for a second, as if I'm crazy, "I wasn't referring to the jersey, I was talking about your makeup."

At this, I'm slightly taken aback. I mean, I know that makeup isn't really my thing, but this is all just for fun. I saw a girl with makeup kinda like this on the cover of Seventeen a few months back. I thought it was pretty.

"And what the fuck is wrong with my makeup?"

"Here we go," he muttered under his breath, but still loud enough for me to hear him, "It was just a question, Bella."

"It was a rude, fucking question," then I repeat his words back to him, "'What the hell are you wearing?' Your tone was seriously lacking, dick."

He tilts his head to the side in a sign that clearly says 'give me a break', "Come on, you know I didn't mean it in a rude way."

"Well then maybe the next time you ask me a question like that, you might want to work on your tone and overall facial expression. Besides, it's not like I've never worn makeup on game days, before. What the hell is your deal lately?"

And what does the mother do? He rolls his fucking eyes at me.

"Goodbye, James."

I leave him standing by himself in the hallway. Seriously, I had neither the time or the patience to deal with him at the moment. Fuck him and his stupid fucking opinion.

I need feedback that actually matters. I immediately shoot off a text to Mikey.

- my makeup is okay, isn't it?

I'm about five minutes into Spanish when his response comes in.

- _well duh. u look adorable. i wouldve told u otherwise._

Well, the boy has a point. He's never been one to hold back before.

- thank you, precious.

- _np. besides. ang and i r wearing the same thing._

- true.

- _whyd u ask?_

- guess.

- _fucking james._

- 'fucking james' indeed.

Actually, now that I think about it, he reacted this way the last time I wore makeup. He went on a slight rant about how girls only wear makeup to get boyfriends and that I had him, so therefore I shouldn't need it. His logic was ridiculous and I had told him so. If memory serves we broke up for all of a half hour before he admitted to being a dick. Ahh, the drama of high school.

I glance at my phone and notice the lovely red light blinking. I expect another text from Mikey, but I'm pleasantly please to see it's from Edward.

- _by the way, your makeup looks really pretty today._

I can't stop the wide grin from spreading across my face. Take that, James.

**So yeah… that's it. I'm sure it wasn't worth as long as the wait was. This is tantamount to waiting 80+ minutes for a table at the outback, only to have your dinner come out overcooked and incorrect. Nothing is more frustrating. On the bright side, at least you didn't have to actually pay for the story. You'd still have to pay at the outback. HA!**

**Life totally got in the way of this chapter. There was unemployment, job searching, lack of sleep and various other issues involved, but I suppose that's neither here nor there. Good news… I have a firm outline for the next few chapters. Bad news… I still have to actually type up those chapters. *groan* Still though… an outline is more than I had in the past, so that's encouraging.**

**And I should've added this before, but better late than never: All characters, song titles and lyrics do not belong to me, they are the property of Stephenie Meyer, The White Stripes and the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band respectively.**

**Until next time… which I hope isn't too terribly long.**


	17. Sister Do You Know My Name?

Fact - This chapter has been completed for weeks.

Another fact - The only thing holding up the posting was my lack of author's note.

One more fact - I obviously suck.

All characters and song titles do not belong to me, they are the property of Stephenie Meyer and The White Stripes, respectively.

Chapter 17

***Sister Do You Know My Name?***

EPov

- by the way, your makeup looks really pretty today.

I felt better immediately after I sent that text. I had wanted to tell her earlier, but I didn't really want an audience for it, so I held back.

- _thanks. :) i actually just texted mikey to ask if it was okay._

- why wouldn't it be okay?

_- ugh. james. he looked at me as if i were a mutant._

- well what does he know?

_- not much, i suppose. lol._

"Edward, who are you texting?" Alice whispers from the seat behind me.

I barely give her a glance, "None of your business, nosey."

She huffs, but drops the subject. I end up putting my phone away. I don't think I'll have another opportunity to text anyway, since Mrs. French is dedicated to actually teaching us the wonders of the English language. Whatever.

After English comes algebra... after algebra comes Spanish. It's all fairly basic. The only difference today is that everyone seems pretty keyed up about the game tonight. Apparently it's a big deal. According to J, for the past five years the opening game has pretty much dictated how the rest of the season would go. He seems fairly confident that if tonight's game is won the state championship is in the bag. His thought process entertains me. I remember the feeling I used to get before a big game. I miss it. Still though, I asked for this... there's no sense letting it get to me too much.

The bell rings for lunch and before I know it we're all sitting at our regular table. Today is different though- because all of the guys, with the exception of Mikey, Jasper, and myself, aren't with us.

"So why aren't they sitting with us again?" Alice inquires.

Bella rolls her eyes, "It's 'tradition.' The players all sit together on game day."

"Have we ironed out details for tonight?" Alice again.

Angela is the first to speak up, "Well, I have to take pictures at the game, so I won't be able to meet up beforehand; I will be with you guys at the pep rally though. Felix said he'd be on camera duty for me."

"Well that sucks about the game, but awesome about the pep rally," Bella smiles, "I can't remember the last time you actually got to sit with me and make fun of everyone."

"I know, right?" Angela laughs, "I can't wait."

"So when is this pep rally?" I ask.

"Right after fifth period," Mikey answers.

Rosalie looks to him, "And what exactly does it entail?"

He shrugs, "Eh, just your basic stuff. Cheers, a choreographed dance, maybe a shaky pyramid and lots of speeches."

She chuckles, "Well that sounds like a hoot."

"It actually is," Bella insists, "it's a hoot poking fun at the stupid cheerleaders and wondering what inappropriate comments the coaches are going to make."

I turn to her, "Do they have these pep rallies every Friday?"

She shakes her head, "Nah... only for the big games. Opening game, Homecoming, big rival schools, and of course playoffs."

I nod, "Makes sense."

She starts to say something more, but Alice steals her attention, "So Bella, what are you doing before the game?"

"Dinner with Papa and Mama Swan at the diner. The usual," she says.

Alice's eyes light up, "Oh my gosh, I have the best idea ever!"

I groan, "Oh shit."

She narrows her eyes at me and continues, "We should all meet up there and have dinner together! It'll give Daddy and Chief Swan a chance to bond."

Bella snorts, "Ha. Yeah. Dad's all about the male-bonding."

"I know I am," Jasper finally decides to jump into the conversation, making Bella laugh outright.

"I just bet you are, Miss Jazzy. Really though, Alice, I think it's a good idea."

Alice beams and immediately starts contemplating what outfit she's going to be wearing to the game. This causes a great debate once the rest of the girls say that they plan on just wearing the jerseys they already have on; even Rosalie, which shocks the shit out of all of us. She's got it so bad for Emmett it's not even funny. While the rest of the table is distracted, I ask Bella about tomorrow.

"So, what time do we have to leave tomorrow morning?"

She thinks a moment before answering, "Um... the store opens at 9:30 on Saturday, so to be safe, we should leave at like eight... fifteen... ish."

I chuckle, "Okay, I'll be there."

"There where?" she asks confused, "The store? You just want to meet me there?"

"No, silly. Your house. I'll be there to pick you up at eight. Fifteen. Ish."

Her smile is beautiful, "Oh. Okay. Great!"

Apparently our conversation didn't go unnoticed. At least not by Jasper, "So my Eddie, what am I supposed to do without you tomorrow?"

"I dunno, precious, but I'm sure you'll think of something," I answer.

He looks to Alice and Rosalie, "Well ladies? What's the plan?"

"I've got plans tomorrow with Emmett, remember?" his twin says.

"Well shit," is his response, "Mary Alice?"

Before she can even address the questions Mikey lets out an excited squeal.

"O-M-G. Best idea EVER!" he pauses for dramatic effect, "DANCE PARTY!"

The reactions around the table vary.

Jasper looks slightly shell-shocked. He clearly wasn't prepared for something of this magnitude.

Rosalie is all wide-eyed and fighting a snicker.

Alice has a look of sheer excitement on her face at the prospect of a dance party.

Bella and Angela are giggling.

And me? Well I'm just thanking my lucky stars that I didn't get an invitation to said party.

Alice starts clapping her hands, "I love this idea," she sing-songs.

"Yay!" Mikey starts clapping his hands too and then raises his eyebrows to Jasper in silent question.

Jasper still seems to be at a loss for words, so I decide to answer for him.

"He'd love to!"

Yeah, yeah... I know it was a bitch move on my part, but the expression on Jasper's face was totally worth it. No doubt he'll want to kick my ass for this later. Luckily I don't have to deal with the wrath now, as Mikey and Alice have enlisted his help on making a playlist for tomorrow. I'm almost sorry I'm going to miss it.

"I've been to one of Mikey's dance parties before," Bella starts, "there was lots of dancing, if you can believe it."

I feign shock, "Shut the front door, for real?"

Rosalie plays in too, "You can't be serious!"

"My hand to God, she speaks the truth," Angela says, lifting her hand up to prove her point.

We all trade looks of amazement with one another for a few moments before erupting into laughter.

"So, what do you and my idiot brother have planned tomorrow, Rosalie?" Bella asks once we've calmed down.

Try as she might, Rosalie can't stop the smile that spreads across her face at the mention of Emmett "I honestly don't know. He just asked if we could spend the day together, there were no specifics."

Bella looks slightly impressed, "Wow, I never knew Emmers to be so cryptic."

I smirk at her, "You call him 'Emmers'?"

She looks at me, "Yeah, so? He calls me 'Balls', it's only fair."

I just nod, "Well I can't really argue with that logic."

"No doi," she replies and then proceeds to focus on her lunch.

The rest of us start to do the same and it was a good idea, because the lunch bell rings before I know it. Bella and I make our way to bio, after agreeing to meet everyone else before the pep rally. As we're taking our seats at the lab table, I ask the question I've been holding in.

"What really is the deal with the jersey?"

She gives a slight chuckle before answering, "It's just Emmett and his stupid 'traditions.' Apparently he plays better when I'm being humiliated."

"That doesn't seem very fair to you," I offer sincerely.

"Eh, he's my brother. And I guess I love him, so..." she trails off.

Her adoration for her brother makes me smile, "You're a nice girl, Isabella Swan."

She rolls her eyes at me, "Yeah yeah... don't tell anyone."

Just like Mrs. French, Mr. Banner seems to be dedicated to actually teaching us today, so Bella and I can focus on little more than our tasks at hand. When the bell finally rings to signal the end of fifth period, she grabs my hand and practically drags me out of the classroom and down the hall.

"The hell, Bella! Where's the fire?" I ask, trying to keep up.

She speaks without turning, or slowing down, "Shut it, asshole. We need to get to the gym before all the prime spots are taken!"

As requested, I 'shut it' and follow after her obediently. On the way Mikey and Jasper join us. And it's not too long before Alice, Rose and Angela are rounding out our little walking convoy. We near the gym and I now see why she was in such a hurry.

Students are literally packed in the hallway like sardines, attempting to get into the gym all at once.

"Ugh. Mother fucker!" Bella huffs. She seems to think for a few seconds before grabbing my hand and addresses our group, "Come on, guys. Follow me and move fucking quickly."

She starts to walk towards the students, but before she gets us stuck in the crowd, she cuts to the left and into the boys' locker room.

Alice notices where we're headed and hesitates a bit, "Um... there aren't going to be any naked boys in here are there?"

Mikey snorts, "With any luck, there will be."

"Now that's what I'm talkin' about," Jasper smirks.

Bella just ignores them and keeps walking... clearly an old hand at this. She walks us through the locker room, past the showers and up the back stairs... right into the gym, which is surprisingly not yet full.

I hear a sigh of relief come from Bella, "He is such a well-trained baby brother."

Looking in the same direction she's facing, I see Seth steadfastly shooing people away from what one would consider 'prime real estate' for a pep rally.

"Kid, you've once again proved you're good for something," Bella says to her brother as she gives him a big hug.

Seth tries to play off the compliment, but we can see his cheeks pink up a little. He makes his exit, saying he's got to join up with the rest of the team. We all take a seat, the girls sitting in front of us guys. As we watch the rest of the students file in, Bella, Angela, and Mikey offer up gossip on random people.

"See her?" Mikey whispers loudly, "she totally stripped down to nothing during amateur night down at 'The Eager Beaver'."

Alice's eyes go wide, "You do NOT have a club around here called 'The Eager Beaver'."

"Oh fuck yes we do, my spritely friend," Bella answers smugly, as though she's very proud of this establishment.

Rosalie snickers, "Well this town is just full of surprises."

"That guy there is rumored to have been kicked out of his last three schools before being sent here," Angela chips in, referring to a boy dressed in head to toe black.

"He sits next to me in 'Civil War', we had a decent conversation about Tecumseh Sherman. He knows his stuff," Jasper offers.

"You mean you're actually learning something in Civil War, Jazz?" I ask with a raised eyebrow.

He smirks at me, "Oh I learn all sorts of things on a daily basis, Eddie."

The cheerleaders make their entrance, earning a few catcalls and an eye roll from Bella.

"And of course, we have 'the whore' Jess," Bella says.

"Why is she a whore?" Jasper and Rosalie ask at the same time.

Bella smiles at the twin synchronicity, "Oh nothing really. She just broke Emmett's heart a little."

Rosalie narrows her eyes at the girl in question, "Yes... definitely a whore."

This makes Bella's smile turn into a full-blown grin, "Oh I knew I liked you for a reason."

"Um... keep in mind that said heartbreak happened ages ago," Mikey chirps.

"So?" Bella and Rosalie snap back in tandem.

The rest of us laugh at their hostility, while the cheerleaders start they're dance routine. I'm far from an expert, but I don't find them to be that bad. Their pyramid is executing damn near perfectly. Okay, so I might have seen 'Bring It On' more than a few times, so sue me. They do another routine and get the crowd involved in a few cheers, before the principal appears on stage.

He gives the standard 'school spirit' speech that sounds a lot like the one from the assembly earlier in the week. The coach is up next. He actually changes his speech a little bit. Letting us all know how hard the team has been working and how proud he is to coach such 'stand-up guys'. There was even an added bit about how hard they're going to 'pound' tonight's competition, earning him a fair amount of snickers from the student body and some of the teachers. At last the players are called to the stage.

Everyone claps pretty equally for most of the team; however, like during the assembly, they seem to save their loudest cheers for the last few guys.

"James Myers..."

Despite the fact that he's a dick, I clap for him. So does Bella, of course... he is her boyfriend and all.

"Jacob Black..."

Again with the claps, but in addition we add some hoots and hollers for good measure. I find it entertaining that Angela is the one cheering the loudest for him.

"And last, but not least... starting quarterback... EMMETT SWAN!"

The whole gym goes crazy, proving again just how loved this guy is. Our group cheers especially loud, though we're nearly drowned out by Rosalie. She's got it bad.

After Emmett gives a bow and does the whole 'wave to the crowd' thing, he steps back to stand with the rest of the team. He doesn't get too far before a chant starts in the crowd...

"Speech... speech... speech... speech..."

"Oh Jesus..." Bella groans.

"Speech... speech... speech... speech..."

I lean down to ask her, "What's so bad about a speech?"

She leans back to me, "Trust me... this will end badly."

By this time Emmett has stepped up to mic, dimples in full effect, clearly intent on giving everyone what they're asking for.

"You guys really are the best. No doubt. I can't really take all the credit for the fantasticness that's about to be unleashed tonight. The credit also goes to all of these outstanding gentlemen that are standing behind me, so give them some love too..."

His fans have no problem doing what is asked of them and they break out into applause for the entire team.

"And, of course, we wouldn't be half the team we are without the superb coaching from Coach Barshinger. Please... give the man what he deserves..."

We once again do his bidding, applauding the coach for all of his hard work. I swear, the man looks to be on the verge of tears, he's so moved.

"While we're at it, give it up for our esteemed principal and the rest of the faculty..."

Everyone begins cheering and whistling. Around the gym, teachers give little bows to show their appreciation. Applause starts to die down and most of us assume that Em's speech is over... how wrong we are.

"Lastly, I'd like to thank someone very special," he smirks.

"Uh oh... I know that smirk," Mikey chuckles.

"As most of you know, we football players have a lot of traditions. Some serious, some silly, some kind of sentimental..."

"Oh dear," Angela adds.

"I'm not sure if you guys are aware of this, but my sister is a saint..."

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no..." Bella starts to chant.

He looks over the crowd, "Where ya at, Balls?"

Bella attempts to slump down a little, but her effort is quickly thwarted as Mikey starts waving his hands, shouting, "Here! Here! She's right here!"

Everyone looks our way and Emmett smiles, dimples in full effect, "Ahh... there she is! Now, I think it needs to be said that Bella has truly been one of my biggest supporters, for as long as I can remember."

"Please... someone stop him," Bella whimpers.

"She puts up with my 'football talk'. She sings with me. She wears the personalized jerseys I have made for her without even the slightest argument. She holds ridiculous grudges on my behalf. And just this past Monday morning, she was good enough to let me have the last package of Pop Tarts."

There's a collective 'awwww' from the crowd, but Bella seems a bit panicked as she shakes her head and whispers, "Stop now. Please stop now."

"So I'd like for you all to do me a huge favor. I'd like you to get on your feet and applaud the girl who I feel is singlehandedly responsible for my continued success on, and off, the football field."

His grin is now ridiculously huge as he starts clapping and looking in Bella's direction. Everyone starts to follow his lead and gets up to clap for Bella as well.

Emmett is practically screaming now, so he can be heard over the applause, "Balls, you're the best and I seriously don't know what I would do without you. DID YOU EVER KNOW THAT YOU'RE MY HEROOOOO? Come on, Spartans! I know you know the words!"

The entire student body is now serenading Bella with 'Wind Beneath My Wings', myself included, because this shit is priceless.

Bella's turned a shade of red that I didn't even know existed. She's attempting to smile and be gracious, but it's coming across as kind of a painful grimace. The situation is so terribly awkward, it's almost funny. Okay... there's no 'almost' about it, it IS funny. Mikey actually seems to find it hysterical. He's currently giggling like a lunatic.

"Oh. My. God. I. Love. Him. So. Much," he wheezes.

There are more hoots and hollers before we settle down and give the principal a chance to wrap things up. The players take a few last bows and the cheerleaders grace us with one more routine... thus putting an official end to our first Forks High pep rally.

As students slowly start to trickle out of the gym, more than one person comes up to personally thank Bella for her sisterly dedication.

She's polite, but I can totally tell she wants to slap them all. It's quite entertaining.

Once we get outside, and away from mixed company, she begins her tirade.

"Someone please tell me that just didn't fucking happen. Someone please tell me I was knocked unconscious before the rally and had a nightmare where the entire fucking school sang Bette Midler to me. Someone please tell me that Emmett is not, in fact, the most embarrassing asshole on the face of the fucking Earth. SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME THAT I DIDN'T HEAR YOU ALL SINGING A-FUCKING-LONG!"

I'd like to say that we all kept straight faces and were wholly apologetic. Not so much. If anything, we were laughing harder now than we had been in the gym. Bella looks so pissed and I'm kind of starting to fear which one of us is going to be victim of her wrath.

"What'd you guys think of my speech? Pretty sweet, huh?"

Ahh... saved by the quarterback.


End file.
